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What should I do?


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There is a girl at my college, she's been there for about 4 months. We have talked several times together and when we do we have a great connection together, like we've known each other for years. We have loads of things in common and I feel we could talk for ages.

 

Lately I have been having feelings towards her, I 'm afraid of telling her that I like her. If she doesn't feel the same way about me I feel it would create an awkward tension between us as we have all the same classes together and I see her very often. What should I do?

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ReluctantRomeo

Don't confess undying love for her.

 

Here's a tip my mum gave me when I was first dating (many moons ago!), and it's a great one. Ask her to do something with you. Something light, friendly and fun, just the 2 of you. If she says yes, there's a possibility - enjoy the occasion and see if it goes further. If she says no or makes excuses or fails to show, then she's not interested - move on with your life.

 

Easy, isn't it? :laugh:

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I went through a similar case, hung out with this girl for a few days, asked her out when i got home from break, was turned down, then a couple weeks later she's practically begging me to come and hang out again.

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Thanks for the replys. However I don't know is she has a boyfriend, how can I find out? Also the fear of rejection is kinda holding me back from asking her out. How can I overcome this?

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by Danni boy

Thanks for the replys. However I don't know is she has a boyfriend, how can I find out? Also the fear of rejection is kinda holding me back from asking her out. How can I overcome this?

 

 

Take the plunge, Danni boy. Girls like guys who have confidence. And guess what - they want a guy too, especially with V-day coming up, so you have a marketable product :)

 

Here's a refined tip: ask her to do something light and *ambiguous*. Something which may or may not be romantic. So that if she does have a boyfriend it still looks innocent for you to ask it, and you can get out without looking like a dork. Like lunch. Or an hour or 2 spent pursuing some common interest. She will drop the boyfriend into conversation rapidly enough if you ask to meet up in whatever way, shape or form, don't worry.

 

On the rejection thing, I'm afraid that if you date girls this is gonna happen sooner or later. And frequently. Sorry. The trick is not to take it personally. Which, if you're kind and fun, it won't be - it says nothing about your personal worth if she already has a boyfriend. She's just taken, that's all. Accept her decision gracefully, move on politely and still be friendly when you see her. If you are smooth, she won't treat it as a personal rejection and you won't feel kicked in the teeth.

 

Time for you to put up or shut up. Go for it or forget her, but don't torture yourself.

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