I'm not making any progress on dating websites!

[Da Lonely 1]

Yeah. They're all crap. I don't know if anybody else hates using them too, but they are a waste of time. I'm only on them because I'm tired of being alone. I'd rarely used them in the past, but when I did, no-one got in touch. How can it be there are loads of members to contact, but nobody cares about replying?

 

I joined Plenty of Fish and one simply called Free Dating to try to overcome my loneliness. Plenty of Fish is free, but there are paid features as well. You can send virtual gifts and all that nonsense. What's the point in paying heaps extra to have some broad have an image of flowers or a wine bottle next to her pretty (or not so pretty) looking face? That is just egotistical and pointless.

 

So I'm contacting some nice looking ladies in my home town, trying to be complimentary and am I getting any response? No. And why is that? Could it be they just like the attention? Then they view my profile but never message me.

 

Keep in mind, there must be truckloads of competition. Like, maybe there are men (and women) that are better looking, richer and more athletic, which we all would agree most women are into. I am not really that social nowadays, so I have to take photos of myself pretending to be joyous in the photos. But hey, I'm still being nice and trying to initiate a conversation, only to be ignored.

 

Then I got a message saying someone wanted to meet me. She's some fatty that would probably squash me in bed (if I even got to the meeting stage, which I doubt very few men do). Yet despite supposedly wanting to meet me, she doesn't reply back.

 

I think Plenty of Fish should be renamed to Plenty of Baloney. That's being mild about it. There is nothing good about that site, unless you like torturing yourself.

 

So, what the hell? Are we single gents just going to be alone forever at this rate?

[mammasita]

Do you have any good pictures up? Do you have anything about yourself in your profile?

 

Don't knock it if your own profile isn't ready to hook anything.

[Da Lonely 1]

I have one photo which to me seems decent enough, but I don't know what they'll be thinking when they see it. Like I said, I don't have a social life and so, I don't have more 'natural' looking images to upload, that were captured when I'm at my best. Basically, photos you take of yourself just scream of desperation.

 

 

And for I know, the sites I use could have fake profiles put up to deceive lonely men like myself. I tend not to contact very classy looking women either, as I know the odds of getting with somebody like that is practically null and void. Sad to say.

 

 

I honestly don't get why I'm this alone. Mind you, I don't really do much with my life, so it's little wonder progress is not happening for me. Everything seems like a long shot in itself. I am not very attractive either. I'm skinny, with autism and I wear glasses.

[organizedchaos]

I have one photo which to me seems decent enough, but I don't know what they'll be thinking when they see it. Like I said, I don't have a social life and so, I don't have more 'natural' looking images to upload, that were captured when I'm at my best. Basically, photos you take of yourself just scream of desperation.

 

 

And for I know, the sites I use could have fake profiles put up to deceive lonely men like myself. I tend not to contact very classy looking women either, as I know the odds of getting with somebody like that is practically null and void. Sad to say.

 

 

I honestly don't get why I'm this alone. Mind you, I don't really do much with my life, so it's little wonder progress is not happening for me. Everything seems like a long shot in itself. I am not very attractive either. I'm skinny, with autism and I wear glasses.

 

how old are you?

 

My advice, get off online dating. It's hard enough for most people. Work on a social life first. Get involved in activities. Meet people that way.

[HappyLove]

I notice a trend here of guys who have no luck with the ladies dissing fat women. I mean maybe you should give them a chance. You could meet a great woman who happens to be fat it's better than being lonely and miserable.

[hasaquestion]

I have one photo which to me seems decent enough, but I don't know what they'll be thinking when they see it. Like I said, I don't have a social life and so, I don't have more 'natural' looking images to upload, that were captured when I'm at my best. Basically, photos you take of yourself just scream of desperation.

 

 

And for I know, the sites I use could have fake profiles put up to deceive lonely men like myself. I tend not to contact very classy looking women either, as I know the odds of getting with somebody like that is practically null and void. Sad to say.

