Let's assist somedude81 with online dating!

[somedude81]

My OLD profile just isn't working. I know it needs major work.

 

Profile Name: Naughty_Neff_81 ( Neff is replaced by my real name which also starts with N)

My self-summary

 

People say I'm a fun guy and very easy going.

What I’m doing with my life

 

I'm currently taking time off work so I can go back to school and finish up my degree in business administration information systems. I'll be done this year and then I'll reenter the corporate world.

 

I’m really good at

 

Salsa dancing as well as other types of ballroom dancing. It's just so much fun to do a structured couples dance. It's a lot easier to dance than you think it is, and don’t worry, I can teach you!

 

I do computer repair and other technology support.

 

I'm also a great listener.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

 

My favorite show is Game of Thrones. Brooklyn Nine Nine is great and I like Archer as well. I watch a lot of anime. If you don't know what that is, that's fine. If you do, tell me some of your favorite shows.

 

For music I like alternative rock, Offspring, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Fall out boy etc. I also really enjoy ambient beats when I just want to chill.

 

I'm a gamer, enjoy Dark Souls and Elder Scrolls and everything in between. Of course I know when to put down the controller and give you the attention you deserve. Of course you're welcome to play along.

I’m looking for

 

Straight girls only

Ages 22-34

Near me

Who are single

For long-term dating, short-term dating

 

You should message me if

 

You're a down to Earth woman who likes to dance, have fun or just play a game or two.

----------------------------------------

 

Two of the pictures used in my LoveShack are used in my OLD profile.

 

I know I need to change the name, but I'm not sure what to.

 

Honestly, I'm really bad at talking and writing about myself.

 

Is there anyway to salvage my profile?

[normal person]

My self-summary

 

People say I'm a fun guy and very easy going.

 

So here's your big chance to differentiate yourself from the pack and describe your life in the most unique, attractive way possible ... and you give one sentence that hundreds of thousands of other people give. Surely there's more to your life than just that.

 

What makes you different? What are your defining character traits? Your best qualities? Give examples, don't just say it. Think about the way you live, what you're after in life and how you're getting it. Then put that into words. Ask your friends to describe you.

 

It's not a terrible profile, but it's pretty interchangeable with any other "fun, easy going" person's. Of which there are many. Set yourself apart.

[somedude81]

So here's your big chance to differentiate yourself from the pack and describe your life in the most unique, attractive way possible ... and you give one sentence that hundreds of thousands of other people give. Surely there's more to your life than just that.

 

What makes you different? What are your defining character traits? Your best qualities? Give examples, don't just say it. Think about the way you live, what you're after in life and how you're getting it. Then put that into words. Ask your friends to describe you.

 

It's not a terrible profile, but it's pretty interchangeable with any other "fun, easy going" person's. Of which there are many. Set yourself apart.

Thanks for saying my profile isn't terrible Though in order to get women to reply to me, I need to be a bit better than not terrible

 

For the longest time my self-summary was blank

 

What makes me different? I don't know.

 

Character traits and qualities?

 

Easy going, funny, persistent, quick learner. Have good common sense.

 

What I'm currently after in life, besides a woman, is to finish college which has taken me absolutely f-ing forever.

 

Same names I thought of are

 

GodzillaGoogles or GoGoGodzilla

SuaveServal (that's the cat in my avatar)

DangerDancer

[preraph]

Take out the "naughty." Women find that creepy and like you are shouting that you only want sex. The rest is good!

[awesome0]

dude remove that your not working. Just put that you're in school, what your studying and where you plan to go with it.

 

 

Also make the video game part a little broader. I'm a gamer but I broadly put video games as a hobby. Don't worry you'll be playing less and less of them as time goes on lol

[awesome0]

What's your profile headline?

[somedude81]

Take out the "naughty." Women find that creepy and like you are shouting that you only want sex. The rest is good!

 

Yeah I know that. I've actually had a couple of women help me on my profile and they both didn't like my name.

