physical abuse

[JaySmith]

When I feel extremely disrespected and taking for granted i have become physicaly controlling. I haven't kicked, punched, or slapped my wife, but I have pushed, pulled, and sat her down. Especially in response to her verbal abuse.

 

Regardless if she change or not, I'd like to stop this behavior and I don't want it to progress. It happens rarely and isn't provoked esasily. I've identified the causes of it and like to hear some feed back and ideas.

 

1.Not releasing anger before it builds up from her behavior.

 

2.Feeling extremely disrespected and taken for granted when I'm verbally abused.

 

3.Not being able to let go of an intense disagreement of a fight and accepting that it won't be fixed over night.

Edited May 15, 2014 by JaySmith

[ja123]

You sound very enlightened and proactive.

 

 

That's great.

 

 

You and she might need some couples counseling in order to learn how to better communicate and resolve conflict. And, yes, not everything will be resolved overnight. That is quite a realistic view on your part.

 

 

For me, dealing with things when they come up is much better than letting them fester to the point where one explodes.

 

 

Regarding your not being respected, you need to clearly place your boundaries with your wife and use "I" statements to express how her behaviour makes you feel. She needs to change, too.

 

 

These websites might be helpful: Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice, Home | The 5 Love Languages®; also the books "Emotional Blackmail" by Susan Forward, "Mastering Change" by Ichak Adizes.