Think her rebound is falling apart

[OhNoNotAgain]

Here's a quick recap of my story. My and my ex were together for 8 months. I've been in NC for over 6 weeks. The morning of our breakup she was kissing, hugging me, and telling me she loved me. Then broke up with me hours later.

 

She started seeing someone pretty much immediately. I have no idea if she left me for him, or what her deal was.

 

We met online, and I've been back on there trying to meet someone new. So yesterday, I happened to notice her profile was back up. But all the pics, and info were gone. So she was on there looking at something. She was either looking at the new guy to see if he has been online, or she was looking at me. At least those are the only 2 options I can think of. I would imagine she would have at least looked at my profile out of curiosity, but who knows.

 

I saw her do this a few weeks back, but her profile was disabled just as soon as it was back on. But now she has been on there multiple times in the past day. So I'm starting to think regardless of what she's looking at, her rebound relationship is starting to fall apart.

 

I think that right now might be my only chance at getting her back. If I see her profile go back up into full status, I think I might send her a quick message on there.

 

It's worth a try right? The worst that can happen is I'm right back were I am.

[elseaacych]

The worst that can happen is that her rebound is failing, and she still doesn't want you back. That sends the (unintended) message that literally NOTHING is preferable. It could put you worse than you were before the breakup.

 

"Worse than you were before the break up" is a technical term for sadness and misery beyond all belief because you just got rejected, again. AGAIN.

 

That being said, you could also be successful: you could be the rebound of the rebound. If you're willing to cope with her as she heals from that, that's awesome. But she may leave you once she's feeling better, and if she thinks the problems from the past relationship haven't resolved themselves.

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't go for it, I'm just advising on alternatives.

[OhNoNotAgain]

The worst that can happen is that her rebound is failing, and she still doesn't want you back. That sends the (unintended) message that literally NOTHING is preferable. It could put you worse than you were before the breakup.

 

"Worse than you were before the break up" is a technical term for sadness and misery beyond all belief because you just got rejected, again. AGAIN.

 

That being said, you could also be successful: you could be the rebound of the rebound. If you're willing to cope with her as she heals from that, that's awesome. But she may leave you once she's feeling better, and if she thinks the problems from the past relationship haven't resolved themselves.

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't go for it, I'm just advising on alternatives.

 

Sure being rejected again would really suck, and I'd be kidding myself if I didn't think that is what's going to happen. And ya, it's very possible, and probably likely, that a rejection would mess my head up even worse. But I think I'd rather try and know that there's no hope left, rather than wondering "what if I would have sent that message" forever.

 

But I think I'm gonna send it if I see her profile go back up. I think it's something I need to do to get some kind of closure with this. If I get rejected after my NC, then I'll know nothing has changed in her mind.

 

I will say that this is driving me absolutely insane. She's been doing the same thing for another day, and I can't help but try to figure out what she's looking at. I'm pretty sure at this point she's cyber stalking the new guy. Hopefully with a look at me in there somewhere, lol.

 

I want to stop looking, but the curiosity is overwhelming.

[OhNoNotAgain]

Ok, well her profile is back up. Any ideas on what I should say?

[xUnknown]

Sure being rejected again would really suck, and I'd be kidding myself if I didn't think that is what's going to happen. And ya, it's very possible, and probably likely, that a rejection would mess my head up even worse. But I think I'd rather try and know that there's no hope left, rather than wondering "what if I would have sent that message" forever.

 

But I think I'm gonna send it if I see her profile go back up. I think it's something I need to do to get some kind of closure with this. If I get rejected after my NC, then I'll know nothing has changed in her mind.

 

I will say that this is driving me absolutely insane. She's been doing the same thing for another day, and I can't help but try to figure out what she's looking at. I'm pretty sure at this point she's cyber stalking the new guy. Hopefully with a look at me in there somewhere, lol.

 

I want to stop looking, but the curiosity is overwhelming.

 

If you've been looking at her profile and keeping tabs on when she logs on and wondering what she's doing with her profile --then you're not keeping NC.

 

Drop it, and keep strict NC. Who cares what she does, she's allowed to do whatever, quit looking for answers in something that could/couldn't be true. you're just giving yourself this false hope that is going to hurt you even more. Let her come back to you if she wants to. You coming back will only push her further away.

 

How do I know this? My ex dumped me. I went strict NC. She came back to me months later. When we talked she said she knew she made the mistake when we hugged goodbye. She said she was pissed at me for NOT chasing after her and getting her back...BUT, she said had I done that, she would have been pissed at me for going after her after she left (yeah, makes sense right lol, #rolls eyes). They have to realize it for themselves and make the decision to come back on their own. You going after her will only push her further away.

