Should I choose the ring or should she?

[nestlequik]

I want to propose to my gf. I know she'll say yes.

 

Do women prefer if the man proposes with a ring he already chose? Or should I propose sans ring and then go ring shopping together?

 

As background, I have pretty good taste and a decent budget. I think I know what she likes, but wouldn't be offended if she wanted to trade it for something else.

 

So for me, I'd rather pick something out and surpass her. Unless it's a bad idea?

[nescafe1982]

 

So for me, I'd rather pick something out and surpass her. Unless it's a bad idea?

 

I think if this is important to you, that is the way you ought to go.

 

She'll be thrilled either way! Good luck and congrats!

[pink_sugar]

My husband chose my ring and I was thrilled. I think either way works, but it's nice to have the proposal be a surprise. Do you know if she likes white gold vs white gold, or have an idea of her style?

[SolG]

I would NOT have been pleased if my xH chose my ring without me! However, my view of jewellery is a bit different to most; I like to 'find' distinctive pieces for myself. I can't imagine not going through the process of trying things on until I stumble across that thing that's just right. And I'm the same with flowers. I have always bought my own every week because how would anyone else know whether I'm in a tulip or a peony (etc, etc) mood at that moment?

 

That having been said, almost every other girl I know loves to get flowers and has a pre-drawn design in her head of her dream engagement ring. I don't understand it... but that seems to be the way it is!

 

If you can extract that vision from her head somehow... Go buy it and surprise the hell out of her.

[tbf]

Choose a ring, propose and after she accepts, let her know that you won't be offended if she doesn't like it and wishes to trade it in for a different ring.

[angel.eyes]

As a woman, I would be fine either way. It's a gift. So for me, it's the thought and the feeling behind it that ultimately counts.

 

Tbf makes the perfect suggestion.

[newmoon]

I want what I want, and lots of other women do as well. I think an engagement should be a romantic surprise, but I would hope he would know the exact style and color and cut that would make me happy. If you aren't going to get her input then at least get her something you know with certainty she'll like; a return/exchange might make her feel awkward, even if you 'allow' it. Depending on how far away you are from proposing there is nothing wrong with getting a costume ring or two and seeing which one she likes, or looking at a magazine with rings on the page and asking which she thinks is pretty, or going into her jewelry and seeing what she tends to buy in terms of size/style

[Kingston100]

My vote is for you to pick out the ring. Talk to a trust worthy friend of hers for advice. Chances are she has mentioned to a friend what styles she likes, or at least her friend would have a good idea of the type of stuff she already owns.

 

For me, I would be happiest if he picked something himself. However, I wear some yellow gold family rings and I know if he picked a white gold ring (probably at the encouragement of a sales rep because that is what is trendy) I would be a little bummed... just because they wouldn't look nice together.

[MissBee]

Depends on her personality...do you think she would prefer if you chose it or would she want to choose it together?

 

I have a Pinterest board that has tons of pictures of rings I like, so it would be easy for a bf to figure it out if he looked there , my current bf admitted to me that he creeps around on my Pinterest lol. Him purchasing one based on what seems to be the types I pin most would be sweet and show he's done his research. I would prefer for him to find a way, like that, or either taking me to browse rings "for fun" before or even online us just looking around and then him surprising me based on actual knowledge collected from those things versus coming out of the clear blue based on his own taste.

 

But the fact that you're open to her trading if she doesn't like it is very understanding. I think either way she'll be happy. But you know her best so do you think the surprise element suits her better or you picking it out together?

[juicygirl]

You should pick the ring. I'm surprise you don't know what she'd want already because a lot of women talk about the dream ring to their other half.

 

Anyway pick the ring. Hope it all goes well.

[pteromom]

You could have a diamond set into a simple solitaire. Propose with that. Then go shopping together for a permanent setting, and have another stone put into the solitaire for her other hand.

 

Or - just choose a ring and tell her you won't be offended if she wants something different.