I'm not making any progress on dating websites!

[Da Lonely 1]

Sara (my former key worker) blocked me on Facebook after I sent a heartfelt apology. Honestly here, who the heck needs that?

 

 

As for dating sites...

 

 

I really may just have to accept I'm too socially inept to make any worthy profile for a woman to like.

[normal person]

 

I really may just have to accept I'm too socially inept to make any worthy profile for a woman to like.

 

I don't know if it's necessarily ineptitude. But you actually need some feathers in your cap that will impress women. What have you done with your life? What are you hoping they'll be impressed with or attracted to? You need something that women like on display, and it's not necessarily just a bunch of words.

 

So what is about you that you're leaning on? Are you successful? Funny? Charismatic? Strong? Musical? Creative? Talented? Anything? Ask yourself what you've been working on your whole life and explain your passion for that.

[ZipperZapper]

While I agree that the majority of OLD is a waste of time, I'd ask you to reconsider and visit one of the "smaller" and privately owned sites.

 

For instance, there's this Belgian datingsite called Tesamen.org (Or together.org) where it shows on a woman's profile whether or not she replies to the messages which she receives. I generally tend to steer clear of the ones where it says no.

The owners of that site say that even if you're not interested, you should let the other person know.

However, the catch for both women and men is that after NOT replying to 3 consecutive messages (be it from the same person or different), a contact restriction is imposed.

That way he/she is unable to contact other people on that site on his/her own initiative.

This restriction is lifed once they send an actual response to one of the received messages.

 

That's a great idea, because it will stop women from using OLD as a way to get ego-boosts or attention without reciprocating, which wastes men's time and is grossly unfair, to say nothing of rude.

 

I wish more OLD sites would enforce policies like that, but OLD operators aren't interested in helping people, they just want to profit off people's misery.

[ZipperZapper]

Yeah. They're all crap. I don't know if anybody else hates using them too, but they are a waste of time. I'm only on them because I'm tired of being alone. I'd rarely used them in the past, but when I did, no-one got in touch. How can it be there are loads of members to contact, but nobody cares about replying?

 

I joined Plenty of Fish and one simply called Free Dating to try to overcome my loneliness. Plenty of Fish is free, but there are paid features as well. You can send virtual gifts and all that nonsense. What's the point in paying heaps extra to have some broad have an image of flowers or a wine bottle next to her pretty (or not so pretty) looking face? That is just egotistical and pointless.

 

So I'm contacting some nice looking ladies in my home town, trying to be complimentary and am I getting any response? No. And why is that? Could it be they just like the attention? Then they view my profile but never message me.

 

Keep in mind, there must be truckloads of competition. Like, maybe there are men (and women) that are better looking, richer and more athletic, which we all would agree most women are into. I am not really that social nowadays, so I have to take photos of myself pretending to be joyous in the photos. But hey, I'm still being nice and trying to initiate a conversation, only to be ignored.

 

Then I got a message saying someone wanted to meet me. She's some fatty that would probably squash me in bed (if I even got to the meeting stage, which I doubt very few men do). Yet despite supposedly wanting to meet me, she doesn't reply back.

 

I think Plenty of Fish should be renamed to Plenty of Baloney. That's being mild about it. There is nothing good about that site, unless you like torturing yourself.

 

So, what the hell? Are we single gents just going to be alone forever at this rate?

 

I gave up online dating quite a while ago. Occasionally, I could garner

a rare date via OLD, but it rarely went beyond one or two dates.

 

Here are some basic rules that apply to online dating:

 

1. If you are a guy, online dating only works if you have movie-star looks,

are six feet tall or better, and it helps if you can display significant

wealth. If you don't believe this point, consider the study that

OKCupid did and found that women find 80% of male profiles on

the OKC dating site to be unattractive. I would hazard a guess

that a fair number of men who have good photos and have put

effort into writing a good profile fall into that 80%.

 

2. Online dating works for women because it gives them total choice and

total control. Men are just unworthy supplicants unless they meet

criteria number one above.

