ex still rings -getting mixed messages

[girl confused]

Hi out there,

 

Where do I begin. Well i broke up with my boyfriend of two yrs just two weeks ago because he said he needed to be single for a while and a week after we broke up he has started ringing me and sending me text messages on my phone. He wants us to be friends even though i told him at first I might not be able to handle it(as I am still hurting alot) but he still continues with the call and send messages.

 

We both mix with the same friends which makes things twice as hard to deal with, and if he knows I have gone out with our friends when he is not there he will ring or message me to see how the night went(sort of like he is a bit worried I might meet someone).

 

I have message him at times and talked to him at times to see if I could handle it and to try and be mature and act like I am not hurting as a part of me wants to let him think I can handle this. Anyway he has given indication that he would like us to sleep together and he has told me that he is not seeing anyone and does not want to meet anyone, but I just don't know what to make of this. He is the type of person who would just walk away from a relationship and move on so I am quite suprised that he was the one who rang me after our break up.

 

Our friends know that we are stil talking but I don't really tell them what we talk about.

 

A good friend of ours said to me last night that he knows that my ex is not with anyone or lokking for anyone, but I keep thinking then why doesn't he want us to be together?

 

Part of me is thinking

 

a) He has feelings for me but does not want me to be with anyone else

 

b)He wants to have his cake and eat it to

 

c) I am just a saftey net until he finds someone better.

 

d) He honestly does need a bit of space and is trying to holdd on to me so he won't lose me

 

We both get along really well but I am just so confused and I don't know what to make of all of this. I don't know if I should cut my losses and walk away ( as I would be gutted if he did meet someone else) or if I should just go with the flow and see what happens.

 

please help!

[girl confused]

1. We were having problems because he wasn't spending enough time with me, but had plenty of time for a female colleague at work.

 

2. I know this isn't healthy, but my self-esteem wasn't what it shoudl be because he cheated on me twice.

 

3. I just don't feel at times that he respects me like he should. We've really had our ups and downs over the last two years.

 

Cut my losses, or what??

 

Thanks for any advice, I really appreciate it.

[Tony T]

If I had to give a score value to each of your four theories, each with a maximum of 25 points...with the highest value being most true, I would give: A=30 B=40 C=25 D=5

 

This guy is just a royal jerk. He broke up with you...a break up is a break up. Now, he wants to use you until he finds someone else. He's a first class manipulator. I can think of no more major offense in life than to play with someone's feelings.

 

Now, you wrote that you broke up with him so you had to have a very compelling reason for doing so or you would not have done it...so you need to stick with your guns. If he broke up with you, don't even give him the time of day.

 

Everything in your post, except your first sentence, indicates that he initiated the break up so you need to move on quickly. This dude is a sick man.

 

If I have this wrong, give him my apologies. If you initiated the break up, then you'll easily understand why he is hurt but, for your own good, you need to cease all communication. If this was the scenario, you seem confused. I guess if we haven't satisfactoriily answered your querie, you must qualify this important information on whose idea the break up was.

[Tony T]

Sorry, just read the important points you added to your post.

 

Get out of this situation immediately. There is no way you can win. Cut your losses and run!!!