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Apart from the obvious :) what big life changes have you made?

Shocked Suzie

By Shocked Suzie,
in Separation and Divorce

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Shocked Suzie

Shocked Suzie

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Since separation have you just thought "that's it" huge 360 in all areas?

 

I'm feeling a huge dissatisfaction within my job, feel pretty trapped as with no child support I'm pretty stuck with relying the regular income. I've been holding down two jobs (testing the water in one) loath the other... Have just been offered full time at the new place, so will be my changing work environment. I've not long finished studying (last August).

 

I feel I'm over the work I'm in, would love a fresh start in something new. I did the job I do now purely to fit in around the kids when they were young and I enjoy being around people... But want a change.

 

Don't get me wrong I'm thankful that I have a regular income... Just after all that's happened I fancy a real change... Maybe it my mid life crisis turn lol ;)

 

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ayala

ayala

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Maybe you could try a new experience.

 

If you've never volunteered, maybe you could start.

Spoil yourself a little.

Take a vacation on your own to somewhere you've always wanted to go.

Go to an all day spa/makeover (whatever they call this, lol)

 

Just anything you've wanted to do but never got the chance to until now!

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mammasita

mammasita

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Just a side note - 360 means you're right back where you started :p

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Shocked Suzie

Shocked Suzie

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Just a side note - 360 means you're right back where you started :p

 

Ha ha of course it is :D don't wanna do that now do I

 

 

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Shocked Suzie

Shocked Suzie

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Maybe you could try a new experience.

 

If you've never volunteered, maybe you could start.

Spoil yourself a little.

Take a vacation on your own to somewhere you've always wanted to go.

Go to an all day spa/makeover (whatever they call this, lol)

 

Just anything you've wanted to do but never got the chance to until now!

 

Once things calm down with work I would like to volunteer... I need a holiday for sure!

 

Just wondering if anyone else has felt this way, after so much change why do I want more!? I want a totally new career

 

Just wondered if anyone else has made big changes... Like a move, new job??

 

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PegNosePete

PegNosePete

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I took up amateur dramatics, I've been in several productions it's great fun.

I took up hiking, I'm on the committee of our local club and just come back from Everest base camp last week.

I took up piano playing, I now play in a rock band, we've done 2 gigs and trying to get more.

I took up skiing, did my first black run a couple of months ago.

I've been paragliding, canyoning, white-water rafting and scuba diving.

 

Basically you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT! You have no responsibilities to anyone but yourself. If you want to do something then DO it.

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RonaldS

RonaldS

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Probably the biggest life change I've made is trying to relax and enjoy life.

 

My marriage had foundational expectations rooted in the 50s. My XW, her parents, and seemingly most of the people in our lives had totally antiquated life timeline expectations for us. By x ages, you need to a) be married, b) own a home, c) have a certain amount of assets d) make a certain amount per year.....all with my XW being a stay-at-home mom.

 

The problem was, I didn't view life like that. I'm entrepreneurial, but my motivations are not financially driven. More freedom driven. My XW didn't really think she should have to work. Her last job was for a year in 2004. And once we started having kids, she really didn't want to work anymore.

 

But she and her family thought we should still live a certain kind of life. But it wasn't the 50s anymore, and we didn't live in some small Midwestern town anymore. We lived in the middle of an expensive major city. I started a business, did well, we lived in nice neighborhoods and drove nice cars, and my XW still didn't have to work outside of nannying for a few hours a week. And we had TONS of freedom, even after the kids. Got to go back to her parents house for 4 day weekends whenever we wanted (who gets to do that?), I got to start work late to hang out with the kids at the park in the morning, or take a few hours off in the middle of the day so my XW could do have time to do her thing.

 

But it was never good enough for her, and she kept amping up the blame for not having it all. So I pushed harder and harder, gave upper and more of my/our freedoms, and life became a total grind. And it still wasn't good enough. I ended up living a life totally antithetical to the one I had always wanted and was capable of living. Grinding out every day.

 

Still wasn't good enough.

 

Now, I just relax and enjoy. I still work hard to provide for my kids, and I am starting a new career soon, but I now make sure that I enjoy every day, whether those days are with the kids or not with them. I make it a point to savor the life that I have. For instance, at this point, I don't have to be anywhere 1st thing in the morning during the week, so I go to the coffee shop around the corner and luxuriate for an hour or so (and post here a lot). I don't have to be a slave to a bunch of other people's goofy expectations, and I have the time to just be and simmer.

 

It's a total priority for me now to establish and maintain my own expectation for how my (and my kids') lives go.

 

Life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

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Shocked Suzie

Shocked Suzie

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I too have been doing some chill out me time, before I used to actually feel guilty. Now I handle my own money, know what i can and cant afford AND now see the importance of some personal time.... I will always ensure I take time out

 

I've only ever wanted a simple life and plan to keep it that way, just would love to really change my career and start to build a better social life (all of my friends are married)

I know I totally capable of changing my career, just making that jump!...that and the fact that I have my kids full time and im not getting any financial support from the Ex so my income and small amount of government support is all I have...it all feels a bit scary

 

 

Thanks for input

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PegNosePete

PegNosePete

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im not getting any financial support from the Ex so my income and small amount of government support is all I have...it all feels a bit scary

Yeah I get what you're saying, but look at it this way instead.

You're living independently, not relying on anyone else to keep you housed, fed or clothed.

Wouldn't it be MORE scary to have your fate decided by someone else's financial whims, which could change at any moment??

You are in control of your own destiny :)

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