 

I'll change the name once I find a cool alternative.

 

dude remove that your not working. Just put that you're in school, what your studying and where you plan to go with it.

OK, so how about this?

 

I'm currently finishing up my degree in business administration information systems. I'll finally be done this year!

 

Also make the video game part a little broader. I'm a gamer but I broadly put video games as a hobby. Don't worry you'll be playing less and less of them as time goes on lol

What do you mean by broader?

 

I really want a girl who doesn't mind videogames and it will be a huge plus if she plays them with me.

[normal person]

Thanks for saying my profile isn't terrible Though in order to get women to reply to me, I need to be a bit better than not terrible

 

So you need to pique their interest. You don't do that with the same generic stuff she's read a million times.

 

 

 

What makes me different? I don't know.

 

Character traits and qualities?

 

Easy going, funny, persistent, quick learner. Have good common sense.

 

You're definitely persistent, I'll give you that. You can't just mention it though, you should provide examples concisely and with a joke or two -- because you say you're funny too. Ideally the name of the game is "show, don't tell." Anyone can say they're x, y, and z. The best profiles/people don't need to list mere qualities, they're apparent from what they write about themselves and their actions and thoughts.

 

Think about this:

 

"I love animals and I'm funny." The end. So believable, right?

 

versus

 

"I spend a lot of free time time volunteering at an animal shelter. Although in actuality, cleaning up cat s*** for no pay isn't quite as much fun as it sounds, I still love the work because..."

 

See what I mean?

[awesome0]

most women really don't mind video games just not to much of them. I just put literally, video games, in between all my other hobbies.

[somedude81]

So you need to pique their interest. You don't do that with the same generic stuff she's read a million times.

 

 

 

 

 

You're definitely persistent, I'll give you that. You can't just mention it though, you should provide examples concisely and with a joke or two -- because you say you're funny too. Ideally the name of the game is "show, don't tell." Anyone can say they're x, y, and z. The best profiles/people don't need to list mere qualities, they're apparent from what they write about themselves and their actions and thoughts.

 

Think about this:

 

"I love animals and I'm funny." The end. So believable, right?

 

versus

 

"I spend a lot of free time time volunteering at an animal shelter. Although in actuality, cleaning up cat s*** for no pay isn't quite as much fun as it sounds, I still love the work because..."

 

See what I mean?

I definitely can be funny, as I'm sure I've demonstrated on this forum many times. But I'm not a stand up comic. I can't manufacture funny, for me it's situational. That's why I'm having such a hard time trying to add humor to my profile.

 

My persistence is mainly shown in me refusing to give up on school, playing something like Dark Souls when I should just put the damn controller down, and chasing college girls. I also think I'm very good at not taking advice

 

I have no clue what to use for a head line.

Edited May 22, 2014 by somedude81

[lollipopspot]

Two of the pictures used in my LoveShack are used in my OLD profile.

 

I do not like that main picture of you on LS to use in your OLD profile. You look serious and a little sad. Do you have a more candid photo in which you are laughing or smiling (not forced) and looking more carefree? I think getting good pictures is as or more important than getting good words. Your picture does not match your easygoing portrayal of yourself somehow. JMO.

[El Brujo]

What I’m doing with my life

 

I'm currently taking time off work so I can go back to school and finish up my degree in business administration information systems. I'll be done this year and then I'll reenter the corporate world.

 

Dude, you should hide your profile until AFTER you finish school, get that dream job, and pay off all your debts. If women see you're in school instead of working, they'll probably assume you're already meeting women in school and dating them... so why would you be posting on OLD to meet women? It makes no sense.

 

BTW I'm in a similar boat, but not going full public yet. I'm slaving away in a dead-end day job, I've never been to college and I think of college as kind of a black hole anyway... however at the end of this month, I am enrolling in a class to get my building inspector license, and only after I get that and start making money with it (and kiss my day job good riddance) am I going to start getting serious about meeting women.

