Hate to say this but co worker STINKS

[KathyM]

I ran quick look see on line and yeah there are few med conditions that can cause this issue ( that makes whole thing extra sensitive )

I seem to make this more and more complicated but damn it is complicated thing.

 

 

How do you work with someone that makes you wanna vomit!!!!

then go and say that to them or HR you know what I mean ?

But I'll have to do it I can't take whole summer of that I CAN'T

Most likely, it's a medical problem that is causing the odor, rather than lack of hygiene. Maybe she has had a colonoscopy and had to have a part of her bowels removed, and has to wear a bag on her to collect her sh*t. I could see that would create a noticeable odor, which she cannot change about herself. She may have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) which creates a lot of intestinal problems which could cause the odor. Maybe she has chronic constipation, diarrhea, or other gastrointestinal problems that cause the noticeable smell. Most likely this woman is aware of it and is very embarrassed by it. I would not suggest embarrassing her even more by reporting her to HR. In the chance that there is something she could do to prevent the problem, maybe you could start a delicate discussion wherein you maybe take her to lunch and start mentioning diet, and how you feel a lot better now that you've been adding Activia (or probiotics or whatever you want to mention) to your diet, and ask her about her diet. Maybe she's eating some really bloating, binding, or gas producing things that contribute to the smell. Get her talking about diet in general and maybe you can find out what issues she has, and maybe give her some suggestions on how she can make some changes in diet. I think that would be the most sensitive thing to do. Telling her she stinks, or complaining to HR about it, would likely hurt her feelings and embarrass her terribly.

[preraph]

I've noticed some women with young babies smell like diaper. If that's not it, she very well may have some cologne on that turns bad on her. That happened to my sister, and since she couldn't smell herself, she got mad anytime me or my mom told her about it and just thought we were being pissy. She may just have bad BO and need to exfoliate and bathe like twice a day. First opportunity, I'd foist a bath kit on her that included something like Neutrogena bath gel and a body scrub. Like at Christmas or whatever holiday you can find quickly.

 

Other than that, it is a problem for HR.

[bluegreen]

Hm baby this I had not thought of but it is like poop smell

[preraph]

^ Poop smell can just take over a house and cling to everyone there. Hopefully, most people don't let that happen, but I know growing up my friend's home (and the dad was a doctor!) always smelled like poop when there was a new baby around. I remember once someone in retail was around a baby in their home and started smelling bad. It wasn't even their baby.

 

How old is this lady? I mean, it doesn't matter for the baby thing because could be her grandbaby, but old people (don't yell at me -- I am one) can start having bad smells unless they exfoliate off the dead skin. Usually that's a different smell than poop though.

[bluegreen]

God no why would I yell at you

Hm early to mid 30 I would say no more then that.

[lollipopspot]

I would not suggest embarrassing her even more by reporting her to HR. In the chance that there is something she could do to prevent the problem, maybe you could start a delicate discussion...

 

I agree the more sensitive thing would be to talk to her directly. But I would not beat around the bush so much by talking about diet and trying to figure out what the problem is oneself. You may never figure that out - she needs to know how she is affecting people so that she can go to a doctor, or come out herself and say what the problem is, if necessary. I think being much more direct would be the most helpful, efficient, and even sensitive thing to do, because a lot of people won't get the hint.

 

But if OP doesn't feel able to do that, then maybe someone in HR can begin a more sensitive discussion (one hopes).

 

I think if I were the stinky person, I would want to know. If it were a medical thing that I could not change, that would feel pretty bad though.

[bluegreen]

Most likely, it's a medical problem that is causing the odor, rather than lack of hygiene. Maybe she has had a colonoscopy and had to have a part of her bowels removed, and has to wear a bag on her to collect her sh*t. I could see that would create a noticeable odor, which she cannot change about herself. She may have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) which creates a lot of intestinal problems which could cause the odor. Maybe she has chronic constipation, diarrhea, or other gastrointestinal problems that cause the noticeable smell. Most likely this woman is aware of it and is very embarrassed by it. I would not suggest embarrassing her even more by reporting her to HR. In the chance that there is something she could do to prevent the problem, maybe you could start a delicate discussion wherein you maybe take her to lunch and start mentioning diet, and how you feel a lot better now that you've been adding Activia (or probiotics or whatever you want to mention) to your diet, and ask her about her diet. Maybe she's eating some really bloating, binding, or gas producing things that contribute to the smell. Get her talking about diet in general and maybe you can find out what issues she has, and maybe give her some suggestions on how she can make some changes in diet. I think that would be the most sensitive thing to do. Telling her she stinks, or complaining to HR about it, would likely hurt her feelings and embarrass her terribly.

