Lonley Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Thisis lengthy, but I truley need help I am a 17 year old Half British and Half Arabic male. I have the face of a westerner with fair or olive-ish skin. I'm 5' 10'' and 136 pounds. I am an average looking guy with nice eye-area looks.. average smile and a slightley larger nose. I'm living in canada right now, have been for 6 year. I have friends who are good to me, though very few. Even though they are my friends we never really do anything after school, only sometimes on weekends, so I really have a very lousy social life and little experiance I'm a very introvert person. I'm afraid of saying somthing stupid and I can't defend myself verbaly, not because I can't think of anything but because I'm too worried about saying the wrong thing. For me, it's not "I souldn't have..." it's "I should have..." If u get my drift. I can't get a girlfriend (last one was gr.8 lol, when I wasn't as paranoid, and she asked me out), I'm afraid to talk to attractive women, because I don't want to be let down and I'm very self aware, I'm really wondering what's there to live for and stuff. My parents are extremely over protective, and I think that is what made me this way. I'm completely free of any drugs (not incl. alcohol, don't drink, except on occasion) will always be. I've been this way for at least 2 years (Depressed) and enough is enough, I need to change and I don't know how . The only things that put a smile on my face r my family (extended family, cousins etc.) football(soccer: football) and this one girl…. I'm crazy over her and I'm afraid to have a conversation with her, she makes me feel more than a million bux when she smiles... .. So I beg you what should I do? I’m beyond attracted to this girl! I really would go threw great lengths to protect her… if u get what I mean. I don’t talk to this girl much, infact I can tell u I haven’t said more than 20 words to her since the first time I saw her 2 years ago. She knows who I am, but doesn’t really notice me, cuz I’m kinda becoming this quite kid now adays… How do I start a friendly conversation with this girl? I don’t even care if I get to date her or not, I just want to be her friend, but everytime I talk to her, like at rogers the movie rental place (where she works) she opened a casheir for me and I… I couldn’t say anything… Except “hi, Thank you, Cya”… That stuff… I really hate myself for that… Not only that this semester it is so much harder to talk to he cuz she isn’t in any of my classes anymore, and I only see her at her locker and once in a while in the hallway. Sorry for the read, but I have nothing better to do ATM…. If ANYONE answered it would really motivate me to atleast keep trying at life and stuff… (My life situation sounds worse than it is… I do get out enough to keep me somewhat busy… but it’s just not fun anymore, and my outlook on life has completely changed since gr.9, I’m now in gr 11, it has gone really down hill and the only thing that brightens my day is her…) Link to post Share on other sites
DinNJ Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Thanks for that... now I think I'm depressed too.... and quit that 'life depending' nonsense... you need some confidence.... that's all.... so.... First and foremost... do you get any 'vibe' from her at all??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonley Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 lol, yeah, I did come off as a depressing person there didn't I Sooory I don't know wht you mean by "vibe"... All I can tell you about what and how she acts andreacts when she see's me outside of school is.... "normal". Nothing special IMO. The first time I saw her outside of school she smiled abit and waved... just like anyone would when you know who they are (this happened at the place she works at). In school the only times she has ever noticed me is when SHE hel the dorr for ME! I felt like a real ass when I walked through it and mummbled "thanks". Another time is when she was sitting behind me with her project partner, and she asked me if I knew what we were supposed to do... I started my answer (I knew what we were supposed to do) but then my partner budin and explain! The last time was when I held the door for her, She looked at me and walked rite past me... I dunno if she ment to not say anything or she was too inroled in a conversation with her friend to notice... The last time I saw her was about a week and a half ago (On the first day of semester exams). I haven't seen her since, I've kept a keen eye out searching for her... I didn't physicly go out of my way to find her but I was aware of who was around me and tried to spot her out. She isn't in any of my classes anymore, and I dunno what places to find her in, during school, I can find that out and I'm going to try to within this week. I doubt this girl knows I'm attracted to her, well maybe she thinks I'm attracted to her (I think she thinks/knows most guys are attracted), you know, "just" attracted. What she doesn't know is I have the BIGGEST crush I ever had on her, so severe I think my heart skips afew beats and I have to leanup against a locker or somthing to keep my knees from buckling Lol, again, sorry for the read you guys... I really want to go into detail... nad I have never done this sorta thing (using the internet for advice) so I dunno what I ONLY need to put down! Thankyou Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 The first step toward becoming successful with women is to stop being such a woman about everything. Grow a pair of balls and ask for some phone numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonley Posted February 10, 2005 Author Share Posted February 10, 2005 Fuzzy Chickens, even though that sounded pretty insulting, you are right! I should probebly "bite the bullet" walk over to her and just... YOU SEE THAT"S WHAT I MEAN I DUNNO HOW TO DO IT! That's my point, you make it sound so easy, I wish it was that easy for me It just isn't, What should I say and how should I start a conversation with this girl? How should I act around her? I can't just walk up to her and get her phine number, haha I wish it was that simple. Thanks for your input, atleast you bothered typing somthing, I really appreciate that. Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Heh heh. It sounds to me like you need some self-control training. Try extinguishing a lit match with your bare fingers and holding on to the smoldering tip for as long as possible. If you can do that, you can probably endure conversation with a girl you like. I succeeded in doing the match thing on my first try. I got a nice pair of second-degree burn blisters out of it. Resisting the urge to pop the larger blister was even harder than resisting the urge to let go of the match... Seriously, try it sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 And if that fails, three shots of Everclear should give you the courage to do just about anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonley Posted February 11, 2005 Author Share Posted February 11, 2005 lol, I would holdon to the burning match with my crotch to have a good conversation with her! LOL but I fail to see what holding a burning match has to do with talking to my crush and again thankyou I would really appreciate it if someone could maybe give me more specific advice on what I should do... I only have 5 months left in Canada and I am going to approach her before I leave, and I want it to be a good approach and end with us either being friends... or if I'm REALLY lucky her MSN or Phone number. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 The match thing is a willpower test. If you can force yourself to hold the match despite the incredible searing agony, then you can force yourself to talk to someone despite your crippling anxiety. In fact, you could even show her the match thing as a way to break the ice! Some chicks are impressed by that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonley Posted February 14, 2005 Author Share Posted February 14, 2005 Yeh, I see your point... lol, Break the ice with the match thing.. good idea, but I'd look like an idiot! Prolly fail art... cuz i would'nt be able to draw anything. Thanks again, I urge people to continue their appreciated advice for me! Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 The damage isn't permanent and it doesn't interfere with your hand's functionality. Explain that to her if she thinks it's a stupid thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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