She said that she doesn't love me anymore.

[Aleksander]

Hello,

 

Recently my girlfriend - 23yo of three years left me - 23yo. She said that she doesn't love me or feel butterflies in stomach anymore, that she's bored of our relationship ( even though we went to places that she wanted, like clubs, lasertag, her favourite restaurant, and many activities more ), also that some things about me began to irritate her - like my tidiness in my room. She stated that our dates and meetings doesn't even made her happy for past three months. Now brief story of our relationship: She loved me for years, we dated for like 2 months when we were 16, then we weren't communicating well so we stopped seeing each other - she was devastated and started partying. I was still in love with her, same for her, but i meant to try slowly know each other, she in the mean time had two relationships, one that bored her and she don't see future in (longdistance, guy lying), second one toxic, with emotional blackmail ( guy was almost a psycho, he threatened suicide and was aggressive ), so when they split up, we reconnected ( we were meeting over 3 years like friends, but both with stronger feelings for each other). Our realtionship was best thing in her life as she said. We had this special connection, wanted same things (often talked about marrige), her family loved me becasue they saw how caring, loving and well behaved i am (i helped her dad many times), and same was for her - my parents loved her. People around as saw as a perfect couple, people that were ment to be with each other without doubt. For last three months she doesn't seemed herself as i see now (week after breakup). Recently we had our talk, for three hours we sat in my car and talked about our feelings after breakup. She told me she need space and time to herself, complete silence and no seeing - i respected that, i don't want to force her to anything, because i care about her too much. She told me she's going to parties, talk to her old friends from high school, and i feel like she's really confused right know and even she doesn't know what she wants right know. My part of talking in our last meeting emphasized maturity, same plans for future, evolving of relationship ( because we can't stand in one place whole time - but i never push her to nothing she won't do herself). I did my best to love her as much as i can, and don't do anything to hurt her. She was really bummed out that everything about us come this way, she cried and seriously looked devastated. I told her that i can't be her safe place to come whenever she wants, i can't be a plan b, but i'm still in love with her, and she broke my heart, and unwanted love won't last forever, and i don't know what the future brings and i hope she won't do anything she will regret later, i asked her to look at this as an adult, if she won't regret soon that she gave up relationship that she ever had because of doubts and annoyance - which every couple had when it comes to mature relationship. It looks like i have grow emotionally more than she did. I even prayed for her to get clear mind and maturity. I know every person is different and that she might have just crush on me for our relationship time, but we menaged to connect well on so many levels that i think there's bound between us. Now i decided to give her time as she asked, and doesn't bother her for a while ( her birthday are coming in 1,5month, and my graduation in 1,2month so there will be good oportunities to reconnect, with positive topics and toughts ). I hope she don't get to emotionally and go in direction like rebounds and lots of other stuff i rather don't want to think about, but i can't controll her life and let her do whatever she wants now. Can i do anything to rise our chances of getting back, or am i just i need for a love because i lost one ?

[FredJones80]

Hello,

 

Recently my girlfriend - 23yo of three years left me - 23yo. She said that she doesn't love me or feel butterflies in stomach anymore, that she's bored of our relationship

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/476516-romantic-love-vs-committed-love-food-thought

 

Romantic love has worn off.

[PhillyConnection23]

The best thing you can do is let her know your thoughts/feelings about the issue in a reasonable and mature way. After that leave her alone.

 

Don't text her, don't call her, don't message her in any other way for a while. Graduation or birthdays are just an excuse to reach out to her. After a few months of living your life and focusing on yourself, if you still feel a need to speak with her, reach out and see if there is something between you two.

 

You aren't going to get the old relationship...she said she doesn't love you anymore. You need to start something new with new experiences and new emotions. But of course, I'm not saying that will happen.

[Chi townD]

She sounds like a commitment phobe. She's afraid to miss out on parties and hanging with friends. She's also missing on that feeling of finding someone new and the excitement that causes. So, yeah....I'd have to say that this is a case of GIGS. She's putting more of a value on her friends and parting then she was on your relationship.

 

Time to move on, dude. You stated that she has a birthday coming up and you have a graduation. You're looking at those as a means to talk to her. Well.....don't. Move on. You didn't want this, she did. Therefore, you give her exactly what she's asking for. You to be gone from her life. BLOCK HER ON FACEBOOK! Unfollow her on all social media and start making some positive changes to your life. She needs to know you're gone. You're dead to her. You are not her friend. So, don't fall for that friend zone crap. If she contacts you, ignore it. Post here instead. We'll walk you through the tough times.