learning_slowly Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Not a chance in the world we will work, one day want to see karma hit her so hard.. Time will tell. I'm not sure karma exists like that. But also, you're wasting energy on bitterness that you could be using to help yourself or somebody else. I think will smith made a quote somewhere about it, and his life seems to have gone ok Don't waste your time dreaming I agree, 90% of the time people are dreaming, but for some people there maybe a chance. We don't know all the details and on here we only read 1 persons viewpoint. People can get back together, I've seen it. But it takes a lot to rebuild the trust. But for most, be prepared to be dismissed. That's life built on capitalism Link to post Share on other sites
jt27 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Right now, at this time post break up, I probably am too weak to say no if she wanted to come back. A huge part of me hopes she comes crawling back, the other part hopes she doesn't because I am afraid to say yes. Right now, I don't think I am capable of making a sound decision and don't want to be faced with that decision. I think I need to move on before I can consider whether or not I would take her back. It cannot be based solely on emotion, which dominates me right now. Months from now, maybe once some changes are made, (on my part too, I can now see my contributions to the break up) things could be different and we could start fresh because things will never be the same. Trust is the issue and would need to be rebuilt. All situations are different but I can't say "never say never"...at least right now I can't. Link to post Share on other sites
furby58 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 the mind says : i dont think i could see how it would ever work again ..he didnt fight for me back then so i dont see why he would fight for me in the future . so ..no,never . the heart . unfortunately every bit of love that i ever have for the man is still there ..sometimes i wish i didnt give a hoot about the guy anymore .the heart would consider it despite getting broken to million little pieces . Link to post Share on other sites
lovesick1 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Nope. We broke up for a reason- we were both just way too different. Busy medical student + fitness manager don't go together . If I am still single, ask me again in 10 years when shes making 200+ a year after taxes. Sad but that was the main reason holding me back from ending it... So much security Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 the mind says : i dont think i could see how it would ever work again ..he didnt fight for me back then so i dont see why he would fight for me in the future . so ..no,never . . I think it all depends. I didn't fight for my ex when I could of. Then when I wanted to, it was too late. Your situation could be alot different. Some people do change. But hopefully shes happy now, and so I won't try and ruin that. Link to post Share on other sites
7yearsbroken Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I'm not sure karma exists like that. But also, you're wasting energy on bitterness that you could be using to help yourself or somebody else. I think will smith made a quote somewhere about it, and his life seems to have gone ok People can get back together, I've seen it. But it takes a lot to rebuild the trust. But for most, be prepared to be dismissed. That's life built on capitalism Bitterness will reside until enlightenment arrives. Karma may not exist, but the thought of someone leaving her the way she did me does seem ok with me. Maybe not karma, poetic justice? Will smith and jada pinket smith are in a open relationship. I can't see myself doing that. Yes trust can be rebuilt for two mature adults. Can someone still rebuilt after one cheats? Very unlikely, but possible. Wouldn't it be easier to find someone who would treat right? Just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Wouldn't it be easier to find someone who would treat right? Just saying. I didn't know that about the open relationship. Or is that how the media portray it? He always came across as a person with values? It maybe easier, but if you do rebuild and get through it, you are likely to have a solid relationship. A new relationship would have more insecurities unless these type of things were discussed from the beginning. Which is better? I don't think either. Rebuilding will work well for some, but I think there needs to be remorse and actions taken to sort out what the problems were. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I would absolutely give it a go. We had a wonderful relationship, in fact by far the best I have had. Obviously there would need to be some very honest discussions from the start regarding the issue that ended the relationship, what changed etc. as it would make zero sense to simply repeat history. "wonderful?" So, why aren't you together now? I would only entertain the possibility IF: 1. Neither of us were dating 2. The break-up was amicable and it did not involve cheating, betrayal, GIGS, any form of abuse, etc. 3. That once any issues were clearly defined and confronted, that starting over is not an option. No sense in starting over considering you already know one another 4. The relationship be defined and mapped to be on the next level, road-map to a much more serious commitment, ie. no desire to date indefinitely w/o a end (to dating) Link to post Share on other sites
7yearsbroken Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I didn't know that about the open relationship. Or is that how the media portray it? He always came across as a person with values? It maybe easier, but if you do rebuild and get through it, you are likely to have a solid relationship. A new relationship would have more insecurities unless these type of things were discussed from the beginning. Which is better? I don't think either. Rebuilding will work well for some, but I think there needs to be remorse and actions taken to sort out what the problems were. My ex mentioned an open relationship. Did you want an open relationship? To me, it sounds like the one asking is the one who wants out, or at least want to see what's out there. If you asked for the open relationship then kudos to you if you think you guys can work on things. Either way communication and trust is key in rebuilding. can you risk being hurt twice as much if it leads to a breakup/break again? I hope you find what you are searching for. Link to post Share on other sites
realfriends Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I used to entertain this idea a lot during the first couple of months after the relationship ended. I no longer think its healthy to even think about because all it does is cling you onto hope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Me: when someone breaks a heart to another person as much as you broke mine, there is not anything left. Not a greeting on a street. (walks away) After that her actions might maybe away me in one direction or the other, but I would prefer to experience love with someone else. I'm in that group that grew to hate the dumper. Link to post Share on other sites
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