 

 

I honestly don't get why I'm this alone. Mind you, I don't really do much with my life, so it's little wonder progress is not happening for me. Everything seems like a long shot in itself. I am not very attractive either. I'm skinny, with autism and I wear glasses.

 

Man I'm gonna be straight with you. You start with "I don't have a social life" and then ask about how to find women???

 

That's like saying "I'm really iron deficient. What should I do about my anemia?"

[hasaquestion]

I notice a trend here of guys who have no luck with the ladies dissing fat women. I mean maybe you should give them a chance. You could meet a great woman who happens to be fat it's better than being lonely and miserable.

 

Nothing wrong with preferences. Height, weight, etc.

 

I think what you're getting at, and I agree with, is that some men don't realize that they are the male equivalent of "fat women". A lack of perspective which both makes their dating life a mess and handicaps them from seeing what they actually need to do to improve it.

[normal person]

Yeah. They're all crap. I don't know if anybody else hates using them too, but they are a waste of time. I'm only on them because I'm tired of being alone. I'd rarely used them in the past, but when I did, no-one got in touch. How can it be there are loads of members to contact, but nobody cares about replying?

 

Are you only on them because you're tired of being alone, or are you only on them because you're tired of not having success in real life too? If you have trouble meeting people in real life, what makes you think doing it online is going to be so much easier?

 

So I'm contacting some nice looking ladies in my home town, trying to be complimentary and am I getting any response? No. And why is that? Could it be they just like the attention? Then they view my profile but never message me.

 

So you think the whole process is easy as complimenting someone and them therefore being obligated to contact you and then go out with you? Let me ask you this: if a women is at a bar, and some random guy tells her she's beautiful, the social graces of being in person might compel her to say "thanks." But is she obligated to pay him any more attention simply because he wants hers? You're saying she doesn't have a choice??? Being online just makes ignoring an undesired compliment easier for a girl.

 

Keep in mind, there must be truckloads of competition. Like, maybe there are men (and women) that are better looking, richer and more athletic, which we all would agree most women are into. I am not really that social nowadays, so I have to take photos of myself pretending to be joyous in the photos. But hey, I'm still being nice and trying to initiate a conversation, only to be ignored.

 

So basically you're saying "There's tons of competition and they're probably all better than me, but I still insist on playing so therefore I should win." Do you see how ridiculous this is?

 

(if I even got to the meeting stage, which I doubt very few men do).

Plenty do.

 

So, what the hell? Are we single gents just going to be alone forever at this rate?

 

No offense but your whole post is rampant with entitlement. Did you honestly just expect to make a profile and have that be enough? Your profile is still going to be indicative of who you are as person. Your job, your passions, your intellect, your looks -- all the stuff that other people consider when looking for potential partner -- are scrutinized just as much as in real life, perhaps more so. So what exactly do you bring to the marketplace? What is it about you that's appealing that you're hoping women women will like? What have you worked for, accomplished, displayed, etc?

 

The people who seem to be successful with OLD typically are the ones who would be successful meeting people in real life but don't have the time or the the opportunity. You seem like you might think all you have to do is make an online dating profile and that will somehow be the magic bullet for all your shortcomings. Before you go and blame the technology (which many people have had great success with), why don't you take a step back, look at what you're offering other people and think about why they would or wouldn't want to talk/meet with you. Online or otherwise.

[Leeway Harris]

I'll tell you, I was with you until the "some fatty who would probably squash me in bed" comment."

 

I do sympathize, but you need to get some perspective here. You're asking why certain women don't respond to you. You got a message from a woman, and you didn't respond to her. You're under no obligation to, of course. But if you ask yourself why you didn't respond to her, that's your answer. That's why the women you wanted to hear from didn't respond to you. They had a certain idea of what they were looking for, and according to your profile, you weren't it. It's as simple as that.