 

3. Women can be considerably unattractive and still get dates via

online dating. Because such women go for the top 20% of the

guys on OLD, and end up having sex with them, they get a distorted

idea of their true worth in the dating arena. Women will accept being

with an alpha guy knowing they can't keep him, but they won't

accept being with a beta guy, even if they are beta females themselves.

This usually causes the women to be hyper-picky, because once they've

been with an alpha guy they want to replicate the experience in hopes

they will find an alpha male who will keep them.

 

4. OLD sites are not designed with the idea of actually helping people

succeed. They're there to make money, and OLD operators don't

care who they screw over in the process or how they do it. Customers

who succeed and find partners are generally people who don't return,

and therefore make no money for the site operators. Better to keep

their customers unsatisfied and continually coming back in the vain

hopes that maybe this time will be the one they finally meet someone.

 

5. People who succeed on OLD sites, are those who usually have no

difficulty finding partners in real life, because they are physically

attractive people. OLD is just another venue that assists them if

they have little time to go scouting in the real world.

 

6. Women use OLD sites to get ego-boosts and attention. They don't

care that they've caused hundreds of guys to spend time and effort

crafting an email response, never knowing that it will never be

answered. All that matters to them is their own selfish wants.

 

7. OLD sites are generally fraudulent because they are rife with fake

profiles. Not all of these profiles come from Nigerian scammers.

OKCupid was recently caught out for manufacturing fake profiles

to pad their numbers. It's estimated that as many as 40% of the

profiles on OKC are fake. Many profiles are also expired and endlessly

recycled.

 

8. If you want to destroy your self-esteem, OLD is a good way to do it.

 

As for me, I've given up trying to find out why I can't find a partner. So I expect to remain alone for the rest of my days. It's just the way things are, there's nothing I can do about it. So I will focus my efforts on more productive things and try to make the best of the (metaphorically speaking) long, cold winter night that awaits until I shuffle off this mortal coil.

[normal person]

 

1. If you are a guy, online dating only works if you have movie-star looks,

are six feet tall or better, and it helps if you can display significant

wealth. If you don't believe this point, consider the study that

OKCupid did and found that women find 80% of male profiles on

the OKC dating site to be unattractive. I would hazard a guess

that a fair number of men who have good photos and have put

effort into writing a good profile fall into that 80%.

 

I've got to disagree here. I'm 5'10", thin, and not a movie star. I don't list my income. I've got a very steady stream of women getting in touch with me on Match and OKC. And think about this: women finding 80% of the profiles unattractive seems like a low percentage. How discriminatory are men in real life, just as much? More so? I wouldn't go out with 95% of the women on there. 20% seems like men have got a decent shot.

 

2. Online dating works for women because it gives them total choice and

total control. Men are just unworthy supplicants unless they meet

criteria number one above.

 

Saying "unworthy" implies that there's unnecessarily harsh judgment on the part of the girl. It seems to me like a lot of guys like the OP just make profiles and then get struck with the realization that that isn't enough. Merely having a profile isn't going to hide your faults or lack of good qualities, in fact it might highlight them. By definition, most people are just "average." They haven't accomplished a ton or don't have a ton to offer, which is fine, but they don't realize how interchangeable they are with every other person like that on the site. Then you get the complaints that it's only for guys who are 6'+ and some misguided attack on women for being unnecessarily superficial. Is that the case? Or is it that most people just aren't that great? Is it that surprising that people with the most to offer get the most out of it?

 

 

4. OLD sites are not designed with the idea of actually helping people

succeed. They're there to make money, and OLD operators don't

care who they screw over in the process or how they do it. Customers

who succeed and find partners are generally people who don't return,

and therefore make no money for the site operators. Better to keep

their customers unsatisfied and continually coming back in the vain

hopes that maybe this time will be the one they finally meet someone.

 

The company screws you over? That's pretty dubious. If you don't have what it takes to succeed, that's on you. The company is just a brokerage. If a person hasn't worked on anything in his life to make himself appealing, who's fault is that? He could have gone to the gym. He could have gone to med school. There's not much secrecy about what women like. If a guy never chose to put in the work and pursue and embrace those things, then now he has to live with his decision. He screwed himself over through his own inaction.