 

 

 

 

I am aware of this ma'm and I did some net searching as well.

Issue is I have to work like few feet away from her !!!!

Am not even sure how I managed not to gag or vomit on first day and my biggest fear is that I will.

If not me someone else will I have no doubt about it.

[regine_phalange]

That's tough. I don't think I would be able to say anything, because it's possible that she has some medical condition. I don't always breathe from my nose, but when I do, I catch all kinds of smells. Sometimes I can even smell sickness, eg. when someone is diabetic.

 

I would wear some freshly washed scarf around my neck, keep my freshly washed hair near my face, or something of the like, so I could mainly smell myself. Tell her that you also get dizzy if someone stands too close to you, so when you work together you will have some distance.

[Baller25]

Am not even sure how I managed not to gag or vomit on first day and my biggest fear is that I will.

If not me someone else will I have no doubt about it.

 

Maybe you should, at least the hint will then come across.

 

I dated this cute girl that developed a bad stank 'down there' that smelled just like poop, like she didn't wipe up properly or something. Because it was only myself that would notice it I had to tell her, and her reaction went from embarrassment to denial and then to ignorance. Eventually I built up a resentment towards her and long story short she was the first girl I broke up with. My point is, if you don't solve it not then you will hate this poor woman over something as small as smelling bad.

[KathyM]

I work in a clinic, and some of the clients have hygiene issues and gas issues that can be pretty bad at times. I also used to work as a volunteer at a nursing home. The smell can get pretty bad. I carry around a small can of nicely scented air freshener that is good at getting rid of unpleasant smells, and discretely spray it in the room as needed. If it's possible to open a window by your desk, that would also be good.

[Yasuandio]

Having had IBS situation myself, I have been thinking about this post carefully. I get to the bottom line. If the IBS is like what I have experienced at the worst of my anxiety - it goes something like this (don't read if you cannot handle reality of illness):

 

Whenever I eat or drink something, in minutes, it is ready to pour through me like a sive. Liquidy and slight bit of feces. Most of the time it is not painful - but sometimes, it can be. It is blackish-brown in color - and the foulest, enimic, amonia-like, eye-watering, most rank smell feces you can ever imagine, worse than a dead body. It seems the smell just goes out all around you, even though your fanny is sealed on the toilet. You can and flush, but the smell stays. Lighting a match doesn't work on this terrible smell. After a go round of this, I usually have to go right back, rinse and repeat - until my system emties out. My doctor also refers to this condition as "dumping." It splatters all over the place inside the toilet bowl, and back up onto your fanny. It is a big clean up job.

 

If someone has this, and is not bathing their fanny afterwards, they could be carrying around this terrible smell. It took me a while to figure out - what the hell - my fanny feels wet. Then I got it. We humans sometimes have hair on our fannies as well. That is another way this liquid feces can be trapped on your body.

 

When you are surrounded by that hidious smell, and think you have it all cleaned up - a fastidious person like me, still feels like I smell like feces. I feel like my house smells like feces - after reading a post here - so Im really cleaning today - cause I am having a minor situation with the "dumping.". I have been checked over and tested - there is nothing wrong with me - it is psychological, and created by anxiety, period.

 

There are many types of IBS. But the kind I just described sounds kind of similar to what OP is talking about in terms of disgustingness in smell. Nothing like a normal bowel movement - holding one of those in your hand in like getting ready to bite into a Ballpark Frank compared to what OP and I are talking about. It is not a matter of just sucking it up due to hygiene - it is something far worse and more sinister. It is like the effing devil spewing from your azz. Does this familiar OP?

---------

If so, I will make a few suggestions. First of all, notice I am using terminology other than ****, stinks, blah, blah. That puts a more medical spin on it (believe me, I do have a sailor mouth - especially when I'm about to run to the toilet with the IBS). Saying she STINKS, smells like she rolled in ****, etc., is confusing.

