Why do some women not let their men rest?

[M30USA]

Me and my friend were discussing similar experiences about how some women go berserk when they see their man so much as take nap. Sometimes they also won't allow a man to get sick and, if he gets sick, will still insist that he act as normal and do his usual work around the house, etc.

 

I do know not all women are like this. Some truly get joy out of caring for their man and like him to feel good. But why do some women not do this? My friend actually said his ex started CRYING when she came home and he was napping. My own ex-wife got mad at me for having a stomach virus where I was throwing up. She ran to her parents house to complain about me. I mean, seriously, when it comes time for me to die, will they allow me to die in peace?

[gaius]

I have no idea but I've had to deal with that before. To the point it got so bad I literally had to tell her to get the f out of here. Wouldn't listen the first 10 times I asked nicely. Must be a needy attention thing.

[M30USA]

I have no idea but I've had to deal with that before. To the point it got so bad I literally had to tell her to get the f out of here. Wouldn't listen the first 10 times I asked nicely. Must be a needy attention thing.

 

At least she listened even if it took choice words.

 

But I even heard a woman at work complaining that her husband got a stomach virus and was resting. She literally said he doesn't have a right to "get sick on me" and she was visibly pissed off because he was being a "baby". I swear some women are MERCILESS on men when they're down.

 

 

I remember thinking about my ex-wife: "Will she even allow me to DIE when I'm an old man!?"

Edited May 17, 2014 by M30USA

[Tiger Lily]

Woman with cancer vs. Man with flu

 

I think it's sometimes hard to relate, as women are just so hardcore! Often, many women keep trudging along despite feeling sick. And some men don't. Who's right? Who knows. But some women might not think it's really "that bad".

 

Also, when people attack, it's usually based on fear. OP, your ex might have really been feeling scared that you weren't the "provider" she was hoping for (as unreasonable as she might have been acting in that moment).

 

Of course, I never do this. Just to clear my name. ()

[ASG]

Ha! I'll pitch in and say i don't usually do it. I'm the laziest f*cker around though! And honestly, if I'm ill, good luck getting me out of bed! I'm too sensitive to fever, and it knocks me down completely!

 

The only time I felt like saying something to my ex about his napping was when we went on holiday... And the ******* decided to swap sleeping patterns. He'd stay up until 5am then sleep all day, waking up only to have lunch... This left me pretty much alone during the whole day, apart from lunch and dinner...

I was on holiday and wanted to enjoy the sun and the pool... So I did... alone. I was FURIOUS at him, but I still never said anything. Or rather, I did, I said it bothered me he wasn't spending any time with me. Not that I objected to the amount of hours he was sleeping.

 

During our relationship he was usually the one giving me grief for sleeping in, but he always had afternoon naps and I was fine with that. Sometimes I'd join him!

[veritas lux mea]

I actuallly get upset with my husband when i am relaxing and he is cleaning up. I feel like he is guilt tripping me from taking a nap. Project much? Lol. So I try not to.

 

That being said my H is absolutely terrible when it comes to colds. Man cold all the way and he knows it. The guy is so unbearable I usually just leave the house until the worst of it passes.

 

I think all us girls claiming we don't do this is like all the guys who don't pressure their wife for sex and that's not why she is reluctant. No one on here ever admits that. And none of the guys ever admit they let the wife do all the parenting. Let's face it. We are all perfect here (or at least close to it) and it is the "other" who has the probelm. Gender has nothing to do with it.

 

My H is an annul retentive perfectionist. That there Should tell you i never nag him about resting.

[Tiger Lily]

I think all us girls claiming we don't do this is like all the guys who don't pressure their wife for sex and that's not why she is reluctant. No one on here ever admits that. And none of the guys ever admit they let the wife do all the parenting. Let's face it. We are all perfect here (or at least close to it) and it is the "other" who has the probelm. Gender has nothing to do with it.

 

Just for the record, I was being facetious earlier. I couldn't admit to my faults right after MrTurk's post, lol.

 

But yeah, there's always a lot of blame being thrown around, in LS and in real life. Even with this topic, maybe it's not the woman's nagging that's the real problem. Maybe some guys are actually a little lazy, and their wives (or SOs) have reason to get fed up.

[Bruce Leigh]

Ha ha, the reality is that we live in a crazy world, populated with equally crazy people who do some crazy things.

 

Its not limited to gender !!

