Husband thinks I'm fat

[RecordProducer]

Can you please explain to us why it's YOU who cleans the house? You also work part time and are a three-shift mother of two worst-age kids.

Regarding the weight, he just points it out and it's much better than ignoring it and desiring other women. He wants you to go on a diet and that's a good sign. He is still attracted to you. You would also like to feel self-confident about your sex-appeal again so the only way for both of you to feel good about it is if you lose weight. Start right now by choosing healthy food in small quantities. Go to sleep hungry, forget about the things that make you fat. You can't live without food, but you can live without chocolate, burgers or beer.

Back to the cleaning part...explain to him in a nice way that being a mother is very hard. Statistics say that most of the moms of little kids find motherhood very stressful and even depressing. It's hard to keep up with the obligations and the pace of fulfilling them. Cleaning the house has no top priority. The kids do. Your happiness is more important.

Learn to make the house look clean when it's not! ;-) You don't need to disinfect every corner of it every day, but try to not keep it messy. Don't leave things around if it bothers him. If he expects the house to look as if for sale 24/7 then he's exaggerating. However it seems to me that it's more in your nature then in the time required to clean the mess. Try to make as less mess as you can. You live with another creature so he has a say too. Neat men hate messy women! You're actually lucky that he's not the one who makes a lot of mess.

Fact is, it's hard to please us women. We always hate some things about our men. One of the secrets of happy marriages is to not be so sensitive. Try to be better, explain to him why things happen, but also ignore the emotional part.

You can always manipulate him by "playing innocent" (which you are!) Just like you honestly told us that you're hurt and didn't yell at us, you can say to him (with a very quiet voice) that he breaks your heart when he brings stuff...that you're giving your best, but it's just so hard, you love him so much, etc. Tears would help too. He will never ever say a word. That's what you want, no? ;-)