Medium.Lumo Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 I have had enough of the relationship. I can't take her behaviour anymore. As much as it kills me I have to end it because every time I hope she will improve she does something selfish again. I have decided to end it but I don't know how to do it. Her stuff is at my place, we drive together in the mornings, we have an established routine. And who is going to taker her and her stuff back to her parents etc. I don't want to... Any advice welcome 14 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Medium, I'm personally glad to see this thread. I think the best way to handle a situation like this is to be honest. Tell her that you really wanted this to be mutually beneficial relationship but that you feel you aren't compatible due to some things that make you feel uncomfortable. Tell her that you have tried very hard to make things work but her selfishness and inconsideration regarding your time, home, sex and feelings has left you feeling like it isn't worth the drama anymore. Then offer to help her move her stuff back to her place, tell her you need to go No Contact and that maybe in the future when you feel more able, you may want to befriends again. She will try to seduce you most likely...that was something my gfs tried to do when I broke up with them but remember it isn't worth it in the long term. She will also scream and cry or act cold and pissy. Either way, this isn't a reflection on you as you have out up with a lot that most men never would have. Tell her you want her out by a certain time, you will help her move if need be and you would prefer to keep it amicable as you were friends first. Then, put some distance between you and do not answer her calls or associate with her through any media. You may or may not be able to be friends in the future, but you cannot be friends right now or she will manipulate you into getting back together. Good luck, Grumps 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 WOOHOOO!!! Have a beer, on me. I agree with Grumpy's suggestion. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 If you are the guy with the maniacal gf, how "cordial" this breakup is will be 99% up to her. Stick to your guns. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 It is hard and there is no easy way. I was living with someone and it was building and she could tell and it is a brutal series of events that follow the confirmation that the bread has fallen butter side down. But, the relief you feel confirms the decision it is like a wave of relaxation that follows before the loneliness and doubt creeps in sometime after. The decision has been made so now it must be played out, fear only delays and is temporary you know that the decision is already made so it all depends how long you play it out for, or waste your life before setting it in stone. Let it build. Sit her down and let it out. Expect the outburst, the tears, the how could you do this to me and do not back down stick to your decision and play it out as it will pass. There is no right or wrong with breaking up it just has to happen, there is right and wrong when it comes to how you choose to play it out. Do it right. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Sorry man, it is the best decision but breaks ups are always awful. This is why it's best to bail at earlier signs. Grumpy's advice is sound. Link to post Share on other sites
SarcasticAbby Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 If you're not happy in your current relationship you need to do both of you a favor and call it quits. You can't stay in a relationship because you have a routine. Although it would be nice to help her move out it's not your responsibility. Once this all blows over and you've moved on you'll be happy with your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 She will try to seduce you most likely...that was something my gfs tried to do when I broke up with them but remember it isn't worth it in the long term. She will also scream and cry or act cold and pissy. Grumps She may also promise change, beg for another chance, blame shift... Seems she's capable of pretty much anything. Don't fall for it. You know her better than anyone of us. What time of day is she generally calmest? Do it then. You need to stay calm. Firm, but calm, Don't be goaded. Protect your stuff. Put away anything she can grab or throw. You drive together in the morning. Can you drive her back to her house? Let her figure out the logistics of getting her stuff from you while she's there. Change your locks. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm probably going to regret this when I'm masturbating but it is definitely the only thing I can do. I can see she isn't going to change. I don't want to have pretty but psycho kids. At least I had a girlfriend for a few months and she was hot. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Grumpy gave you some great advice; I'll just add this. If possible, take your house and car keys off her key chain prior to ending it with her. If you can't, be sure to get your keys back. Offer to help her load up her car. I don't think you should load up your car with her stuff to drive her to her parents, because then you are stuck there helping them unload your car. Awkward. The second she leaves your apartment, call a locksmith and have the locks changed. Be firm. She will try to make you change your mind. Unfortunately, you are having to learn the hard why why it isn't a good idea to move in with someone so quickly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Wow, I am shocked. I never thought it would happen. Good on you mate for sticking up for yourself! Any chance you guys are in California? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