 

In the meantime, I'll run my meetup groups... but after I get my new job, I'll be fighting from a position of strength. You also should hold off until after you graduate.

[CarrieT]

I'm a gamer, enjoy Dark Souls and Elder Scrolls and everything in between. Of course I know when to put down the controller and give you the attention you deserve. Of course you're welcome to play along.

 

Remove the first "of course." You are writing it as though it is a given you know how to do that, but by using "of course" twice, it sounds condescending.

[somedude81]

I do not like that main picture of you on LS to use in your OLD profile. You look serious and a little sad. Do you have a more candid photo in which you are laughing or smiling (not forced) and looking more carefree? I think getting good pictures is as or more important than getting good words. Your picture does not match your easygoing portrayal of yourself somehow. JMO.

 

Ha ha!

 

Very good of you to pick that up.

 

I was lamenting over the fact that I don't have any good photos of myself. So I set out on a mission to take some selfies.....and that's the best I came up with.

 

I'm absolutely horrible at taking non-forced photos. The only good photos of me where I look truly happy, are the ones where I'm with my ex

 

Remove the first "of course." You are writing it as though it is a given you know how to do that, but by using "of course" twice, it sounds condescending.

I just caught that I used "of course" twice, but I didn't realize it also came across as condescending. Thanks for pointing that out.

 

How does this sound?

 

 

I'm a gamer, enjoy Dark Souls and Elder Scrolls and everything in between. Of course I know when to put down the controller and give you the attention you deserve. You're more than welcome to play along too.

 

By all means, show me what you're good. I love experiencing new things!

[somedude81]

Dude, you should hide your profile until AFTER you finish school, get that dream job, and pay off all your debts. If women see you're in school instead of working, they'll probably assume you're already meeting women in school and dating them... so why would you be posting on OLD to meet women? It makes no sense.

 

BTW I'm in a similar boat, but not going full public yet. I'm slaving away in a dead-end day job, I've never been to college and I think of college as kind of a black hole anyway... however at the end of this month, I am enrolling in a class to get my building inspector license, and only after I get that and start making money with it (and kiss my day job good riddance) am I going to start getting serious about meeting women.

 

In the meantime, I'll run my meetup groups... but after I get my new job, I'll be fighting from a position of strength. You also should hold off until after you graduate.

I'm graduating in December and there is no way I want to stay single until then.

 

 

------------------------

How is this for a headline

 

"Grab your coat and let's start walking "

Edited May 22, 2014 by somedude81

[normal person]

I definitely can be funny, as I'm sure I've demonstrated on this forum many times. But I'm not a stand up comic. I can't manufacture funny, for me it's situational. That's why I'm having such a hard time trying to add humor to my profile.

 

Saying anything is pointless unless you can prove it. Like I said: show, don't tell. Maybe leave "funny" off for now. Demonstrate something, don't just assure someone you have a quality when you can't show it. It's just wasting space.

 

I'm graduating in December and there is no way I want to stay single until then.

 

So we're back to this again. It's fine if you want to try, but most women don't want a guy your age who's still in school. Your success isn't really dependent on what you want, it's dependent on what they want.

 

That being said, I don't think there's any point in hiding the fact that you're still in school. If you can at least show that you're ambitious enough to try and change your circumstances, and you can say it with confidence (which it seems like you have) that might be enough for some women out there.

 

And another thing: in a perfect world, people would accept everyone for who they are and how they spend their time. But they don't. For someone your age, saying that you spend a lot of time playing video games might be of off-putting to a lot of women. I would leave that out and talk more about your dancing, that's a lot more appealing to women. It's fun, active, social, and sexy. Video games are insular, self-indulgent, escapist, and juvenile. The time you spend playing them could be spent bettering yourself somehow. Would you prefer someone who actively went out and accomplished things? Or someone who sat at home and escaped reality?

