Regretting break up after 8 months

[BigGirlPantiesOn]

So sad all the bitterness here. Everyone who has been in pain by being dumped is projecting it all on her. She has done nothing to YOU, people.

 

OP sounds very young and which of us here hasn't made a regretful decision. She's probably kicking her own azz, does she really need you to kick it too?

 

You can give advice and share experience without shredding someone's dignity ffs.

[lauri]

This kind of reminds me of my ex...even after she spoke to me after 9 months, she is "confused" and "Doesn't know what she wants". I'm not here to tell you what to do, but my opinion is you should reach out and say what you have to say.

[chris21422]

Funny people on here is full of bitterness lol. people make mistakes. You guys prob made mistakes too when you are in a relationship.

 

People who are saying think before you leap are just plain stupid the OP knows it. She clearly said it on her post. Instead of saying non sense things why people on here just give a actual advice rather than being bitter because of being broken hearted. lol

[STM206]

It's not being bitter it's being honest.

 

Those who have been dumped have been slapped across the face because of situations like this. More often than not we've reached out in hopes to salvage something that we felt was worth saving - only to get told to **** off.

 

This ex of the OP tried numerous times to reconcile and got shut down.

 

Now that he's finally picked up the pieces and started moving forward... Now she wants to try again? I'm sorry but just like dumpees, sometimes dumpers need to have a reality check as well... You can't have your cake and eat it too.

 

To the OP, I'm sorry you're hurting but perhaps this is a life lesson that so many of us dumpees are trying to figure out as well. I think next time you're invested in someone, maybe really think about what it is you want to do when times are rough instead of making rash decisions. I believe you had a case of GIGS and realized it wasn't what you really wanted deep down.

 

Out of respect for your ex I would leave him be. It sounds like he had a long journey of heartbreak and he's finally seeing the light again.

 

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

 

Keep your chin up.

[No Limit]

I rather read bitter comments here than people advising her how to annoy her ex for ages until he finally has to get a restraining order.

 

You let him go, and he went. Move on.

[FredJones80]

People who are saying think before you leap are just plain stupid

 

Thank you

[stillafool]

I find it odd that you said the only reason you wanted to break up with him was because of your work load and your being too tired for sex. Then to go on to say how you enjoyed being single and traveling with your friends. Then when he asked you back again you didn't want him. Now because he is dating a beautiful girl you want him back. How selfish is that? Good luck trying to get him back because you know how men are when it comes to looks, not to mention if she is good in bed and a sweetie - ha! never.

[DianeBenessi]

I broke up with him because I was under lots of pressure and stress and I can't really maintain having a relationship and having a career.

 

I'll say it again as written on my post I was happy the first 3 months being single. That's why when he reach out last January of 2014 I rejected him.

 

after that He did the no contact with me and I started to miss him like crazy and think about him most of the days but I didn't do anything as I am blocked in every way possible of contacting him and thinking he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

 

Then I saw him with other girl 2 weeks ago that's when my emotions for him triggered again. I remembered how good he was and how I wasted our relationship.

 

I get that everybody here is mad about the things I did. I am mad with myself too and I made some terrible mistakes but that doesn't make me a bad person.

 

I am not contacting him anymore as I will just try to move on from this. It's hard but I made this decision months ago and I need to face it.

 

Thanks everyone

 

 

I find it odd that you said the only reason you wanted to break up with him was because of your work load and your being too tired for sex. Then to go on to say how you enjoyed being single and traveling with your friends. Then when he asked you back again you didn't want him. Now because he is dating a beautiful girl you want him back. How selfish is that? Good luck trying to get him back because you know how men are when it comes to looks, not to mention if she is good in bed and a sweetie - ha! never.

[Simon Phoenix]

This kind of reminds me of my ex...even after she spoke to me after 9 months, she is "confused" and "Doesn't know what she wants". I'm not here to tell you what to do, but my opinion is you should reach out and say what you have to say.