 

Stay NC. STRICT NC...meaning NO LOOKING at her profile. Stop going on the site or delete your profile so you're not tempted to anymore and leave it at that.

[bubbaganoosh]

Why would you want someone back who was hugging you, kissing you, telling you that she loved you and an hour later ran you down like road kill?

 

It's obvious that she handed you a load of "shineola" and went off with some other guy at the drop of a hat.

 

All your doing is hoping to go from the frying pan into the fire with her.

 

Why don't you do yourself a favor and find someone else who has a bit more character.

 

She showed you her true colors and either you don't want to see it or your color blind.

[OhNoNotAgain]

Update for you guys. So I didn't message her. And I ended up looking a week or so later and the profile was back down. But now I noticed today it's back up again, lol. I know, I know, I shouldn't look, but I did.

 

And I think this time I'm gonna message her. It's been a few more weeks. And I might have to move soon anyway, so I'm very curious to see what she would say if I message her. As long as I don't have to hear her tell me she's in love with someone else, I can handle whatever she says.

 

I don't think I have anything to lose at this point. It's been 9 weeks or so, so what the hell!

[JahnJahn]

Update for you guys. So I didn't message her. And I ended up looking a week or so later and the profile was back down. But now I noticed today it's back up again, lol. I know, I know, I shouldn't look, but I did.

 

And I think this time I'm gonna message her. It's been a few more weeks. And I might have to move soon anyway, so I'm very curious to see what she would say if I message her. As long as I don't have to hear her tell me she's in love with someone else, I can handle whatever she says.

 

I don't think I have anything to lose at this point. It's been 9 weeks or so, so what the hell!

 

Your sanity for one. I understand how you feel and i broke NC under some circumstances but I am not going to be doing it again. Well until i can look at her with someone else and not be messed up about it the next day.

[ThorntonMelon]

Update for you guys. So I didn't message her. And I ended up looking a week or so later and the profile was back down. But now I noticed today it's back up again, lol. I know, I know, I shouldn't look, but I did.

 

And I think this time I'm gonna message her. It's been a few more weeks. And I might have to move soon anyway, so I'm very curious to see what she would say if I message her. As long as I don't have to hear her tell me she's in love with someone else, I can handle whatever she says.

 

I don't think I have anything to lose at this point. It's been 9 weeks or so, so what the hell!

 

You do know what she's going to say. She's going to give you platitudes about saying hello and life is good, say she misses your friendship, and then move on.

 

If she wanted you, you'd know.

[SarcasticAbby]

Here's a quick recap of my story. My and my ex were together for 8 months. I've been in NC for over 6 weeks. The morning of our breakup she was kissing, hugging me, and telling me she loved me. Then broke up with me hours later.

 

She started seeing someone pretty much immediately. I have no idea if she left me for him, or what her deal was.

 

We met online, and I've been back on there trying to meet someone new. So yesterday, I happened to notice her profile was back up. But all the pics, and info were gone. So she was on there looking at something. She was either looking at the new guy to see if he has been online, or she was looking at me. At least those are the only 2 options I can think of. I would imagine she would have at least looked at my profile out of curiosity, but who knows.

 

I saw her do this a few weeks back, but her profile was disabled just as soon as it was back on. But now she has been on there multiple times in the past day. So I'm starting to think regardless of what she's looking at, her rebound relationship is starting to fall apart.

 

I think that right now might be my only chance at getting her back. If I see her profile go back up into full status, I think I might send her a quick message on there.

 

It's worth a try right? The worst that can happen is I'm right back were I am.

 

Did you read that before you posted it? What would you tell a friend if they came to you with that story? I don't mean to be harsh but what in the hell would you want to go and do that for?!?! She did it once to you...she'll do it again.

 

And yes she probably checked out your profile but that doesn't mean she wants you back. And again if she did who's to say she won't leave again?

[OhNoNotAgain]

I'm sure you guys are probably right, and even if she did come back, you're right, she might leave again.

 

But I feel like this is something I need in order to move on. I need to know how she feels now that time has passed. If she doesn't want me, so be it. But at least I'll know. I'd rather know that there is no chance, then to wonder my whole life what she would have said if I messaged her.

 

It would also be the push I need to move away from this city. Part of me is holding out hope that one day she'll come back. But I don't want to stay here for hope. I'd rather know that she has no feelings for me, and that there is nothing for me in this town.

 

I just need to know if she still feels the same as she did when we broke up. Regardless of the outcome.