 

If you really think video games are that important to your identity, then leave it in -- but then don't wonder why woman don't come knocking.

[Million.to.1]

I'm absolutely horrible at taking non-forced photos. The only good photos of me where I look truly happy, are the ones where I'm with my ex

 

Crop her out! Or if a pic could look like you are just with a sister or friend, blur her head. Recent photos are good.

 

Just my opinion, but I have never like profiles that say things like... "i like dancing, I can show you how!" .. or I know when to give YOU the attention YOU deserve" etc...

I find it kinda creepy that someone has already assumed that I am that person, or anybody reading the profile could be. Sounds a bit desperate if you know what I mean... it's too assumptive.

Better if it was worded differently...eg; " I know when to give the woman in my life the attention they deserve" or "I know when to put the controller down for some special time with my lady"

 

I was always most attracted to profiles that were quite complete. Even long. had to make me laugh at least once... and had a general feeling that this person really knew what they wanted in life... including what he wanted or expected from a partner. I wanted to be good enough to meet this guys standards. That's something you don't see much on mens profiles. They all just kind of try and come across as nice as they can so anyone will get in touch.... but i think they men who do well on OLD are assertive enough to state what they are looking for and quite specifically. Including dreams and values and what they want to share with their partner.

 

Things you should think about covering too...

 

Religious views

political views

whether you would like kids one day with the right person.

where you have traveled and what your dream destinations would be..

 

And be more specific in what you are looking for because right now you are basically saying anyone within a certain age and distance from you will do.

 

 

Also adding things like "if i was the king of the world for the day I would... Or if i won the lottery I would... "

You can inject humour into things like this and share your dreams/ values without having to sound too formal about it.

[Million.to.1]

 

 

.... but most women don't want a guy your age who's still in school. Your success isn't really dependent on what you want, it's dependent on what they want.

 

That's not completely true. As a woman who has herself been an adult student before, I wouldn't immediately judge A GUY who has gone back to school later if life. what a hypocrite i would be!

 

For someone your age, saying that you spend a lot of time playing video games might be of off-putting to a lot of women. I would leave that out and talk more about your dancing, that's a lot more appealing to women. It's fun, active, social, and sexy.

If you really think video games are that important to your identity, then leave it in -- but then don't wonder why woman don't come knocking.

 

I agree with this. Gloss over the gaming if you are going to include it. It might be a turn off for quite a lot of woman. And first impressions here are really important.

[Million.to.1]

Ha! I just realised Somedude probably can't see any of my Posts anyway. Think I'm on the ignore list after my last attempt at advice!

[Imajerk17]

Hey somedude81, it would help if you post your most recent version of your profile. As in the revisions you made since you started this thread. That way we aren't commenting on text you already changed. My comments in the meanwhile...

 

1. Change your user_name "Naughty...." asap. Please. It's just creepy. Even "{yourFirstName} 81" say would be MUCH better.

 

2. Change your desired age-range to say 25--35. I get that you are open to dating women who are 21 and you aren't interested in women older than you. However changing your age-range preferences as I suggested will make it easier for you even to date the 21-year-olds. See it will assuage concerns that you are a cradle-robber, and no woman wants to date a cradle-robber.

 

I'm 41 and I dated more women in their 20s from match (when I was into trying much younger) when I raised my minimum age to 32 haha.

 

3. Pictures pictures pictures. Hopefully you have some pictures of you doing fun things w your friends--see where I am going w this?

Edited May 22, 2014 by Imajerk17

[somedude81]

Updated

My self-summary

 

People say I'm a fun guy and very easy going.

 

What I’m doing with my life

 

I'm currently finishing up my degree in business administration information systems. I'll finally be done this year!

 

Interests and skills

 

I’m really good at Salsa dancing as well as other types of ballroom dancing. It's just so much fun to do a structured couples dance. It's a lot easier to dance than you think it is, and don’t worry, I can teach you!