 

8. If you want to destroy your self-esteem, OLD is a good way to do it.

Assuming your self-esteem is derived from baseless entitlement and not actual desirable traits or accomplishments, then yeah.

 

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about OLD: to be successful with it, you need to actually be desirable in some way. OLD is a great way to highlight all the things you've done to make yourself appealing throughout your life. But if you've never done anything to make yourself more than average, why would you expect better than average results?

[Da Lonely 1]

How long do you get on that site to reply before it kicks you off? I've never heard of such a rule.

[irc333]

I've got to disagree here. I'm 5'10", thin, and not a movie star. I don't list my income. I've got a very steady stream of women getting in touch with me on Match and OKC. And think about this: women finding 80% of the profiles unattractive seems like a low percentage. How discriminatory are men in real life, just as much? More so? I wouldn't go out with 95% of the women on there. 20% seems like men have got a decent shot.

 

I have to say, "Steady stream" that's something that has never been something I've had with women filling my inbox. Chances are, you're in the minority.

 

Chances are you're probably in an age bracket or geographic region where women are less shallow or don't have unrealistic expectations. It had nothing to do with what was presented in your profile.

 

I know women can have a standard, near cliche'd but "nice" garden variety profile and still get TONS of emails coming their way.

 

Where as men, women's eyes just scan for certain buzzwords, they usually check the "Stats" for height, field of work, and of course pictures. (Can't remember other things), but those are what come to mind now.

 

I've done online dating for years, I did have GOOD year once though, so I give myself some credit there.

 

THe ones that DID respond actually complimented me as to they were HIGHLY impressed with my profile/initial email as upon comparison, I pretty much stood out among the numbskulls in the area. It take the ONE rare woman, such as that to give me a shot. They were like , literally. "WOW" when they started of their response to me. So at least I had "wowed" the 2 women last year online. LOL

 

It's funny though, seeing all these women EVERY SINGLE time I see, "I'm not here for one-night stands or FWB's, so please don't email me".

 

But yet, I'm not here for either, but they still don't respond. LOL Ironic. But I'm sure that if one of my BIG selling points that I'm not interested in one-night stands, there has to be more to me I guess. LOL (Just kidding).

 

I remember researching online dating review sites, seems every single complaint was from people having lack of results in even achieving a face-to-face meet.

[Da Lonely 1]

Please see my newest thread. That is all!

[Teraskas]

That's a great idea, because it will stop women from using OLD as a way to get ego-boosts or attention without reciprocating, which wastes men's time and is grossly unfair, to say nothing of rude.

 

I wish more OLD sites would enforce policies like that, but OLD operators aren't interested in helping people, they just want to profit off people's misery.

 

Exactly !

And another aspect of this site is that it's free for people between ages 18 - 30. Once the 30 limit has been reached, it unfortunately becomes a paid site.

Honestly, the "past 30" limit is something which I don't agree with, but oh well.

[normal person]

I have to say, "Steady stream" that's something that has never been something I've had with women filling my inbox. Chances are, you're in the minority.

 

That's the point though. I'm in the minority because I worked to get there. It didn't just happen. I take care of myself. I pay attention to what women like and want and I make sure they see that I have it in my profile. I watch what makes other people successful and implement it into my own life. I study what's uninteresting and off-putting about other profiles and use it to reverse-craft my own. I'm always trying to improve myself. These are the things I attribute the success to. It's not luck.

 

Chances are you're probably in an age bracket or geographic region where women are less shallow or don't have unrealistic expectations. It had nothing to do with what was presented in your profile.

 

Except that I'm 27 and I live in midtown Manhattan. You're telling me girls in their early to mid 20s living in one of the fashion/image capitals of the world aren't shallow and have realistic expectations? And some of the most frequent messages I get say how funny my profile is, how well written it is, questions if I had someone write it for me, and even a girl telling me I should go into business ghost writing profiles for other guys. So don't jump to conclusions just yet.

 

I know women can have a standard, near cliche'd but "nice" garden variety profile and still get TONS of emails coming their way.

 

Where as men, women's eyes just scan for certain buzzwords, they usually check the "Stats" for height, field of work, and of course pictures. (Can't remember other things), but those are what come to mind now.

