Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Hey, I'm 17 years old and i'm a bit confused at the moment. About 2 months ago i went out with this girl at college, i didn't really know her but she was cute and i was lonely. 3 weeks after we started going out it was new years eve and she came round mine with some friends and we had a small part before she went her way and i went mine for the night, we had agreed to meet up before hand at 12. The night didn't really go as planned, at about 11.30 a good friend of mine was really ill so i decided to take him home and sort him out, all the time this was going on i was trying to find my girlfriend. She finally turned up at my house at 12.15, climbed into my bed and lost her virginity to me, after she gave me a drunken speech about how she loved me and this was really special to her. The next day i found out that she had been cheating on me all night long, by cheating i mean just snogging, she did this with 4 of my friends (who didn't know we were going out). The thing that got to me was the fact that she didn't tell me this had happened and still slept with me. If i had known that she was getting with over people there is no way i would of slept with her that night. I was also told she did this on the first night of our relationship. I then decided that i didn't want a cheating, lying girlfriend, so i finished it with her the next day. It had now been a month since we broke up and i am thinking of taken her back and giving her another chance, i have spoken to a lot of my friends and they feel that i am being stupid and keep saying "once a cheater, always a cheater". I understand they do not want to see me get hurt again but at the moment i am really needing to be wanted, i am not a very confident or independent person and feel as if i need to have her back in my life. Do you think it is right to take her back?I mean it was only snogging and she does seem to be genuinely upset about it and blamed it on the drink, i just feel lonely at the moment n feel as if i have to have a girlfriend to be comfortable. any comments would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Okay. Lemme get this straight. She lied to you about being a virgin. She slept with other guys. Then she let you sleep with her. WTF? Lose her dude. She ain't worth it. And HELL NO don't take her back?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 no tiki, she was a virgin. She only got off with other guys. I mainly finished with her becuase she lied to me. What you make of it now? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by Skinnerj snogging Sorry, I had never heard of this before. I thought it was like shagging, I'm a little out of the loop as you can tell. But it kinda sounds like another term for blowing your nose. Anyway. She still cheated on you, right? Is this gal really worth it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 snogging=french kissing, with tongues. She nothing special but i just feel lonely and feel like i need her, do you think there is any harm in giving her a second chance? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Ohhhh. See, I thought it was foreplay the second time. I gotta tell you a lil secret, Mrs. Tiki is old and out of the loop. Please forgive me! Okay then, give her another chance. Forgiveness is good. Especially if you really like this gal! Now I'm getting back to my rocking chair to finish my knitting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 Thank! Have fun in the chair! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Let me know if you need anything else misconstrued. Good luck! ~ma Link to post Share on other sites
AmHopeful Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Was she drunk or otherwise while she was snogging these other guys? Either way, you need a real talk with her. Good luck - it's a tough call, but I don't think you should want someone back just b/c you're lonely. Don't you think you should want her back for other reasons? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 yes she was drunk when doing this, she said she didn't know what she was doing and she does seem really sorry about the whole situation. I do like her, when i first saw she took my breath away, but i was just confused on whether she deserves another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 So will she do this again next time she gets drunk? Is she remorseful? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 I have been told by her friends that she is remorseful and would even go to such extremes as not to look at another bloke in front of me if i take her back. I have arranged to talk to her tomorrow night to sort things out. Link to post Share on other sites
AmHopeful Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Sounds like you really like this gal, perhaps you two can work it out. The talk is a good start - it's a good opportunity to share your expectations and explain how hurt you are. Remember to start with the "I" statements rather than the "You" statements. Good luck tomorrow night! Link to post Share on other sites
_Saffy_ Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 She nothing special but i just feel lonely if this is really how you feel, get a puppy. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Whoa....ditto. I didn't even see that. Your lonlieness will subside. And that's not fair to her just to go for her b/c of your lonlieness. Back 2 da rockin chair. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 You took her virginity while she was DRUNK!?!? You should've cared enough about her to make her at least wait until she was sober I say you owe her another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 If she really wants to, she can change. It's up to you whether or not you want to stay around to experience it. Only your heart can tell you where to go and what to do on this one. Follow it. You won't feel right otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by Monday You took her virginity while she was DRUNK!?!? You should've cared enough about her to make her at least wait until she was sober I say you owe her another chance. While I don't generally advocate getting it on with a/while drunk, especially with a virgin, these days considering various laws on the books, some gals don't act very appreciative of a guy "being a gentleman" and not making a move when she's drunk. Some take it as hit to their ego (which makes no sense but hey.. ) Give her another chance, but tread carefully. If she can't control herself while drinking... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 i ment lonely without her.....read on too, says feel like i need her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skinnerj Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 Also, shes a very shy girl, and we did talk about it before hand (not drunk) and she agreed she wanted ti to be at the start of a new year. Link to post Share on other sites
waspybird Posted September 14, 2005 Share Posted September 14, 2005 Honey!!! i would say follow ur heart, u shouldnt be asking people for wot they would do, as its ur life and ur decisions. one thing i will say, is ur both young, u have a lot of things to learn and people to meet, before marriage city hits in, so i say she lost her vaginity to u, whicj prooves she didnt dish that out, believe me!!! a girl dont just giv up her vaginity for the sake of it, it hurts like hell and when i was young it was going to be someone special.. it looks like u were her someone special, a snog is nothing, we can all do that when we r drunk and how many do u snog under the mistletoe???well there u have it.. chill baby and enjoy life as it comes.. Link to post Share on other sites
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