[M30USA]

OP, your ex might have really been feeling scared that you weren't the "provider" she was hoping for (as unreasonable as she might have been acting in that moment).

 

I think this is the best response yet and the only one which explains why women do this. Women expect men to be the protector and, as irrational as it seems, they panic if their protector is "down" for even 15 minutes. It's like their primitive fears kick in which say, "Oh no! Who will protect me while he's asleep! I need to wake him up! Come on! Get up!"

Edited May 18, 2014 by M30USA

[M30USA]

This article is written by a woman and says it all:

 

WHY DO WOMEN BEGRUDGE MEN A NAP? | LISA'S BLOG

[M30USA]

The article above says that men view the home as a refuge and place of rest; while women view the home as a worksite. This says it all. I've finally comprehended this.

[Tiger Lily]

I think this is the best response yet and the only one which explains why women do this. Women expect men to be the protector and, as irrational as it seems, they panic if their protector is "down" for even 15 minutes. It's like their primitive fears kick in which say, "Oh no! Who will protect me while he's asleep! I need to wake him up! Come on! Get up!"

 

This article is written by a woman and says it all:

 

WHY DO WOMEN BEGRUDGE MEN A NAP? | LISA'S BLOG

 

 

I like that article . As the author wrote in the article, I think if men take some time to relax, but the wife knows there will be an end and her man will help her once again, she can probably be a little more at ease.

 

 

IMO, for those of us who struggle with this topic, women need to remember that God is our only true, unfailing protector, and our husbands can't be everything to us. And I think we have to remember that we're called to love our spouse (with patience and long-suffering), so it's important to not nitpick every little thing.

 

 

And I think men could maybe remember that their wife wants to feel protected and provided for, so if he spends time making her feel that way throughout the week, I'm sure she'll be more likely to relax when he wants some downtime.

 

 

Good thread, OP!

[Phoe]

I've got the opposite problem.

 

I try to get him to rest and he won't! He works too damn hard, exhausts himself, and still wants to put up a fight when I try to get him to just get in bed and rest.

 

 

Very frustrating.

[M30USA]

I've got the opposite problem.

 

I try to get him to rest and he won't! He works too damn hard, exhausts himself, and still wants to put up a fight when I try to get him to just get in bed and rest.

 

 

Very frustrating.

 

Eh, I've heard women say this. But if he truly stopped working hard and started resting more, can you truly say with all honesty that you wouldn't be on his ass to get this or that done? Not to offend but I think you have what I'd call a "luxury frustration". Maybe your man works so hard because he knows from prior women what happens when he doesn't work hard.

[M30USA]

Here's how it all sums up:

 

When a man takes a nap at home (other than his alloted 6 hours sleep per night), a woman views this as sleeping on company time. Literally. Men, you need to understand this. Home may be your resting place, but your woman views it as a business site.

[Phoe]

Eh, I've heard women say this. But if he truly stopped working hard and started resting more, can you truly say with all honesty that you wouldn't be on his ass to get this or that done? Not to offend but I think you have what I'd call a "luxury frustration". Maybe your man works so hard because he knows from prior women what happens when he doesn't work hard.

 

No, it's not a luxury frustration, the hell is that nonsense?

 

 

It's maddening when he works 12 hour days 6 days a week, comes home with heat exhaustion, gets hospitalized, is not taking care of himself and risking his health.

 

 

How do you think it feels getting a call saying he was found passed out inside his truck?

 

 

I try to get him to rest. To take a day off. To take care of himself, get enough sleep, take it easy, and it's met with refusals.

 

 

3 times in 6 months he's had heat stroke and ended up in urgent care. That sh*t scares me to death, meanwhile you have the gall to DARE brush aside my post and insinuate that I'm just some careless woman who talks out her ass, as if the only thing any woman knows how to do is nag at a man to get this and that done. F**king disgusting. The sh*t some people come up with on this forum absolutely nauseates me sometimes.

[lollipopspot]

Here's how it all sums up:

 

When a man takes a nap at home (other than his alloted 6 hours sleep per night), a woman views this as sleeping on company time. Literally. Men, you need to understand this. Home may be your resting place, but your woman views it as a business site.

 

This is your world, not mine. I think sometimes people find and attract in the world what they expect. I was with a guy who was a workaholic and I hated it. The home was not a "business site" for me, and I wasn't looking to take advantage of him financially or otherwise. Not everyone lives is the weird, controlling world you imagine.