 

A women's biggest currency is often her looks. A man's is biggest currency is often his ability to provide. If you're a guy you can study your butt off and get into a great school, work hard, and have a great career/money and plenty of women will be interested in you and your success. If you're a girl, there's only so much weight you can lose or so much makeup you can put on. It's not that easily explained but the mobility of men is much easier.

 

Getting back to my point, it seems there are a lot of guys who never seized their opportunities when they had the chance, never invested in themselves, and now they're just bitter. The guys that did seize their opportunities are having all the success. Any surprise?

 

THe ones that DID respond actually complimented me as to they were HIGHLY impressed with my profile/initial email as upon comparison, I pretty much stood out among the numbskulls in the area. It take the ONE rare woman, such as that to give me a shot. They were like , literally. "WOW" when they started of their response to me. So at least I had "wowed" the 2 women last year online. LOL

 

See what I mean? When you have the most to offer (ex: the best message) you can expect the best reward for it (an emphatic response). It's pretty simple. You cannot be average and expect results.

 

It's funny though, seeing all these women EVERY SINGLE time I see, "I'm not here for one-night stands or FWB's, so please don't email me".

 

But yet, I'm not here for either, but they still don't respond. LOL Ironic. But I'm sure that if one of my BIG selling points that I'm not interested in one-night stands, there has to be more to me I guess. LOL (Just kidding).

 

Exactly -- whether or not you're interested in a ONS isn't the only thing about you she's going to consider.

 

So for all guys complaining that they don't have success with OLD, my question is what have you done to earn it?

[hasaquestion]

That's the point though. I'm in the minority because I worked to get there. It didn't just happen. I take care of myself. I pay attention to what women like and want and I make sure they see that I have it in my profile. I watch what makes other people successful and implement it into my own life. I study what's uninteresting and off-putting about other profiles and use it to reverse-craft my own. I'm always trying to improve myself. These are the things I attribute the success to. It's not luck.

 

 

 

Except that I'm 27 and I live in midtown Manhattan. You're telling me girls in their early to mid 20s living in one of the fashion/image capitals of the world aren't shallow and have realistic expectations? And some of the most frequent messages I get say how funny my profile is, how well written it is, questions if I had someone write it for me, and even a girl telling me I should go into business ghost writing profiles for other guys. So don't jump to conclusions just yet.

 

 

 

A women's biggest currency is often her looks. A man's is biggest currency is often his ability to provide. If you're a guy you can study your butt off and get into a great school, work hard, and have a great career/money and plenty of women will be interested in you and your success. If you're a girl, there's only so much weight you can lose or so much makeup you can put on. It's not that easily explained but the mobility of men is much easier.

 

Getting back to my point, it seems there are a lot of guys who never seized their opportunities when they had the chance, never invested in themselves, and now they're just bitter. The guys that did seize their opportunities are having all the success. Any surprise?

 

 

 

See what I mean? When you have the most to offer (ex: the best message) you can expect the best reward for it (an emphatic response). It's pretty simple. You cannot be average and expect results.

 

 

 

Exactly -- whether or not you're interested in a ONS isn't the only thing about you she's going to consider.

 

So for all guys complaining that they don't have success with OLD, my question is what have you done to earn it?

 

I swear you're the only sane person on this website.

[magic.carpet.muncher]

Yeah. They're all crap. I don't know if anybody else hates using them too, but they are a waste of time. I'm only on them because I'm tired of being alone. I'd rarely used them in the past, but when I did, no-one got in touch. How can it be there are loads of members to contact, but nobody cares about replying?

 

I joined Plenty of Fish and one simply called Free Dating to try to overcome my loneliness. Plenty of Fish is free, but there are paid features as well. You can send virtual gifts and all that nonsense. What's the point in paying heaps extra to have some broad have an image of flowers or a wine bottle next to her pretty (or not so pretty) looking face? That is just egotistical and pointless.

 

So I'm contacting some nice looking ladies in my home town, trying to be complimentary and am I getting any response? No. And why is that? Could it be they just like the attention? Then they view my profile but never message me.

