Chi townD Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Is there a way that I can let her know that she is doing this and that I don't appreciate it without contact her? I do want her to know that I know she is doing it, but I don't want to contact her or let her know it's bothering me. Would sending her BF a message about it be a bad thing? Her new boyfriend could give a damn about you. What makes you think he would care about anything you have to say. To be honest, he would write it off as you being desperate and pining over your Ex. Because, he would ask her about it and that's EXACTLY how she would sell it to him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FortunateSon Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 Her new boyfriend could give a damn about you. What makes you think he would care about anything you have to say. To be honest, he would write it off as you being desperate and pining over your Ex. Because, he would ask her about it and that's EXACTLY how she would sell it to him. Thanks Chi town, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I will not do it. For some reason this has made me really upset and agitated for a lot of reasons. I guess subconsciously I was thinking that by contacting her BF about this in a dignified way and asking him to address it with her, it would disrupt her relationship/healing like it has mine. I wanted to retaliate/inflict the same feelings on her as she did to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 You have to stop thinking this way. You need to look at it at a different angle. You stated that you've blocked all ways of her finding out anything in your life. And yet, she's poured time and effort into finding out ANYTHING about you. Even going as far as taking the time and effort in contacting a girl she doesn't even know (finding her contact information) to talk smack about you. That doesn't seem like someone that's leading a perfect life as you're trying to describe to me. If she had a fantastic life and is completely happy and content, then she could give a rats ass about what's going on in your life. But, if she has all this time to do recon on you and play these games...well; to me, that seems pretty pathetic. Maybe you should pity her instead of being angry. But, above all else, don't play her games. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FortunateSon Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 Great advice Chi Town, I am grateful for you and everyone else's replies. My initial thoughts were that of pity for her when it happened, but then the last couple days it turned to anger, agitation, and injustice the more I thought about it. I felt like she was putting one over on me with out consequence, like she was getting away with a crime almost. I also felt angered that all of the effort of being NC and extricating her out of my life were wasted, as I feel set back. All of my other friends and family that I have told about this said that she cannot be very happy if she is doing this kind of stuff. Again, it didn't seem right to me that she could be in a "happy" relationship, do this, and take little time to heal, while I worked on myself, made progress, and then felt it stripped away because of her malicious behavior. It feels like I have been done wrong and experienced injustice. I has been especially frustrating, because I feel set back...I hope it passes soon and I feel better again soon...I will continue to re-read this advice and look at it from a different angle... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Why are you focusing so much on whether she's happy or unhappy? You almost sound like you are not over her and perhaps want to reconcile if she does. If I'm wrong just put this behind you and go out with friends have fun and meet new girls. Whatever your ex's reason for doing what she did is her burden to bear not yours. You spent 2 days on this now; put it behind you and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FortunateSon Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 Why are you focusing so much on whether she's happy or unhappy? You almost sound like you are not over her and perhaps want to reconcile if she does. If I'm wrong just put this behind you and go out with friends have fun and meet new girls. Whatever your ex's reason for doing what she did is her burden to bear not yours. You spent 2 days on this now; put it behind you and move on. I am probably not 100% over her, but I was getting very close. This whole incident feels like it has set me way back. I do not want to reconcile with her. I guess I can't understand why she would do this? I was becoming happy again, and after this I am not as much, that's why I am worried about her "happiness". I didn't ask her to do this, I was strict NC and never wanted to hear from her again. I don't want her to be happy after she has maliciously inflicted this agitation and pain on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I agree with Chi Town, don't do it. She will have her complete "WIN" if you do so. Stay silent and with a "low profile" for a while. Maybe get away a little from Facebook...? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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