 

I would not suggest this, at least not right now. I mean, be honest, if this guy was with an average-looking woman, or a below-average looking woman, would she be nearly this broken up about it? I'm guessing not. This seems more like a hit to her ego rather than genuine feelings for her ex. Last thing she needs to be doing is trying to play contact games like your ex does.

 

I'm not going to rip on you OP, but what's done is done. You got rid of him once, you rejected him a second time and now he's with someone else. You have to leave it be and move forward. This is what you ultimately wanted. And honestly, you need figure out how to multi-task effectively, because your life is only going to get busier as you get older. Just work on you and let life take its course.

[inlin]

Well you have 3 options.

1) Contact him and let him know how you feel now and he might feel the same.

2) Wait for another time to reconnect if they ever break up, but dont wait for him

3) Do nothing and continue on

 

If it comes down to relationships, at least for me as a guy, personality and compatibility will always take over looks. At least in the long run. If he feels the same and is willing to talk to you then why not. You have nothing to lose.

 

I know what I said was harsh, but you never know what can come out of it. Don't let ego or pride get in the way.

 

But you do have to consider the fact if you are serious about it or not. If you will work out your differences and get along. Don't do it to pump up your ego/self-esteem.

Edited May 22, 2014 by inlin

[unoelo1]

Maybe it's because I'm a pretty forgiving person in general, but everyone makes mistakes and, for some, it may take a long time before these mistakes are realized.

 

 

I agree with inlin, you've got nothing to lose, reach out and see what happens. If you do nothing, you might live the rest of your life wondering "what if?". But please be sure that these feelings that you're having are genuine, and it's not just jealousy from seeing your ex dating someone so attractive. I would hate for you to break his heart again sometime down the track.

 

 

Maybe, before you do reach out, give yourself a few weeks to think about whether these are genuine feelings or just jealousy.

[Simon Phoenix]

He's in a relationship. I think it'd be pretty sketchy for her to show up all of a sudden because she knows he's with someone. She should show respect and let that relationship run its course.

[Michael 93]

OP I think you are confusing your love for this man.

 

I think your ego has taken a major hit knowing he has somebody beautiful now and you want to try and know you can get control of him again..

 

As soon as you know you have the grip on him I could put my money you would feel as you did when you broke up.

 

Give him his time to be happy.

 

With all due respect. He wanted you... You didnt want him

[DKT3]

Here is how I see it. You has a good guy who was likely too available. With the stress at work you felt you could take a "break" from the relationship.

 

Honestly, did you feel he would kinda aways be around? Seems that as long as he was pushing you were ok because that meant and showed he was still interested. Once he pulled back you got scared, seeing him with the other woman means your no longer in control of the relationship.

 

What I'm saying is you thought when you were ready you would be able to simply pick the relationship up where you left off.

 

I believe that you are very much in love with him, this is no emotional trick, not driven by jealousy. You simply took too long. Sometimes love means letting go, you've hurt him enough show that you love him and let him live his life.

 

Learn for the future, when you have a life partner find comfort in that person when thing are tough. Don't push them away.

[SpiritualAlchemy]

Oh well, my dear, you made a mistake, but you'll get over it. You're making the right decision to leave him alone.

 

Don't worry, you'll find someone else. Go find happiness.

[jphcbpa]

Maybe it's because I'm a pretty forgiving person in general, but everyone makes mistakes and, for some, it may take a long time before these mistakes are realized.

 

 

I agree with inlin, you've got nothing to lose, reach out and see what happens. If you do nothing, you might live the rest of your life wondering "what if?". But please be sure that these feelings that you're having are genuine, and it's not just jealousy from seeing your ex dating someone so attractive. I would hate for you to break his heart again sometime down the track.

 

 

Maybe, before you do reach out, give yourself a few weeks to think about whether these are genuine feelings or just jealousy.