 

Keep in mind, there must be truckloads of competition. Like, maybe there are men (and women) that are better looking, richer and more athletic, which we all would agree most women are into. I am not really that social nowadays, so I have to take photos of myself pretending to be joyous in the photos. But hey, I'm still being nice and trying to initiate a conversation, only to be ignored.

 

Then I got a message saying someone wanted to meet me. She's some fatty that would probably squash me in bed (if I even got to the meeting stage, which I doubt very few men do). Yet despite supposedly wanting to meet me, she doesn't reply back.

 

I think Plenty of Fish should be renamed to Plenty of Baloney. That's being mild about it. There is nothing good about that site, unless you like torturing yourself.

 

So, what the hell? Are we single gents just going to be alone forever at this rate?

Plenty of fish is the bottom of the barrell. since your post, a lot more people have become comfortable with online dating. OKCupid is a little better than POF. i am in new england. i imagine there are ones that are popular regionally though. Match.com is the best paid dating service i have used. it isn't that expensive and the women were responsive and decent quality. i have never upgraded my okc or pof by paying but maybe that helps? i would go to match if you're serious and willing to pay, it is definitely worth it. if you're skeptical, try using a prepaid card or something but they have my Cc and i'm not being charged erroneously or shadily.

[EverLastluv]

The person being a fatty? okay now lets try to be more considerate. You are the one thats lonley. They say beggers can not be choosers!

 

Try okcupid, totally free

 

Good luck

[Teraskas]

How long do you get on that site to reply before it kicks you off? I've never heard of such a rule.

 

You have 1 month to reply to any message you've received once the rule is imposed. Granted, it's not a foolproof system and can be circumvented, but still.

[Da Lonely 1]

So if you just say 'I am not interested!' then will that still count as you not evading the answering part? I guess that's the short answer.

[irc333]

Except that I'm 27 and I live in midtown Manhattan. You're telling me girls in their early to mid 20s living in one of the fashion/image capitals of the world aren't shallow and have realistic expectations? And some of the most frequent messages I get say how funny my profile is, how well written it is, questions if I had someone write it for me, and even a girl telling me I should go into business ghost writing profiles for other guys. So don't jump to conclusions just yet.

 

Well, Manhattan, there's no real lack of success if men lived there. Chances are the attitude there with women are differnet, also there's a vast sea of UNattached, young women.

 

Where I live either women ( in their 20's and 30's) are all married or have a boyfriend. I live NEAR a big city, but no where as big as one of the 5 burroughs of NY. Also, I would surmised women there are a bit more open minded and approachable in person (though this is online). Believe me, if I lived where you did, I'd probably get more responses.

 

See what I mean? When you have the most to offer (ex: the best message) you can expect the best reward for it (an emphatic response). It's pretty simple. You cannot be average and expect results

 

 

 

This is in response to those that DID respond to me...and meet...which I would say 3 to 5 women per year the past few years. The rest, well, they just didn't see my efforts for what they were worth.

 

So for all guys complaining that they don't have success with OLD, my question is what have you done to earn it?

 

Well, just what with the women I got responses from. I did improve my profile an initial email to them as well as pictures, got critiques, made improvements in presentation only to increase my response rate from 1 in one year to 5 in one year. I suppose that's SOME kind of improvement. Believe you me, I've already been there and bought the T-shirt with my efforts. Been there, done that.

[Da Lonely 1]

I need to shower more, use spray and certainly brush my teeth. Maybe I ought to grow my hair out and style it. I always have it cut off. There is room for improvement here. Plus, if you smell bad, you smell bad, basically. I still have to wear glasses; I cannot insert contacts.

[Targetlock]

yeah OLD can sometimes seem like a lottery or a strange game where the rules are unclear and biased. its best used as an option to meet option not your only option to meet people.

[El Brujo]

I hear that even running an OLDS isn't that profitable anymore since that story a couple months ago about that model in FL finding out her pic had been stolen and used for making over 200 fake profiles on match dot com.

[Da Lonely 1]

The company won't reinstate those support workers I like so much. That's too bad. What's worse is, I got on my high horse and quit it entirely.

