danny12 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Well, I was able too actually see for myself kind of truth to what jealousy is. in my previous relationship, I was always jealous. When I looked back the reasons were "she is probably flirting with this guy and wants to hook up with him" or "she does not care about me, she is talking to other guys" so on and so on. It was a lack of trust, I can honestly say I did not 100% trust her at all. My current relationship, I only got jealous before we dated and started talking, because I had a crush and would get jealous anytime I saw her talking to a guy because I thought she was gunna be with him and not me and that I had to make a move soon. Then, bam we dated and clicked and we are now "official" and now I am no longer jealous. I care about hr, I love her, I love spending time with her, I actually want to marry her (yes infatuation stage is over, so its not driven from "fake love"). When she goes out or talks to a guy im like "what if she flirts with him or wants to date him..oh wait no not really that wouldn't happen she wouldn't do that, im not bothered by her talking to guys or hanging with them or laughing" like, I am NOT bothered by anything and I love her so much! Its such a stress free relationship compared to my last one. even in my last relationship, I just got annoyed and tired and eventually stopped talking to her because she was so irritating. Conclusion: Jealousy is not a sign of love or care. It is a sign of insecurities in the relationship and a lack of trust. Just my experience and opinion tho! What is yours?! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Its partly a way to define it. I call it envy turned inside out. You are growing if you can grasp the happy medium that comes from this perception. Be cautious as you cannot control others behaviors, yet you can control how you behave in those scenarios. BIG difference. No one is 100% trusting, instead value that 99% that is ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author danny12 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 Its partly a way to define it. I call it envy turned inside out. You are growing if you can grasp the happy medium that comes from this perception. Be cautious as you cannot control others behaviors, yet you can control how you behave in those scenarios. BIG difference. No one is 100% trusting, instead value that 99% that is ! Well, I do trust her a lot lot. I latterly feel like she would not do anything at all to ever hurt me! I understand what you say tho! envy turned inside out! Link to post Share on other sites
Author danny12 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 Its partly a way to define it. I call it envy turned inside out. You are growing if you can grasp the happy medium that comes from this perception. Be cautious as you cannot control others behaviors, yet you can control how you behave in those scenarios. BIG difference. No one is 100% trusting, instead value that 99% that is ! actually wow, im totally confused to what you said lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author danny12 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 I do not think there is levels of trust. Its either you trust the person or you do not. there is no in-between. Trust 100% is possible, but there are different subcategories! for instance, I do NOT trust my gf to do a trust fall, she would probably drop me lol. But I could trust 100% that if I gave my family member a knife and sat there that they would never even point the thing at me. Just like jealousy, you either are jealous or you are not, its not like you feel "a little bit jealous". Impossible, if you feel a little bit jealous then you ARE jealous. If you feel a different intensity it is beause mixed emotion is in there like anger or hatred. If someone becomes jealous of their gf or bf, they automatically say ""I hate them" along with it. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Conclusion: Jealousy is not a sign of love or care. It is a sign of insecurities in the relationship and a lack of trust. Just my experience and opinion tho! What is yours?! Good insight. I've never thought that hyper-jealousy stemmed from a lack of trust in your partner but rather a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Sometimes this fear seems to wane by itself as we mature, but often it takes counseling to find the insight and self-understanding required to let go of the fear. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 jealousy hurts uncontrollably, and so the victim needs a cuddle or a fuss made of them til they feel better again and until the hurt has gone, sorry, I bet people will disagree, as if a hurt person wants scorn, just be soothing, it is not that difficult Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 I think before one finds someone who is 100% trustworthy, is it hard to imagine that jealousy is a weakness in your character and her actions and not a sign of feeling. I think when people try to use others to make their lover jealous, they are showing immaturity and relationship deficiency as that is only a symptom of someone who is insecure and believes jealousy is indicative of feelings when it is only indicative of no trust. I completely agree with you. We have no jealousy, as we trust each other and aren't misinformed about its meaning. Those who think they lack feeling due to lack of jealousy have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like. I also don't get why people think you are valued if someone else wants you. It only matters if your SO wants you so placing value on others opinion on your worth reeks of insecurity in yourself or your partner. JMHO, Grumps 3 Link to post Share on other sites
luvshaq Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Confidence is more attractive. You can't look at a partner as an object that you own. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 actually wow, im totally confused to what you said lol Danny- Usually shorhand remarks can be deciphered. So since you prefer the long hand here it goes. Jealousy is the oppositive of envy- If I envy a person, I admire their traits, talent or some character of them that is worthy of respect. Jealousy carries no respect but rather is selfish in nature. As to trust, sorry , but there are degress of trust in this world, Its not ALL or nothing. Thus the most we can do with those in our lives is have degrees of trust. I can trust my co workers to remit reports on time but cannot trust that what is in those reports isn't doctored to cover their A55. I can trust that some compliments are insincere and some critical remarks are INDEED personal. those are just some ways that we measure our trusts. Link to post Share on other sites
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