 

Keeping that in mind might give you a little more understanding and compassion for the other people on the site. You still don't have to meet anyone you're not attracted to, but you don't have to dismiss anyone as "a fatty who would probably squash me in bed" either.

[Da Lonely 1]

I did respond to her.

 

 

As for the other points, well, if you hand in a badly written C.V. for a job interview, then the employer would rip it up. So I guess on an online dating site that without making an effort, you could perhaps not be afforded the same effort back, but I didn't see that what I was doing was anything not normal.

[normal person]

I did respond to her.

 

 

As for the other points, well, if you hand in a badly written C.V. for a job interview, then the employer would rip it up. So I guess on an online dating site that without making an effort, you could perhaps not be afforded the same effort back, but I didn't see that what I was doing was anything not normal.

 

Yeah, plenty of people have terrible profiles and probably aren't worth dating (yes, that's subjective). That's probably why you hear so many complaints about how hard it is. The people who are smart enough to stand out in a crowd and/or have some marketable attractive quality are the ones who are going to have the most success. They aren't the ones complaining.

 

Say it was job interview, who would get the job? The most qualified person with the best the C.V. or the person with most forgettable "normal" one?

[hasaquestion]

I did respond to her.

 

 

As for the other points, well, if you hand in a badly written C.V. for a job interview, then the employer would rip it up. So I guess on an online dating site that without making an effort, you could perhaps not be afforded the same effort back, but I didn't see that what I was doing was anything not normal.

 

So what do YOU bring to the table?

 

Why should a girl who has options choose you? What about you is distinctly attractive, impressive, and likeable?

 

Why is your profile not a "badly written resume" in this analogy?

 

Oh and by the way, its a very bad look to talk junk about the one lady who wanted to meet you. I don't care what she looks like. If you are struggling with dating why are you acting like people are beneath you? Check the scoreboard.

[organizedchaos]

So what do YOU bring to the table?

 

Why should a girl who has options choose you? What about you is distinctly attractive, impressive, and likeable?

 

Why is your profile not a "badly written resume" in this analogy?

 

Oh and by the way, its a very bad look to talk junk about the one lady who wanted to meet you. I don't care what she looks like. If you are struggling with dating why are you acting like people are beneath you? Check the scoreboard.

 

In fairness, he did disclose he has autism. So that could be a factor in his social skills.

[Da Lonely 1]

I lost two female support workers for going over the boundaries. It's a long story. And the only girlfriend I ever had besides one other one I had quite briefly, used me. To make matters worse, this all happened after I'd spent years trying to hook up with her again. So maybe you can see why I've got an added sense of desperation all of a sudden, because I hate using escorts when my willy won't work. However, I've had people elsewhere saying I should only date women who also have autism.

 

 

Um, why? It should be a playing field that is equal. Now, I half agree, but I also have to disagree.

 

 

Wheelchair bound women for example can still reproduce, have successful relationships and get on with their lives happily in spite of their physical handicap. Basically why I'm saying this is, some random person on another site said to me that autism is not a trait coveted by most women and while that could be the case sadly, it's the same thing as discriminating someone and saying they'll never have the same chances due to what they have wrong with them, when autistic people can indeed be brainy people. While I try to take advice on forums with a pinch of salt, I think people are unaware that autistic people can have good traits and autism itself isn't a trait, as such.

[El Brujo]

You pretty much answered your own question.

[topaMAXX]

Yeah, plenty of people have terrible profiles and probably aren't worth dating (yes, that's subjective). That's probably why you hear so many complaints about how hard it is. The people who are smart enough to stand out in a crowd and/or have some marketable attractive quality are the ones who are going to have the most success. They aren't the ones complaining.

 

Say it was job interview, who would get the job? The most qualified person with the best the C.V. or the person with most forgettable "normal" one?

 

I disagree with this.

 

Personally, I do very well at bars and clubs. I do very poorly on OLD. Luckily, I don't eat it or I would be in some trouble.