[normal person]

 

Where I live either women ( in their 20's and 30's) are all married or have a boyfriend. I live NEAR a big city, but no where as big as one of the 5 burroughs of NY. Also, I would surmised women there are a bit more open minded and approachable in person (though this is online). Believe me, if I lived where you did, I'd probably get more responses.

 

Well that's why I moved here. There are unattached single women everywhere. I know that not everyone has that sort of luxury but it does play a huge role. I know you live out in the sticks, but you've got to figure that's hugely detrimental to your dating prospects. There are probably only a handful of single women within 20 miles of you. If you don't like any of them or vice versa, you're out of luck. If younger guys (or anyone) are serious about finding a woman through OLD or otherwise, their best bet would be to leave the small towns for the cities. Put the odds in your favor.

 

The price of your tranquility is the utter isolation from any single women. I'm sure you're great at crafting messages and being engaging and whatnot, but it's hard to catch fish in a puddle. You need to get to a lake. You're not doing yourself any favors by living out in the middle of nowhere. I'm sure you'd have much better luck if you moved to a nearby city and increased your odds of success.

[Da Lonely 1]

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.ExternalClass .ecxhmmessage P { padding:0px; } .ExternalClass body.ecxhmmessage { font-size:12pt; font-family:Calibri; } Hey, Robert.

 

Look man: I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, so I'll be blunt with you now. This is already quite hard for me as it is. But, I'll try to keep it short and sweet since I think you're a cool guy.

 

I no longer wish to work with you. I firmly believe you were the one who told Sara about what I was talking to you about, as I showed you multiple examples of posts I'd made on forums, which wasn't a smart move on my part, yet I told you anyway. Sara was a fantastic key worker and it's broken my heart that it is no more. Because you 'blew the whistle' on me, it affected the wonderful relationship I had with Sara which has since been terminated with no chance of a recourse. All the subsequent things that happened to me could have been prevented. I'm in no way blaming you as a lot of it was caused by my own impulsiveness, but I think you did tell Sara about the earlier comments, which landed me right in it. I've not ever deliberately breached any boundaries here, my life has been hell for months and I've been in despair over losing two of the greatest female outreach workers I ever had the pleasure of working with. Losing Sara in particular has left me a mess. She'll not be here forever - I know everybody departs from the company eventually and the fact that I won't get another chance with her has killed any respect I had for this company. Everything I say and send is just more evidence.

 

So, look mate, it's over for you and I, just like it's over between Sara and I. People like to talk about boundaries. I have boundaries too and being a grass lowers my trust in people - something I can admit I set myself up for failure with, because of my open nature. I'm going to talk to Joanna and Sara with Catherine Steedman present so I can do the noble thing, then it'll be goodbye to my support with them. I'm not blaming you for doing your job and telling on me, but it has caused a lot of trouble that will haunt me forever now that they're gone. When I say things to people, I don't expect my affairs to be made public. Sara wasn't the same towards me after December and then I finally lost her (after being fobbed off) which was upsetting enough without all that's went down since with the police and whatnot embarrassing the heck out of me on my very own street.

 

Sara was like a mentor to me, at least until she changed. There was so much more I wanted to do with her to earn back the respect I tarnished before and it's ended on such a poorly, awkward and quite frankly, a ridiculous note. Nothing I say now will rectify what has happened and been decided by management. You're not the one who has to live with the emotional pain of not being supported by these women any more throughout the summer and beyond, plus having all these walls put up to keep Sara and I separated, which I know they've been building because they believe I'm worth the bother.

 

I appreciate all the times we played snooker at The Shandon or wherever else, but sadly that has just ended. It was not without its pay off, though. Check the photo I've attached. I'm handing the cup back over to Stewart Campbell in due time and retiring from Number 6 activities, my support at the flat and interactions with people at my residence come 1 June, so I can move on in life, meet real friends outside of the boundaries people here harp on about, as well as go to a different organization with fresh faces to aid me (probably just older men, though) and give someone eager to succeed at snooker the same chance Number 6 afforded me.