martaldn Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm probably going to regret this when I'm masturbating but it is definitely the only thing I can do. I can see she isn't going to change. I don't want to have pretty but psycho kids. At least I had a girlfriend for a few months and she was hot. I am sure you will find another hot girl who will respect and love you as you really deserve you are a nice guy.. and breaking up with her will only be beneficial for you. good luck Lumo :) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InnocentMan Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 When I break up with imaginary gf's, I just stop posting about them on the internet. Try that. Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 I'm probably going to regret this when I'm masturbating I don't think you breaking up with her is going to be a problem, doesn't sound like the relationship was becoming that deep. Link to post Share on other sites
martaldn Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 When I break up with imaginary gf's, I just stop posting about them on the internet. Try that. what makes you think he is not telling us the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm probably going to regret this when I'm masturbating but it is definitely the only thing I can do. I can see she isn't going to change. I don't want to have pretty but psycho kids. At least I had a girlfriend for a few months and she was hot. What is your fixation with not having to masturbate? You mention it in nearly every thread you've started. Are you that lazy? This chick may be hot, but she is batsh*t crazy. There's nothing to regret here. Grumpys advice is sound. Get her out and change the locks ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I have to admit I'm happy to hear this, so sorry. She WILL try to change your mind. There WILL be sex involved if you don't stick to your guns. This would be the time to NOT trust her to take her BC pills. Be careful, and good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyConnection23 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Expect the outburst, the tears, the how could you do this to me and do not back down stick to your decision and play it out as it will pass. Exactly why people advocate no contact right away. It is interesting to read this from the perspective of the dumper and what people are saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 What is your fixation with not having to masturbate? You mention it in nearly every thread you've started. Are you that lazy? This chick may be hot, but she is batsh*t crazy. There's nothing to regret here. Grumpys advice is sound. Get her out and change the locks ASAP. To me it just feels much better to be with a girl than any kind of masturbation technique I have tried. Since getting a girlfriend is so difficult it is a major loss. Never mind though, I've made up my mind to leave her after a recent incident. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Good advice, thanks. I'll definitely concentrate more on personality in the future but that's not rock solid... I mean she was completely sweet in my view before we actually started dating. I don't believe you can just know what someone's like until you live with her. I snorted aggressively into my coffee. Note to everyone; if you think hot coffee on your tongue is bad, try it in your nose. Gratz OP. Remember she'll try and get you back. If you successfully go no contact and keep her at bay, you win. If you go back on your decision and take her back, you're forever f*cked. Every time you do that, it just teaches them that you're never serious and that they know they can get you back with a little coercing. Lastly, I'd tell you to grow the f*ck up and stop focusing on how hot she is, think with your head and not your dick, etc...but that's unlikely you'll do that, until you get more experience under your belt. Try not aiming just for looks with the next one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 I have to admit I'm happy to hear this, so sorry. She WILL try to change your mind. There WILL be sex involved if you don't stick to your guns. This would be the time to NOT trust her to take her BC pills. Be careful, and good luck! You're right. I think it will be hugely tempting but I have made my decision. This weekend will just be me, my smart TV, season 4 of Walking Dead. I'm looking forward to alone time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 This girl is NOT girlfriend material! TRY to resist her "hotness". Please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) How I think it's going to play out is she'll try to make as if I'm overreacting to everything and that I should calm down. Once she realize I won't back down I don't know what she'll do though. I heard her breakup with her ex got ugly, but I don't know if it was from her side or his side. I'm going to do it at a public place, probably at dinner. I've never seen her rage but if she does I don't want her to break any of my stuff. Lock change won't be necessary. It's biometric so I just gave to have her removed from the system. She may also promise change, beg for another chance, blame shift... Seems she's capable of pretty much anything. Don't fall for it. You know her better than anyone of us. What time of day is she generally calmest? Do it then. You need to stay calm. Firm, but calm, Don't be goaded. Protect your stuff. Put away anything she can grab or throw. You drive together in the morning. Can you drive her back to her house? Let her figure out the logistics of getting her stuff from you while she's there. Change your locks. Edited May 21, 2014 by Medium.Lumo Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 It's a correct decision you are taking. I can forsee the breakup not being very cordial, given her level of maturity, so be prepared to say the same thing over and over again and to be firm. Be strong, you are young and just growing to be a man! She should be the one stressing about her things, which she brought in your house so soon. You may help her pack, but she would have to call someone else to help her carry them, or drive herself. She may even take a cab. As other people mentioned, no contact is the way to go. If you had a pretty girl once, then you surely can have one for a second time. Beauty is replaceable, a lovely character isn't. Tell us how it goes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Wow, I am shocked. I never thought it would happen. Good on you mate for sticking up for yourself! Any chance you guys are in California? LOL. Why??? If it's what I'm thinking it isn't worth it Bro. Link to post Share on other sites
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