Why does he get jealous about other guys if he just sexually wants me?

[Peacekeeper]

I assume that he just wants me sexually, I mean he shows the signs that he just wants me as a **** buddy, but I could be wrong. But everytime I bring up a guy, he cuts me off, or he just gets stupidly angry. But yet he'll sometimes bring up girls that he had sex with. He was on my laptop and he was on his Facebook and he was laughing at what my mom said on FB. So I noticed my old friend commented on what my mom said, and I said "Tyler H? I didn't know my mom is friends with him! Wow! Click on his page" and then he clicked on his page and he was like "How do you know him?" I said "He's an old friend" He said "Did you **** him?" I said "No" He said "You ****ed him!" and he clicked off the page and got up all mad.

 

I could go on and on about stories of his jealousy with me and guys. It is so noticeable. But yet he seems to only be sexually attracted to me, he is kinda the player type. He is not that type that commits. So that is why I don't get why it matters who I go out with and such if he just wants a **** buddy? Also he'll say all the time "Where you going?" "You look nice where you going?" And he had to use my phone and I said "Don't go through my pics" He said "Why do you got nude pics or something?" I said "No" He said "Let me see these nudies!" and then I said "don't go through my messages and he said "Why are you so jumpy? You sexting guys or something?" I just don't get it. Maybe is it something else? What do you think?

[Salvatore85]

The better question is why do you continue talking to him?

[pteromom]

Because guys are territorial, and even though he doesn't want to commit to you, he doesn't want other guys messing with his territory.

 

But before you go feeling mushy about that, it's NOT a good thing.

 

It means he doesn't care enough about what you want and need to actually commit to you, but he cares enough about his own needs to make sure he keeps you corralled.

[TigerLilly78]

I tend to agree with what others have said but its also possible hes starting to develop some feelings for you but since hes never been the commitment type hes fighting it. But like some one else said don't get all happy in the pants when I say that cause its just a possibility. You need to confront him and ask what the deal is. Just ask him exactly what you asked us and tell him he needs to ether stop this behavior or man up and be more then a boink buddy..

[stillafool]

No man wants sloppy seconds. If you are going to see other people that's okay but must you discuss it with him? Tell him you don't want to hear about the other girls he sleeps with and that you won't talk to him about other guys. I think this should be a rule with FWBs.

[spiderowl]

The guy is scarily controlling. This is likely to get worse. He is not just jealous. He is trying to read your messages, look at your pictures and quiz you about all your relationships. I don't know what he is offering you exactly, but it doesn't sound very nice and loving. I think he has the potential to be an abuser in this relationship.

 

Read up about abusive relationships and find out for yourself. You have admitted that he doesn't appear to be offering you love, but I presume you are in some kind of sexual relationship with him. For him then, it appears to be about sex and control. Where is the love?

[Madrigale]

Because guys are territorial, and even though he doesn't want to commit to you, he doesn't want other guys messing with his territory.

 

But before you go feeling mushy about that, it's NOT a good thing.

 

It means he doesn't care enough about what you want and need to actually commit to you, but he cares enough about his own needs to make sure he keeps you corralled.

 

YES. Dump his territorial, selfish ass.

[preraph]

Guys jealous in that double-standard way are a BIG red flag. Let's hope he moves on, for your sake. Jealousy usually stems from insecurity. But lots of people are jealous and the important thing is how they handle it, whether they have enough empathy to respect you and not make it your problem. Unfortunately, he is the bad kind of jealous.

[Peacekeeper]

No man wants sloppy seconds. If you are going to see other people that's okay but must you discuss it with him? Tell him you don't want to hear about the other girls he sleeps with and that you won't talk to him about other guys. I think this should be a rule with FWBs.

 

 

I don't care about the girls he sleeps with though. I don't care to hear it. I also never had sex with him. I am just friends with him but it seems like that is all he wants out of me is FWB type of a deal. Like I said I could be wrong, but that is what it seems like. Thank you.

 

The guy is scarily controlling. This is likely to get worse. He is not just jealous. He is trying to read your messages, look at your pictures and quiz you about all your relationships. I don't know what he is offering you exactly, but it doesn't sound very nice and loving. I think he has the potential to be an abuser in this relationship.

 

Read up about abusive relationships and find out for yourself. You have admitted that he doesn't appear to be offering you love, but I presume you are in some kind of sexual relationship with him. For him then, it appears to be about sex and control. Where is the love?

 

 

No I am no in sexual relationship with him. I am just platonic friends with him. I have been friends with him for awhile though like 2 years? In those 2 years he has always tried to have sex with me, but I wouldn't allow it cause i'm not that type and he's a player type. I am a relationship type of a girl, so I didn't subject myself to that. Thank you though for the info! I do agree, cause there are many occasions where he got really weird, and possessive. It was strange. But thanks!

 

Guys jealous in that double-standard way are a BIG red flag. Let's hope he moves on, for your sake. Jealousy usually stems from insecurity. But lots of people are jealous and the important thing is how they handle it, whether they have enough empathy to respect you and not make it your problem. Unfortunately, he is the bad kind of jealous.

 

 

Right! He is the bad kind of jealous. I mean it's not all the time, it's a lot though. He'll say "Where you going?" "What are you doing?" In a way he acts like he's my boyfriend, and it's kinda odd. But thanks for the advice!

[preraph]

You need to cut him loose because the bad jealous types, the longer they stay around, the more time they feel they invest in you (because it's stressful for them to try to deal with their anger and trying to control), the harder they are to get rid of. I promise he will try to keep you from having a real bf. You need to tell him it's time for them both to move on. He'll be trying to control you and may become abusive. Red flags everywhere.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I swear I'm having a deja vu moment reading this OP!

 

Regardless, I responded to this when you posted it under theCheating, Flirting, and Jealousy page.

 

Hope you found what you were looking for.