CJMac02 Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 This is kind of a doozy. This will be my sisters second divorce although with the first one, I don't believe she really did much. Her ex-husbands mistress basically filed the divorce for her when she moved to SC to live with us. This time, she's filing for divorce. It's something that we all saw coming, perhaps before they even eloped. The family has never truly accepted my brother-in-law anyway and as my aunt said, "She doesn't love him. She cares for him, but she's with him for the sake of the child." Said child is my nephew, a blessing from God. He's another thing that takes this divorce to a whole new playing field. My brother-in-law is most likely going to go back to South Carolina (we move, my sisters follow) and from there he'll try to gain custody and talk big, but in reality, he'll end up with either dual custody or none at all. I think it wounded him emotionally when my nephew told him that he'd rather stay with mommy this afternoon if that tells you anything about where my nephews heart is. Anyways, what advice can I give to my sister? I was too young to realize what was going on with her last divorce but I am quite aware and not at all disappointed this time. I would like to encourage her in this matter because I know her marriage has been one unhappy trial after another and I am truly glad for her but I don't want to offend anyone in this... Link to post Share on other sites
KaliKatherine Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 That's great that you want to support your sister through her divorce; however I don't understand through your post why you feel the need to give advice. It's not clear to me that she has sought out counsel from you or asked anything specific of you. Seems to me the best position to take would be a stance of, I love you and am here for you and my nephew...I was a little young to understand or be there for your during your first divorce, but I want to let you know that I've matured since then. Just be available to her, whether that means having a night out to yourselves or perhaps watching your nephew so she can catch a break or whatever. Unsolicited advice even with the best of intentions may be misinterpreted, cause her to question herself unnecessarily, or even worse drive you apart. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Arrange a night out for when her divorce is finalized. Invite her friends and yours and have a girls night out. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Truth comes before family. Be there to support her but don't lie to her just to support her. If you do, you're an enemy of hers. Link to post Share on other sites
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