 

OP, you are doing poorly online like most men. You have two options:

 

1) Learn what works for you (this will likely take many months and tons of effort)

2) Quit and focus on other avenues.

 

I chose option 2. Some of my friends chose option 1 and are doing pretty well online.

[Koopa]

Try the "tinder" app its the new popular app and there are a lot of beautiful girls on there, it connects to your facebook (they never post anything on it) and it will say if you have friends in common. You can only send messages to girls if you both "like" each other, its kinda addicting.

[Potz4prez]

Works, too.

 

Online dating is a waste. Tinder is fun and low investment. Other than that, just stick to meeting girls IRL.

[mario_C]

We need to consolidate all the O.L.D. "waste of time vs. greatest thing ever" threads. /unsolicitedadvice

[Koopa]

We need to consolidate all the O.L.D. "waste of time vs. greatest thing ever" threads. /unsolicitedadvice

 

It depends where you live I think, when I lived in Dallas I had no luck but when I moved down to Austin area all of a sudden I started having a lot of luck. Maybe it has something to do with the female to male ratio and there are a lot more more people in my age group in this area too.

[organizedchaos]

We need to consolidate all the O.L.D. "waste of time vs. greatest thing ever" threads. /unsolicitedadvice

 

and I think it should be required for all posts that bi*** and moan about it, the OP must post up their profile text for constructive criticism.

[FitChick]

I'm pretty sure there is at least one dating site for autistic people. Google it.

[irc333]

Don't feel bad, a lot of people aren't having much success with online dating as it's pretty much a commonplace.

 

With people having access to SO many people and so many profiles, it becomes a shopping catalog mentality.

 

 

 

Yeah. They're all crap. I don't know if anybody else hates using them too, but they are a waste of time. I'm only on them because I'm tired of being alone. I'd rarely used them in the past, but when I did, no-one got in touch. How can it be there are loads of members to contact, but nobody cares about replying?

 

I joined Plenty of Fish and one simply called Free Dating to try to overcome my loneliness. Plenty of Fish is free, but there are paid features as well. You can send virtual gifts and all that nonsense. What's the point in paying heaps extra to have some broad have an image of flowers or a wine bottle next to her pretty (or not so pretty) looking face? That is just egotistical and pointless.

 

So I'm contacting some nice looking ladies in my home town, trying to be complimentary and am I getting any response? No. And why is that? Could it be they just like the attention? Then they view my profile but never message me.

 

Keep in mind, there must be truckloads of competition. Like, maybe there are men (and women) that are better looking, richer and more athletic, which we all would agree most women are into. I am not really that social nowadays, so I have to take photos of myself pretending to be joyous in the photos. But hey, I'm still being nice and trying to initiate a conversation, only to be ignored.

 

Then I got a message saying someone wanted to meet me. She's some fatty that would probably squash me in bed (if I even got to the meeting stage, which I doubt very few men do). Yet despite supposedly wanting to meet me, she doesn't reply back.

 

I think Plenty of Fish should be renamed to Plenty of Baloney. That's being mild about it. There is nothing good about that site, unless you like torturing yourself.

 

So, what the hell? Are we single gents just going to be alone forever at this rate?

[irc333]

Forget online dating....go to Meetup.com...where people actually interact in real life, and meet the same women in person who didn't respond to your emails online. LOL!

[Teraskas]

While I agree that the majority of OLD is a waste of time, I'd ask you to reconsider and visit one of the "smaller" and privately owned sites.

 

For instance, there's this Belgian datingsite called Tesamen.org (Or together.org) where it shows on a woman's profile whether or not she replies to the messages which she receives. I generally tend to steer clear of the ones where it says no.

The owners of that site say that even if you're not interested, you should let the other person know.

However, the catch for both women and men is that after NOT replying to 3 consecutive messages (be it from the same person or different), a contact restriction is imposed.

That way he/she is unable to contact other people on that site on his/her own initiative.

This restriction is lifed once they send an actual response to one of the received messages.