 

I do computer repair and other technology support.

 

I'm also a great listener.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

 

My favorite show is Game of Thrones. Brooklyn Nine Nine is great and I like Archer as well. I watch a lot of anime. If you don't know what that is, that's fine. If you do, tell me some of your favorite shows.

 

For music I like alternative rock, Offspring, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Fall out boy etc. I also really enjoy ambient beats when I just want to chill.

 

I'm a gamer, enjoy Dark Souls and Elder Scrolls and everything in between. Of course I know when to put down the controller and give you the attention you deserve. You're more than welcome to play along too.

 

By all means, show me what you're good too. I love experiencing new things!

1. Change your user_name "Naughty...." asap. Please. It's just creepy. Even "{yourFirstName} 81" say would be MUCH better.

How does DancesWithDanger sound?

 

I need an interesting name. Not something stupid like my name + numbers.

 

2. Change your desired age-range to say 25--35. I get that you are open to dating women who are 21 and you aren't interested in women older than you. However changing your age-range preferences as I suggested will make it easier for you even to date the 21-year-olds. See it will assuage concerns that you are a cradle-robber, and no woman wants to date a cradle-robber.

 

I'm 41 and I dated more women in their 20s from match (when I was into trying much younger) when I raised my minimum age to 32 haha.

I don't understand that point of excluding women I'm interested in.

 

 

I got all the pictures of me that are barely halfway decent up there. Frankly I hate how I look in the vast majority of them.

[somedude81]

Ha! I just realised Somedude probably can't see any of my Posts anyway. Think I'm on the ignore list after my last attempt at advice!

 

Yes you're still ignored, but you had three posts in a row so I was curious what you wrote.

 

In the pictures with my ex, my hair is much longer than I have it now. I just don't think I look as good then as I do now. Also, I really don't want to look at any pictures with her in them. I can vividly picture them in my mind, but I don't want to see them.

 

Just my opinion, but I have never like profiles that say things like... "i like dancing, I can show you how!" .. or I know when to give YOU the attention YOU deserve" etc...

I find it kinda creepy that someone has already assumed that I am that person, or anybody reading the profile could be. Sounds a bit desperate if you know what I mean... it's too assumptive.

It was actually suggest to me by a woman on this forum to use the YOU's. I'll have to see what the general consensus is.

 

My profile is complete depending on what dating site I am on. Yes I know it still needs more work, that's why I made this thread.

And be more specific in what you are looking for because right now you are basically saying anyone within a certain age and distance from you will do.

She also has to be cute and of a certain race. But other than that, you are correct.

[MidwestUSA]

By all means, show me what you're good too.

 

^^fix that sentence. I know you just missed a word or something.

 

 

As for jerk's suggestion about the age range, he's right. You may be able to get the 21 year olds without saying it, but you'll rule out a LOT more potentials by having women wonder WHY you're willing to go that young.

 

 

Cradle robber + DancesWithDanger? Eeew. That would negate any good things I might read in your profile.

[somedude81]

By all means, show me what you're good too.

 

^^fix that sentence. I know you just missed a word or something.

 

 

As for jerk's suggestion about the age range, he's right. You may be able to get the 21 year olds without saying it, but you'll rule out a LOT more potentials by having women wonder WHY you're willing to go that young.

 

 

Cradle robber + DancesWithDanger? Eeew. That would negate any good things I might read in your profile.

Thanks for catching my typo.

 

I changed my limits to 22-34. BTW, PoF doesn't even show what age range people prefer.

 

Would women I message who are under 25 wonder why I'm messaging them if I didn't include them in the age bracket?

If my name is bad, please help me think of a new one. All I've had were people pointing out how bad the ones I come up with are

[MidwestUSA]

Thanks for catching my typo.

 

If my name is bad, please help me think of a new one. All I've had were people pointing out how bad the ones I come up with are

 

Yea, I know, my brain's fried right now. I'll think on it. .