 

Goodbye, my man. I hope you're going to be feeling better soon too, as you've been off. I'm sending this message to multiple people so it's clear that I don't desire to be supported by you any longer, so please respect this decision.

 

Peter.

[ZipperZapper]

I hear that even running an OLDS isn't that profitable anymore since that story a couple months ago about that model in FL finding out her pic had been stolen and used for making over 200 fake profiles on match dot com.

 

You're definitely correct about OLD not being profitable anymore. What I've noticed lately is that match.com is buying up other online dating sites and using them to drive traffic to their site.

 

I found this out when I had a profile on AYI (Are You Interested?) and the site would send out messages saying matches were waiting for me. I'd log on the site and click on the 'Matches' tab, only to see a message with lots of pictures of very good-looking women and a caption that said, "Meet more women on match.com". So much for the matches I was expecting to see.

 

A lot of the profiles on AYI seem to belong to unattractive women, so I suspect that what Match are doing is something like this: "Not happy with seeing all these unattractive women here? Come over to match.com and see attractive women" (and of course, pay more to get little or nothing in return).

 

I found the short foray I did on AYI to be horrible. The system spits out profiles where the woman in the profile asks a generic question and you get to click on a radio button in the pop-up window that matches your answer. So, you click and send your reply. You never hear anything further from them. But the next day, another pop-up message from the same woman comes up, with yet another canned question. You write a personalized message to her. Still no response. The canned pop-up questions keep coming. These are sure signs that AYI are spewing out fake

profiles.

 

Personally, I think AYI are running chatbots too, because the rare time I did chat with someone, their replies would be littered with spelling and grammatical errors, and sentences that didn't have proper capitalization. The very few that didn't quite fit into this pattern would disappear the minute I started asking more probing questions to see if they were real. I caught a few Nigerian/Ghanian scammers this way.

 

Bottom line, I think OLD is going to be done in 2 - 4 years unless OLD site operators find a new scam to reel people in. OLD sucks.

Edited May 27, 2014 by ZipperZapper
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[the tank]

What I dont like about online dating is that people usally still go on the site even if they like the personn. Yesterday I saw the girl I am dating still go but she add nobody. Online dating give too many opportunity... when you meet a girl in real life, i find it way easier to build something.

[sillyanswer]

I have one photo which to me seems decent enough, but I don't know what they'll be thinking when they see it.

 

Personally I skip any profile with only 1 photo no matter how good it looks. I have a view (which may not be entirely true) that everyone can have 1 lucky photo where they look good and that I'd prefer to see more photos to convince me that they really do look good.

 

I'd suggest adding more pics with the majority taken outside in natural daylight.

 

Like I said, I don't have a social life and so, I don't have more 'natural' looking images to upload, that were captured when I'm at my best. Basically, photos you take of yourself just scream of desperation.

 

Yup, some people do have an aversion to selfies. One solution that gets suggested from time to time in this forum is to go to a touristy place with your camera, pretend to be a tourist, and ask a complete stranger to take your pic. (Return the favour, of course, if they are also there with their camera.)

 

Getting a social life (or at least giving hints that you've got one in your profile) may improve your chances, too.

 

And for I know, the sites I use could have fake profiles put up to deceive lonely men like myself.

 

There are definitely "fake" profiles on most dating sites. Some people have even written in this forum about creating such things. For free dating sites there's less incentive for the site itself to be coordinating or encouraging those, but then there's also little barrier to entry for a faker to create a profile. There's a huge (100+ pages) thread about dating sites that contains various advice including some advice about fake profiles and how to spot them.

 

I tend not to contact very classy looking women either, as I know the odds of getting with somebody like that is practically null and void. Sad to say.

 

Fair enough... your choice. Some of those women will be getting hundreds of messages every day, so there's some sense that strategy.

 

I honestly don't get why I'm this alone. Mind you, I don't really do much with my life, so it's little wonder progress is not happening for me. Everything seems like a long shot in itself. I am not very attractive either. I'm skinny, with autism and I wear glasses.

 

Ok, so you do know really. Not doing much with your life isn't the most attractive thing you could say on your profile. Change that to doing interesting stuff, or even just stuff.