Had enough of girlfriend... how to end it cordially

[TigerLilly78]

Ok im sorry I did a tiny bit of back research on the op recent threads about this chick and to be honest it goes beyond being a "little pushy" she's completely disrespected him to the point its physically hurt him. So yeah this is no different then the women who are in a physically or emotionally abusive relationships!

 

 

OP you know what you need to do that's clear from this thread you will find some one else who you will click with who will actually respect you and who you can have a healthy adult relationship with.

 

 

Cause this "girl" is nothing but that a disrespectful abusive bratty girl not a women when you find one of those you will see the difference you honestly don't have to settle for a childish problem riddled relationship...

[Medium.Lumo]

Limo is tall, has a college degree, a good job, a nice apartment and car, and lots of friends. He will have no problem finding a new girlfriend who isn't completely nuts.

 

Thanks clia, that's nice of you to say, but...

 

All that means nothing to most Las Vegas girls. They are a lot pickier than girls in most other places.

[Lani]

Have you still not broken up with her Lumo?

 

Come on man.. it's time.

[Medium.Lumo]

Have you still not broken up with her Lumo?

 

Come on man.. it's time.

 

I did... but I'm worried it was a mistake.

[Lani]

I did... but I'm worried it was a mistake.

 

How so?

Because she's 'hot'?

[MidwestUSA]

 

Frankly I think it was a mistake for him to break up with her.

 

What he should have been was starting to be more firm with her and not let her get her way all the time.

 

In the end all he did was give up. That doesn't look too good for the next girl if it becomes a pattern.

 

So you'd advise a woman who was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend to stay and be more firm with him? I can think of a couple of women right here on this forum you'd be advising to run for the hills, even subtly (or not) hitting on them as you spoke.

 

 

Sexual assault is bit more than 'getting her way'. He should have dumped her immediately after that incident (when she dismissed it with giggles), but good for him for following through now.

[lollipopspot]

So you'd advise a woman who was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend to stay and be more firm with him? I can think of a couple of women right here on this forum you'd be advising to run for the hills, even subtly (or not) hitting on them as you spoke.

 

Sexual assault is bit more than 'getting her way'. He should have dumped her immediately after that incident (when she dismissed it with giggles), but good for him for following through now.

 

He outweighs her by something like 100 pounds I think. They were both sober. I wouldn't call him sexually assaulted. I kind of agree with SD that he should have been assertive with her in the relationship, if he wanted to stay with her, and it doesn't seem as though he was.

[somedude81]

So you'd advise a woman who was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend to stay and be more firm with him? I can think of a couple of women right here on this forum you'd be advising to run for the hills, even subtly (or not) hitting on them as you spoke.

 

 

Sexual assault is bit more than 'getting her way'. He should have dumped her immediately after that incident (when she dismissed it with giggles), but good for him for following through now.

 

Yeah, that was a really bad thing that she did.

 

Though I believe that the only reason it got to that point was because of how he let her treat him.

 

He started dating her in March, and from the very beginning she was the one in charge. As I said before, he was her toy. Because he let it happen.

 

Hell she basically moved herself into his apartment and took over the place.

 

She sounds like a child who never heard the word no. I believe that they could have had a much healthier relationship if Lumo actually acted like the man.

[somedude81]

So you'd advise a woman who was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend to stay and be more firm with him? I can think of a couple of women right here on this forum you'd be advising to run for the hills, even subtly (or not) hitting on them as you spoke.

As for what I would suggest to a woman, the mentality is completely different.

 

First, Lumo's GF didn't seem like she was actually abusive. If she got violent or called him names, or made fun of him, then I would suggest he gets rid of her.

 

Getting back to women, it's my belief that a man has to treat a woman with the utmost respect. If a woman is being disrespected by a man and not getting her needs met, she should leave him. There are a bunch of other guys who would gladly treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

 

Basically, I feel that a woman should never feel the need to stand up to a guy and be firm with him. If she has to do that, it means that he is screwing up.

 

Though I don't feel the same way for a man to stand up to a woman. It's basically a mans nature to lead and if the woman is calling the shots, it means he's screwing up.

 

Of course there are women who are completely batsh*t crazy and should be removed from ones life. Though I don't think Lumo's GF was that type.

 

BTW, that girl that I'm sure you're thinking about, who I'm not going to name. I've liked her a for a while and I care about her and want her to be happy.

Edited May 27, 2014 by somedude81

[Lani]

Faarrrkkkkk somedude81... you're really not helping here.

 

Your view of women is skewed (to say the very least), and in this situation the 'advice' you're giving is so off the mark.

 

You don't know Lumo's girlfriend. He's made the decision to break up with her, and now needs reassurance and all you can give him is your bizzare take on assertiveness?

 

No deal buddy.

[somedude81]

I'm giving the counter opinion.

 

No I don't believe his relationship is screwed. Lumo himself doesn't know if he made the right decision or not.

 

Moving her out of his apartment was a great first step.

