Author UK Man Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Thanks for the words Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Man I feel bad for you. I had a similar situation where my WXW wanted a trial separation so she could continue on with her OM, needless to say that was not going to happen. At this point you need to protect your assets and your own well being. Do yourself a favor.....stop driving by to see where she is, this is not good for you....I know because I did it in the beginning (of the end) as well. Keep posting, there are some good folks here that have been through it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 So your wife (once again) has blamed you. She has no shame nor woman balls to stand up and just be honest. She's passive, she's a liar, a cheater and passive aggressive. Good riddance, you're better off! Even though you're hurting now and need to grieve this loss - the life you had hoped for and expected by marrying her - But once your healing is well on the pathway, you'll feel a lot better. This is her loss. Take care of you and don't let her manipulate you, make you feel bad or anything. Stand up for yourself and just know you're going to be okay. It's easier to know what's what and now you know exactly what is and has been going on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Sorry you're going through this dude. Your wife is gone. Time to look out for you now. Get a lawyer and pass that number to her. Anything she wants to say or needs should be directed through the lawyer now. It's ashame that I believe that this dude is a British Solider, if it were an American, you could report him to his commanding officer and they would throw his ass in jail for sleeping with a married woman. It's against military law for US service members to commit adultery. What did she mean by YOUR behavior that morning confirmed that you were through? Why? Because you didn't beg and kiss her ass? she meant by my behavour this morning confirmd == i came around the house again to confront her when she told me not tp . but what did she expect after I found out what she was up to ? yet she still drove to him most nites when she probably new i would check her car , but just didnt give a damn Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Man I feel bad for you. I had a similar situation where my WXW wanted a trial separation so she could continue on with her OM, needless to say that was not going to happen. At this point you need to protect your assets and your own well being. Do yourself a favor.....stop driving by to see where she is, this is not good for you....I know because I did it in the beginning (of the end) as well. Keep posting, there are some good folks here that have been through it. good words . ihave stopped driving out . anyway she moves onto the army base on friday and that my friends will be the end of that !! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 good words . ihave stopped driving out . anyway she moves onto the army base on friday and that my friends will be the end of that !! At least you're rid of her. Can't imagine the pain the husbands must feel when they have to see their wives come and go each evening. Too bad you can't find out who he is, I heard the military doesn't really approve of straying soldiers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 At least you're rid of her. Can't imagine the pain the husbands must feel when they have to see their wives come and go each evening. Too bad you can't find out who he is, I heard the military doesn't really approve of straying soldiers. It will continue for a while ....... have the family party in a month , the house is up for sale , we have two children and a grand child I want to go live in Las Vegas with a Rich woman and be spoilt , any one help me out , Im a good catch ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
A.Moscote Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 At this moment, she choose that man over you, at night it is him that she wants to get laid with, in the morning it is his butt she would like to squeeze. You wait for your turn, or end it now. That's your choice. I hope you will go for the latter. Let her get busy living that way, while you work (and yes, strive and struggle) for your next chapter in life. Believe in yourself that you can create and have that happiness again, and eventually along the way, you will meet a new person, a worthy life partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 At this moment, she choose that man over you, at night it is him that she wants to get laid with, in the morning it is his butt she would like to squeeze. You wait for your turn, or end it now. That's your choice. I hope you will go for the latter. Let her get busy living that way, while you work (and yes, strive and struggle) for your next chapter in life. Believe in yourself that you can create and have that happiness again, and eventually along the way, you will meet a new person, a worthy life partner. look at post 46 mate Link to post Share on other sites
A.Moscote Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Demit, sorry. Be strong anyway, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
