JaySmith Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Would you consider the following to be another form of cheating? 1)Partner replacement fantasies while making love with S.O. 2)Masturbating to fantasies that include other people. 3)Viewing pornography and while lusting the people in it. In simplest form, is there a such thing as mentally cheating? Is there another form of cheating aside from having sex with another person physically? If you are putting nothing before your S.O. when they want you and even still love them and attracted to them, is it wrong to think whatever you want? Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Would you consider the following to be another form of cheating? 1)Partner replacement fantasies while making love with S.O. 2)Masturbating to fantasies that include other people. 3)Viewing pornography and while lusting the people in it. These CAN be cheating... it's a matter of degree. If you are using the energy you should be giving to your partner to do these other things, then yes, it can be. But if you just imagine someone else once in a while, or view porn as a supplement to your sex life with your partner, then no. In simplest form, is there a such thing as mentally cheating? Is there another form of cheating aside from having sex with another person physically? If you are putting nothing before your S.O. when they want you and even still love them and attracted to them, is it wrong to think whatever you want? Dr. Phil's definition of cheating: - you are turning outside the relationship to meet a need that should be met inside the relationship - you wouldn't do it if your partner was standing there watching So there CAN be mental cheating, but as I said, it's a matter of degree. If you are obsessing over a certain person in your mind to the point where your relationship is suffering, it's a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Turtles Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Jay, this always depend on you & your partner. Different couples have different boundaries. Sometimes you have to set the boundaries for yourself... e.g. I have noticed my relationship suffered when I used porn, so I stopped (though my partner did not care and did not consider it cheating) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 1)Partner replacement fantasies while making love with S.O. No. 2)Masturbating to fantasies that include other people. No. 3)Viewing pornography and while lusting the people in it. No. And I would not be in the least offended if my W does. I'm actually sure she does. Good for her. In simplest form, is there a such thing as mentally cheating? No. And you just KILLED the entire advertising and marketing industries - there's a reason "they" say "sex sells". Is there another form of cheating aside from having sex with another person physically? Emotional affairs (EA) are when one partner has an inappropriate emotional attachment to another. It is an EA if the cheater hides the nature and extent of the feelings from his/her spouse. This line of what is or is not appropriate emotional connection is to be defined by the partners. If you are putting nothing before your S.O. when they want you and even still love them and attracted to them, is it wrong to think whatever you want? If anyone says what you think is wrong - dump them. Think all you want - just don't act on it. (Unless you and your partner agree beforehand). Link to post Share on other sites
ThatGirl213 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Answering to all the above questions is a No, imo. It all depends from person to person though. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 There are numerous forums of relationship unhealthiness and/or betrayal but one word generally describes 'cheating'. Deception. This is where verifiable acts otherwise viewed by one's spouse/partner as inappropriate are purposely hidden from them. Of the list offered, the ones I'd cross off relate to fantasy, since it's not verifiable as no one can ever know nor prove what is in another's mind, ever, at least not at our current level of evolution. For all I know, my exW could have been fantasizing about the stallion in the paddock next door while we were making love, doing some awesome bestiality stuff, but can't prove it so it's irrelevant. If she had shared her fantasy, it couldn't be cheating because it's disclosed. No deception. There ya go Link to post Share on other sites
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