 

I'm starting to think maybe I smell like I've been rolling in **** after reading this thread - so it is even affecting me, and I am fortunate to be on disability. And it began with this very symptom. I experienced this urgency in the car on the way to work. Sometimes, it was too late, and it happen in the car. If I got to the bathroom, it was really embarrassing the smell. And then I'd feel it coming again at a meeting. I had to begin not feeding myself any food or drink the day before work to avoid symptoms. There were a few hours of a window where I could take the chance.

 

The other problem can be, if a little gas escapes, which happens to all of us, if the slightest tiny bit of that nasty fluid happens to slip out, it curtains. You will definitively smell this problematic liquid feces. if you let off a fart, and there is liquid feces in your system, you will be sitting in it.

 

Therefore:

 

1. This woman evidently has feces on her body somewhere.

 

2. It is possible that her feces (bodily fluids) can transfer through her clothing (via gas or lack of hygiene) onto upolerted furniture - and you may not see it.

 

3. As another poster mentioned, the air people are breathing in the office is compromised.

 

4. As was my situation, I did not realize right away that the liquid feces was spattering onto my big fat fanny, then onto my underwear. She may not have put that together either. (Listen, I am not a slug pig, I just didn't know. It is such a drama just to get the basic area cleaned up afterwards).

 

5. If I smelled like feces, I would want someone to tell me. I would rather they use "real" terminology - rather than saying, "excuse me, but you sort of smell like ****." That can mean anything.

 

6. If she is sick, she has to face it. Sometimes an illness prevents you from being in the workplace. That is why disability was invented.

 

7. I am thankful for this post - as perhaps I may have some smells in my home that others can smell - but I've grown accustomed to. No one really comes in my house - so I do not really know for sure. But when IT happens, OMG, the rank smell can take up the whole first floor of my house, no kidding. Even with door shut, and toilet seat down! I'm going to have to come up with some alternate solutions, since I do have 2 baths upstairs, one with a closing door to bath. This may be the situation for this worker as well. She simple doesn't smell it - cause her envirnment carries the smell.

 

8. It is very difficult to speak out on something like this. If you go to HR, go together with someone else. Another way this can be handled is anonymously - with a letter to HR, the woman, or the Department of Health Services. The latter may be in order, since HR allowed this person to have the job with this issue: clearly a health department concern or violation, in all likelihood. Testing for presence of feces is very simple two step chemical procedure. The Health Department WILL show up. Tell them in the letter what to test (where her bottom has been), in the letter, apriori. Sign it, concerned citizens, and say nothing.

 

I hope this helps you guys understand how and why someone might have a bad feces smell. I would just talk to her straight. Tell her you are smelling feces when you are around her, and you are not feeling well smelling this.

 

Then tell her, "I certainly do not wish to embarrass you, you are a lovely person. But I must direct you attention to a matter of concern." "I don't understand why, but whenever I am near you, I smell a very strong order of feces the feces. (Pause). I will do anything I can to help, just please inform me, so I comprehend." (Pause for reaction). If she is pist, then back off, and say: "for my health, we will have to make a new working arrangments, and I am forced to raise this issue with HR. I'm very sorry, I willing to search and assist you in finding a constructive solution, but if prefer not to face this problem, I understand." then go straight to HR. There is no law against asking a person to try not to smell like feces. But tape record conversation anyway. Yas

 

Those are my thoughts on both sides of equation - with dead accuate honesty and unfortunate experience with a similar issue. Yas

 

PS. If u get her talking, and IBS is the case, thru trial and error, I have found these items help me keep food down, or at least substitute food and water during episodes:

 

Cold, black or green iced tea with sweet and low (no sugar at all in diet), 2 scrambled eggs - plain, turkey bacon, bread or toast with butter (not margarine). Keeping bread in the diet really helps - but I find bread to be fattening, so I go for the 40 cal. bread. And when I'm sick - I get some good bread, and it does the trick. That is all I can keep down, after all these years. Recently, I even canceled my first offer for a dinner date since my divorce - for fear of this IBS. I was so nervous doing my hair and getting ready - and then it came on, just from my coffee. Anxiety. Plain and Simple.

 

PSS. Pepto Bismol (Store Brand) can slow it down and help if there is pain.

Edited May 25, 2014 by Yasuandio