RonaldS Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 (edited) It's a pretty safe bet that she's not spending a hell of a lot of time thinking about you, that's for sure. Best move is to return the favor. Armydouche will dump her shortly. By that time I hope you're emotionally past her and dating a few hot women yourself. Exactly. You make your bed, you gotta sleep in it. It's really just a matter of time before the guy gets sick of her, so when he does and then she tries crawling back to the OP, hopefully the OP tells her to eff herself. Edited May 20, 2014 by RonaldS 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Exactly. You make your bed, you gotta sleep in it. It's really just a matter of time before the guy gets sick of her, so when he does and then she tries crawling back to the OP, hopefully the OP tells her to eff herself. The wife said he is being posted 400 miles away in the next month Im guessing If that's true may or may not be She is a stubborn woman and would never admit she was wrong or crawl back , I know that for a fact Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 The wife said he is being posted 400 miles away in the next month Im guessing If that's true may or may not be She is a stubborn woman and would never admit she was wrong or crawl back , I know that for a fact Never say never. My XH did and I would have bet you money he would never do it. It was too late by then. I would never go back with him and he is still intermittently writing me nasty texts because I won't. You might be surprised! Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 It really sucks you have to go through this but I can tell you this is somewhat a blessing. She wants the divorce over fast. That is great it means you get to spend far less money on a attorney and more money on taking care of you. There are a lot better women out there. Clay 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I agree with Clay, strike while the metal is hot! She's looking for a fast divorce. Therefore, she'll agree to about anything just to be over and done with it. The more you sit on it, the more time she has to think on it. You have something on your side. Right now, she's deep in the affair fog. If this guy is going to be moving 400 miles away, she might be under the impression that if she has nothing there holding her back, he might take her with him. But, she has to be rid of you and have no attachments that would force her to come back, i.e. court dates and such. So, use that to your advantage. Your wife is gone, the wife you once knew has been replace with a bat sh*t crazy bitch. You don't know this new woman, so it's time to be selfish and protect yourself. Look out for number one. Also, start making changes to the house. pack up all of her crap and get it out of the house. Put it in a shed or out in the garage. Buy new furniture or move the furniture you have around. Put new paint up on the walls. Colors that YOU like. Take down all pictures of you two and replace it with paintings or artwork that YOU like. Make that house YOURS! Make it that if anyone that came into your house would have to walk back out and look at the numbers to make sure they were walking into the right house. This will help you heal because your house would be a constant reminder that she was the one that probably decorated it. Women pride themselves on making a house a home. By making these changes also shows her that you're moving on without her. You're destroying what she built and she has no say in what you do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Work out to utter bloody exhaustion every day. Light on booze, heavy on water. File for divorce. Meet women. And STOP stalking her. This could come back to haunt you in the divorce mess that's coming. It's alos obsessive and taking over you; let it go, you cannot control what she does. Unrelated, can the OP get her for cheating, Infidelity, or whayever it's called, since they are still legally married and she is sleeping with another man? Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 But if we are separated say for the 9 weeks , we are no longer living together as a married couple . so how can it be adultry if we are living apart ? sorry cant get my head around it I'm coming in late to this thread and have not read all the posts. IMHO you are asking legal questions we cannot answer for you, as much as we want to. Go see an attorney, or whatever they are called in the UK, NOW. Get your ducks in a row, document, do your homework, make the right moves. But do it with the right counsel, not us. And do not stalk her, follow her, check up on her, contact her, STAY AWAY from her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Unrelated, can the OP get her for cheating, Infidelity, or whayever it's called, since they are still legally married and she is sleeping with another man? From what little I understand about UK, the answer seems to be a pretty clear "yes". Sounds like she wouldn't dispute an adultery filing, anyways, which brings up an important point: He should file ASAP (yesterday if not sooner) while she's still in la-la land and picking out curtains with armydouche. Also, carry a VAR around her to get any future confessions on the record. Just in case he needs it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I might be mistaken, but I'm just going off of British posters from the past. Yeah, they can file under adultery, but the only thing that does is move the process along more quickly, no mandatory waiting period. Doesn't really help them with a settlement. I could be wrong, but that's my take on it. Any British folks here that would like to clear this up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 I might be mistaken, but I'm just going off of British posters from the past. Yeah, they can file under adultery, but the only thing that does is move the process along more quickly, no mandatory waiting period. Doesn't really help them with a settlement. I could be wrong, but that's my take on it. Any British folks here that would like to clear this up? Hi Guys , OP Here You are right , it only moves along the mandatory waiting period . No help with the settlement . Kids grown up so it's 50 / 50 ........... the fun and games will begin when we discuss My Military Pension !