[Tiger Lily]

Here's how it all sums up:

 

When a man takes a nap at home (other than his alloted 6 hours sleep per night), a woman views this as sleeping on company time. Literally. Men, you need to understand this. Home may be your resting place, but your woman views it as a business site.

 

 

 

Women want to relax at home too! I view my home as a refuge after a long day at work. But things need to be done. If you live alone now, you realize that a home requires maintenance. You may have a different idea of "proper maintenance" than your ex, but either way, it takes work.

[Omei]

Here's how it all sums up:

 

When a man takes a nap at home (other than his alloted 6 hours sleep per night), a woman views this as sleeping on company time. Literally. Men, you need to understand this. Home may be your resting place, but your woman views it as a business site.

 

I've seen this yes, its total crazy!!!

People should be able to sleep whenever they want to or feel like it, its free will.

 

I could understand sleeping through plans.

[veritas lux mea]

I do wonder at the world some men live in in this world where they are so wonderful and giving and their wives heartless divas who take, take, take. I have seen it and I see it as deeply dysfunctional relationships where I want to tell the guy to grow a pair and the woman to be such a hypocrite. But I see men who do absolutely nothing and sit around and visit while their wives work their butts off. And both will work out of the home. But most people I know have reasonable explanations for this.

 

I too have a husband who works too much and sometimes gets overwhelmed.

 

And no I am not a perfect wife. I had an affair and that is all on me. Unrelated but trying to sat I have no reason to paint myself in a good light. I have already committed the unforgivable sin in a relationship on here.

[bubbaganoosh]

I was self employed for 35 years and worked outside so I had to make every day count from Late March until the weather got too bad and I had to shut down for the winter so most of the time it was 7 days aw week and when I would shut down for the winter around the first week in December, I was worn out and was prime to get sick and about a month after Christmas I got the flu like I never had before. The kind where you get a fever and your freezing and have every blanket in the house wrapped around you and all I needed was to just get some rest and sleep.

 

Well three days became five and the fever finally broke but I barely had enough strength to get out of bed and when I did, I felt so lousy that I went back in and laid down.

 

I was then accused of being lazy by my now ex wife and my mother in law showed up with (you guessed it) chicken soup and saw me on the couch looking like death on a soda cracker, my wife then accused me of faking it.

 

Thought my mother in law was going to hit her with the container of soup. She called her daughter every name under the sun and told her to make her selfish ass useful for a change grow up.

 

Payback came about two months later. The woman got sick as a dog and when she finally crawled out of bed and came into the kitchen around noon, I made her a cup of hot tea and asked if she would like some toast and she said no because her belly was still queasy so that was my signal to sit down and eat a plate of pickled herring and then had a second helping. The last I saw of her the rest of the day was when she was heading back to bed. Guess the herring was a bit overboard but at least I didn't call her lazy although she was and didn't say she was faking it.

[FitChick]

I don't see men napping as a problem unless they are lazy slobs. I like to nap. I'd probably lie down next to him or take advantage of the alone time to do things around the house without being disturbed.

[M30USA]

Honestly I don't expect a lot from a wife. My ex wife even TOLD me this. She said, "You don't need anything!" But what I do need is peace and quiet. I'm only going to live a few decades on this planet so I at least want some peace.

[thefooloftheyear]

Here's how it all sums up:

 

When a man takes a nap at home (other than his alloted 6 hours sleep per night), a woman views this as sleeping on company time. Literally. Men, you need to understand this. Home may be your resting place, but your woman views it as a business site.

 

Nah....

 

Because i have been self ermployed basically my whole life, and anyone who runs a small business will attest, you work a lot of hours...Even now, when I have achieved financial independence and dont have to work very hard, I still do anyway,,,,12 hour days -6 days a week and a few hours on Sunday...

 

My wife never hassled me about it...In fact, she'd usually make sure my kid didnt bother me, turned off the phone ringers and bring a drink or a blanket..

 

I dont blame her...Even a race car needs to pit once in a while...

 

TFY

[Untouched]

I don't know about all of you, but in my family and all the others I've known I have never heard of a woman getting mad at her husband if he were sick. If my father was sick, he was sick, and my mother, having the traditional caretaker role, took care of him. She also took care of us if we were sick. EVEN IF SHE WAS SICK. And if she was sick, my father went to work. Nobody took care of her, and she still did take care of us.

 

And also, if any of the men came home and found their wife taking a nap … well, that just would never happen. Or vice versa.