 

In my opinion, if he wants to, he can salvage the relationship, but he'll have to stick to his morals and not let her run things.

 

Of course, this is all up to him.

[Els]

He outweighs her by something like 100 pounds I think. They were both sober. I wouldn't call him sexually assaulted

 

This is the first time I've heard that being of equal weight is required for assault to be called 'assault'.

 

Wonder how that would hold up in court.

[Lani]

I'm giving the counter opinion.

 

No I don't believe his relationship is screwed. Lumo himself doesn't know if he made the right decision or not.

 

Moving her out of his apartment was a great first step.

 

In my opinion, if he wants to, he can salvage the relationship, but he'll have to stick to his morals and not let her run things.

 

Of course, this is all up to him.

 

But she seems to want to run things..

And if that's who she is, doesn't she deserve to be in a relationship that lets her do so?

 

Us women, we have preferences too you know. And why should they be swept under the rug because of what some men think?

This isn't 1920. We don't need to be put into line if we don't want to, and believe it or not, there are some men who want a woman like her.

[Lani]

This is the first time I've heard that being of equal weight is required for assault to be called 'assault'.

 

Wonder how that would hold up in court.

 

I potentially weighed more than the man who sexually assaulted me.. perhaps simply being more assertive with him was the answer.

 

My bad.

[somedude81]

But she seems to want to run things..

And if that's who she is, doesn't she deserve to be in a relationship that lets her do so?

Then by all means, she can be the one to dump him if he started to take the lead and she wasn't happy.

 

Though I bet that she'd be happy if he did man up.

 

Us women, we have preferences too you know. And why should they be swept under the rug because of what some men think?

This isn't 1920. We don't need to be put into line if we don't want to, and believe it or not, there are some men who want a woman like her.

 

Ha ha!

 

This is getting a bit excessive and I don't want to go into the nature of women and the feeling that they have to test their men in this thread.

 

Some other time

[Lani]

Then by all means, she can be the one to dump him if he started to take the lead and she wasn't happy.

 

Though I bet that she'd be happy if he did man up.

 

 

 

Ha ha!

 

This is getting a bit excessive and I don't want to go into the nature of women and the feeling that they have to test their men in this thread.

 

Some other time

 

So she can dump him for behaviour she doesn't like, but he can't do the same?

Edited May 27, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[MidwestUSA]

I potentially weighed more than the man who sexually assaulted me.. perhaps simply being more assertive with him was the answer.

 

My bad.

 

Were you sober? Apparently that plays into it as well.

[KaliLove]

Yes, you're right..all women are universally exactly the same. We all think and act the same way, we like the same things, and we all, without a doubt, hate short men.

[Lani]

Were you sober? Apparently that plays into it as well.

 

I was.. So I definitely could have done something about it!

 

Also, I was scantily clad so much have wanted it, right?

[lollipopspot]

This is the first time I've heard that being of equal weight is required for assault to be called 'assault'.

 

Wonder how that would hold up in court.

 

I think outweighing someone by 100 pounds and being a foot or so taller than them probably does make a difference in how hand to hand combat would be interpreted in this case. She didn't hit him. She straddled him, and he didn't want to push her off, for fear it might hurt HER.

[Els]

I think outweighing someone by 100 pounds and being a foot or so taller than them probably does make a difference in how hand to hand combat would be interpreted in this case. She didn't hit him. She straddled him, and he didn't want to push her off, for fear it might hurt HER.

 

You realize that the main concept of sexual assault (or rape) is not violence or bodily injury, but lack of consent, yes?

[lollipopspot]

You realize that the main concept of sexual assault (or rape) is not violence or bodily injury, but lack of consent, yes?

 

I think if there is no perceived threat (very important), and you just stand there and don't do anything when you "easily" (his word) can, you have a hard case to make.

[Lani]

I think if there is no perceived threat (very important), and you just stand there and don't do anything when you "easily" (his word) can, you have a hard case to make.

 

It's not just about the physical aspect though.. there is a lot of psychological stuff that goes on with sexual assault, which yes, is harder to prove in court, but doesn't make it any less relevant.

 

If he perceives himself to have been sexually assaulted, then how can anyone else decide he wasn't? It's not an outside parties decision to make.

[lollipopspot]

It's not just about the physical aspect though.. there is a lot of psychological stuff that goes on with sexual assault, which yes, is harder to prove in court, but doesn't make it any less relevant.

 

If he perceives himself to have been sexually assaulted, then how can anyone else decide he wasn't? It's not an outside parties decision to make.

 

Well then I can be having sex with someone, not say anything or do anything, but internally decide that I don't want to do it anymore and that I'm being raped, and call it sexual assault.

 

I think the burden is higher, and even victims have some responsibility to be very clear about their wishes in the situation.

[somedude81]

Well then I can be having sex with someone, not say anything or do anything, but internally decide that I don't want to do it anymore and that I'm being raped, and call it sexual assault.

That actually happens.