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 I agree with Clay, strike while the metal is hot! She's looking for a fast divorce. Therefore, she'll agree to about anything just to be over and done with it. The more you sit on it, the more time she has to think on it. You have something on your side. Right now, she's deep in the affair fog. If this guy is going to be moving 400 miles away, she might be under the impression that if she has nothing there holding her back, he might take her with him. But, she has to be rid of you and have no attachments that would force her to come back, i.e. court dates and such. So, use that to your advantage. Your wife is gone, the wife you once knew has been replace with a bat sh*t crazy bitch. You don't know this new woman, so it's time to be selfish and protect yourself. Look out for number one. Also, start making changes to the house. pack up all of her crap and get it out of the house. Put it in a shed or out in the garage. Buy new furniture or move the furniture you have around. Put new paint up on the walls. Colors that YOU like. Take down all pictures of you two and replace it with paintings or artwork that YOU like. Make that house YOURS! Make it that if anyone that came into your house would have to walk back out and look at the numbers to make sure they were walking into the right house. This will help you heal because your house would be a constant reminder that she was the one that probably decorated it. Women pride themselves on making a house a home. By making these changes also shows her that you're moving on without her. You're destroying what she built and she has no say in what you do anymore. The wife would never move with him . We have two grown up children here who she loves and a grandchild , Parents , friends etc. no way moving . Also has a good job here Hand on heart guys , she doesn't want me and this Man came on the scene after the split , well she knew him before the split , but the physical side of things started 10 days ago The thing that grips my Sh*t is that she wanted to move onto the army base to have space of her own away from her friends small house to think about us and what she wants to do.......... which must have been crap as she wouldn't have started this relationship with this man if she was serious about me / Us At the end of the day......... she prefers to be with this man for a short period he is here , rather than to be alone and to think about our future and the prospect of coming back She has changed to a different person I know I could never have her back as it would always haunt me what she done so easily and the thought of it if we were together would kill me She doesn't want me anyways . But I hope she looks back in time and regrets what she has done when money is tight and she can't afford to do things that we used to do together ........... I think I will get my arse over to Vegas after Xmas and have a party on my own , Anyone know any nice ladies over there for a young looking 48 year old Lol Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 She has changed to a different person I know I could never have her back as it would always haunt me what she done so easily and the thought of it if we were together would kill me She doesn't want me anyways . But I hope she looks back in time and regrets what she has done when money is tight and she can't afford to do things that we used to do together ........... I think I will get my arse over to Vegas after Xmas and have a party on my own , Anyone know any nice ladies over there for a young looking 48 year old Lol I felt the same way....."wow....I don't even know this woman". Don't hold your breath looking for remorse, you'll want it, I know I did.....but don't hold your breath. Mine went as far as saying "sorry I ruined your life", but it seemed half hearted at best and at that point I already moved on. I think eventually the WS feels bad for what they did, but YOU may never hear about it. As far as never going back, that is on you as it was on me and that's OK. I survived an A from my first wife, it was the one thing I asked my last wife NOT to do to me and she did. When I say it's "on us" what I mean is it's OK to make the A deal breaker. I knew I would be "haunted" as well; I literally made up my mind I was leaving within 24 hours and I filed within just a few days to get a custody agreement in place. I really did want it to work, but deep down I knew "I" could never let it go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 I'm struggling tonight Guys . I can't stop having images in my head Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Get busy staying busy! Go to a movie or meet up with friends! Heck, you might meet some nice prospects if you get busy in your area. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) I still don't know what to do about the family babtism in 4 weeks time go to the church , stay for photos and leave or go to the church and go to the party afterwards . will be hard seeing her there if i do this ........... another thing , she isn't telling anyone about her and this man . family or friends . wonder if thats because she knows he leaves soon and theres no point and they may think bad of her ? She told me if I told our 21 year old son she would never forgive me I would love to tell her parents , who have been divorced also years ago , but is it really worth the aggrevation ? cant believe she would be in his bed every night if there was no future , but she has changed and we were hardly ever intimate for a long time . guess she's making up for it and feels that as she is separated theres no harm Edited May 22, 2014 by UK Man Link to post Share on other sites
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