Author UK Man Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hi Gorilla I'm surprised too ! But it is what it is........ Im trying to take good care of myself , the loneliness is the hardest part. Still kept the weight off that I lost , so looking ok Not after a relationship , well not chasing / seeking one out . But I must admit it would feel nice to feel wanted . But I am weary of it being a rebound relationship as I'm not properly healed yet. UK MAN Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 here in the UK you can only file for divorce for unreasonable behavour or adultry . she wasnt any of the two during the marriage . or else you have to be separated for 2 years to file for divorce Seperate then divorce. It seems she wants time to try new guys, without the label of being a cheater. Don't allow yourself to be used like a doormat. So she's sleeping with this guy, sees how it goes and has you to fall back on. She has no respect for you. Is this really how you want your wife to see you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 Seperate then divorce. It seems she wants time to try new guys, without the label of being a cheater. Don't allow yourself to be used like a doormat. So she's sleeping with this guy, sees how it goes and has you to fall back on. She has no respect for you. Is this really how you want your wife to see you? You are a bit late mate......... We are divorced now and she recently married the Douche. It was a long thread 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Hello All , OP here Thought I would give you an update........... I'm sure there are many of you who remember my plight . Well my divorce came through in February and the house sold in March Those of you that remember , my ex wife left me in March of last year (2014) and took up shortly after with that Army man......... or before if the truth be known ! who knows the real truth ! Well they moved off the Army base at Christmas and into a rented house........and then guess what , they married 4 weeks ago !!! 2 months after the divorce One bit of good news is that he is getting posted 6 hours drive away next week and she is going with him too Leaving behind her family here , but told my daughter she will come back to visit every 6 weeks for a weekend It was a huge shock for me and quite a blow her getting married . I was surprised especially as he is 15 years younger than her She even had the wedding without my Son attending as he is in the military and is currently overseas until August I'm still struggling with everything that has happened , I won't lie . It isn't easy . I have been on a few dates , but just don't feel right yet . When will the thoughts of my past life and the hurt she caused me pass ? it's been 14 months now since she left , but so much has happened in that time Best Wishes Is she pregnant? I don't know what the military is like in the UK, but here in the US, military members often get married quickly because they get extra benefits and pay when they are married. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Is she pregnant? I don't know what the military is like in the UK, but here in the US, military members often get married quickly because they get extra benefits and pay when they are married. Respectfully.... I suggest that UKMan not put a lot of energy into considering whether his wife is pregnant, what she is doing, why she is doing it, what she plans to do in the future, or anything else about her current or future life. These are all things that he should be disconnecting from - breaking the emotional ties to his past. Everything about her - with the very minor exception of her role as mother of their (adult) children - is now a part of his past, and any energy he spends agonizing over "what is she doing and why" is energy diverted from building his own future and moving his life forward without being dragged back. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 Respectfully.... I suggest that UKMan not put a lot of energy into considering whether his wife is pregnant, what she is doing, why she is doing it, what she plans to do in the future, or anything else about her current or future life. These are all things that he should be disconnecting from - breaking the emotional ties to his past. Everything about her - with the very minor exception of her role as mother of their (adult) children - is now a part of his past, and any energy he spends agonizing over "what is she doing and why" is energy diverted from building his own future and moving his life forward without being dragged back. Thank you Mr Trimmer Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Respectfully.... I suggest that UKMan not put a lot of energy into considering whether his wife is pregnant, what she is doing, why she is doing it, what she plans to do in the future, or anything else about her current or future life. These are all things that he should be disconnecting from - breaking the emotional ties to his past. Everything about her - with the very minor exception of her role as mother of their (adult) children - is now a part of his past, and any energy he spends agonizing over "what is she doing and why" is energy diverted from building his own future and moving his life forward without being dragged back. I agree. Eventually it will be only speaking and dealing with her when it has to do with your kids. That's it. No need to know anything personal in her life, or let her know anything that is going on in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Respectfully.... I suggest that UKMan not put a lot of energy into considering whether his wife is pregnant, what she is doing, why she is doing it, what she plans to do in the future, or anything else about her current or future life. These are all things that he should be disconnecting from - breaking the emotional ties to his past. Everything about her - with the very minor exception of her role as mother of their (adult) children - is now a part of his past, and any energy he spends agonizing over "what is she doing and why" is energy diverted from building his own future and moving his life forward without being dragged back. You're absolutely right. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 You've been given a second chance, your not wasting the rest of your life on a relationship that was one of convenience. You have wonderful children regardless of how things turned out between you and their mother. Karma will be knocking at her door soon. How long do you think it will be before the age difference between them becomes a factor? Live an amazing life, your children will make sure she knows about it. They hate it when you become successful and happy. This is about you, she was in your life for just the right amount of time, everything you have moving forward is yours, don't waste it by dwelling on her. Her time is done, the right Mrs. UK MAN will be arriving soon but only when she knows you are no longer hung up on a ghost. Very exciting about your new apartment. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UK Man Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 You've been given a second chance, your not wasting the rest of your life on a relationship that was one of convenience. You have wonderful children regardless of how things turned out between you and their mother. Karma will be knocking at her door soon. How long do you think it will be before the age difference between them becomes a factor? Live an amazing life, your children will make sure she knows about it. They hate it when you become successful and happy. This is about you, she was in your life for just the right amount of time, everything you have moving forward is yours, don't waste it by dwelling on her. Her time is done, the right Mrs. UK MAN will be arriving soon but only when she knows you are no longer hung up on a ghost. Very exciting about your new apartment. Everything you said makes total sense and I thank you........ Now I have to tell my brain that this is the way forward ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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