 

Strongly agree with this. Do some much needed talking, writing, praying ect and see how you feel in 3 to 4 weeks.

[KaliLove]

OP, if you hadn't seen a picture of him with another woman, would you still be missing him and wanting him back right now?

[soccerrprp]

Leave him be. He may be in a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates him more than you did. Leave him alone.

[DianeBenessi]

When I rejected him he did the No Contact with me. He told me he understand and respect my decision and said he won't bother me anymore.

 

I was fine till I haven't heard from him for like 3 months. I secretly think of him at the back of my mind from time to time and wanting to contact him but I am blocked of all possible way of contacting him.

 

I do want to talk to him and see where it goes but I didn't.

 

If I didn't see the picture I think I will still be missing him and wanting to talk to him but I won't go crazy like this.

 

I think the picture triggered it more because since I saw that picture I've been going crazy and wanting him more and more.

 

 

 

OP, if you hadn't seen a picture of him with another woman, would you still be missing him and wanting him back right now?

[jbelle6]

well i have seen this a hundred times., with women, not saying they all do this, but alot of them do. in their relationship they start of with not much, maybe high school education. maybe you have a basement suite. then you meet your boyfriend. and you start getting more on your plate. he helps you with this and that. you have to help him with that and this. and eventually one side buckles because they cant make their relationship work with their career and life. even though the other half has been doing it since the day you met.

 

and most of the time it is the women who buckles. so dont feel bad about that part. i think women are naturally designed to take other types of stress. like crying babies and what not. men can take physical like work and very little rest.

 

 

 

 

your instincts told you that he was the problem but in reality the problem was not him. it was you, you couldnt handle work and you came home to find yourself exhausted and when he wanted to make love to you, you would shut him down.

 

now that victoria secret is riding him you want him back. i have seen this pattern with women so many times.

 

all i can say is. theres 2 options. number one. message him everything you feel and need to say. and wait to see if he rejects you or takes you back, number two. live with your mistake and always ask what if , for the rest of your life.

 

the way i look at relationships. if your brother, sister, daughter, mom, dad , argued with you or stressed you out sometimes, would you get rid of them? no, but you look at your bf and say, i can do w,e i want with him. who knows, maybe he feels the way about her he used to feel about you, sorry but this is the only info and advice i can give you

 

 

 

 

 

 

Women??? Bull. Men do this same thing too. One of my exes dumped me, his brother sees me making out with a Czechoslovakian hockey player and

who do you think calls begging for me back. The women hate on this site can be a bit silly since anything that is described as "women" behavior has been done to ME.

[me85]

Damn right. This is like a dumpee's wet dream story

 

 

YOU'RE AWESOME FRED! LOL Exxxxxxactly!

[FredJones80]

Czechoslovakian

 

Surely you're not old enough to have been making out over 20 years ago ?

[FredJones80]

Exxxxxxactly

 

I see what you did there

[DianeBenessi]

I agree, I dont think this is just a woman behavior.

 

Though it happens to most often to us women..

 

I think I'll be removing my ex family members on my Facebook.

 

Women??? Bull. Men do this same thing too. One of my exes dumped me, his brother sees me making out with a Czechoslovakian hockey player and

who do you think calls begging for me back. The women hate on this site can be a bit silly since anything that is described as "women" behavior has been done to ME.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

While the OP made a mistake, I dont understand all the constant bashing and trash talking. I imagine this comes from very insecure places for most of you and a "HAHA" taunt to many of your ex's who you wish would do the EXACT same thing. Maturity: Get some.

 

OP, it sucks but what can you do? You did make the decision and these are some of just the repercussions of those actions. I think its way more ego than anything right now. You held the power by breaking up and him wanting you back. You felt you had the control. When he moved on and found someone else, your ego and pride were crushed. When you said that his new girl was a "Victoria Secert model", that shows way more pride than anything.

 

Whats done is done. Let it go. If you do visit this site again since its been a week since this threads has been active.