Let's assist somedude81 with online dating!

[somedude81]

Are they true to how you really look?

 

I am not photogenic. I almost always look better in person (I have been told often). So in order to get a "true" picture, I have to get a few shots. I also think some faces look better in motion.

 

I think your top priority for your posting needs to be to get better pictures, because even if they like your words, if your pictures don't match your presentation of yourself as a fun, easy going guy (I don't think they do), then you are likely to be passed over.

 

Get better pictures!

 

I agree with Kathy that that main one makes you look older than you are. It may be that you have a more mature look (nothing wrong with that), but I suspect it's just not a good picture. Consider hairstyle and clothing too, as Kathy said. Maybe go to a salon and talk to someone there, and go to someplace with shoppers that help with clothes, just to get an idea of how you could switch things up.

I wonder if I should just pay to get professional pictures of me done.

 

I am definitely not photogenic. I've looked through every picture I have on my FaceBook and they're all terrible. I look so much better in the mirror.

 

My hair doesn't have product in it in any picture I have online. The one with long hair in my album is a joke and not in my OLD.

 

I'm also trying to pose and fake a smile. I suck at doing that.

 

This thread has had an unintended affect of showing me that perhaps I'm just wasting my time trying to date online. I'm just not attractive enough, in how I look and describe myself.

[organizedchaos]

Some of this depends on what kind of women you want to attract. Other than age, dancing and video game interest, what other qualities are you looking for in a woman? Do you want someone who likes to travel, likes doing outdoorsy stuff, likes wine, likes to go out to eat, likes going to live music events, has a college degree, has a career, is into fashion, likes to read, is an introvert, is an extrovert, likes to hike, likes to ride bikes, likes to lay around at the beach, is spontaneous and adventurous, is into running or working out, loves dogs ....etc...? Consider what type of life you want to have with whatever woman you end up with. What is she like? What do you do for fun? You get up on Saturday morning...what does your ideal day look like? What do the two of you do on Tuesday night?

 

Determining some of the above can help you tailor your profile to show that woman why she should pick you above all of the other men who are sending her messages. The key to your profile is remembering that the woman reading your profile knows nothing about you, and every word of your profile clues her in to who you are. It is very easy to turn someone off in a dating profile.

 

As far as your username, there is nothing wrong with using your name followed by a number or something somewhat bland like that. That kind of username will not offend or turn anyone off. Other types of usernames can easily do so. Some of the suggestions above seem kind of corny to me, but that's your call. SalsaKnights is probably my favorite of the suggestions made so far, if you want something a little different.

 

 

 

I agree with removing the "People say." It makes you sound not confident.

 

"I'm an easy going, fun guy who [insert something witty/funny/attention grabbing about you.]"

 

 

 

"After [doing whatever type of work you used to do], I went back to get up my degree in business administration information systems. I'll finish this year, and then I plan to work/get a job doing [insert what you want to do. Make it witty.]

 

 

 

I always think "I'm a great listener" type statements mean the guy is going to be mute or that he expects me to talk a lot. Eh.

 

Tell an anecdote about something funny that happened when you were doing computer repair or other technology support.

 

 

 

Food?

 

 

 

Ok.

 

 

 

I feel like everyone asks for the "down to Earth" woman.

 

"have fun..." -- does anyone not want to have fun? This is throwaway.

 

"play a game or two..." -- you might eliminate women who don't like gaming.

 

This is where you can really stand out.

 

"You love to dance (or want to learn how), ..... "

 

I might be able to add more if you answer the first question about what you are looking for.

 

Excellent advice. And my guess is all the men who come on to this site bit***** and moaning about how OLD sucks probably don't know how to write a profile that not only shows off their personality, but shows they know what they're looking for in a partner.

 

Or you could just stick with Tinder and skip all this b.s.

[Art_Critic]

you certainly are attractive enough, you need to stop putting your body into backgrounds as if they were taken there.. it cuts your hair and makes it all look funny..

 

Make some changes to your profile..the name.. alter some of the text and get some nice pictures of yourself on your profile.. don't use a professional photographer as those type of photos look too good..

 

Have some friends or family take some photos of you..

[sillyanswer]

I wonder if I should just pay to get professional pictures of me done.

 

I have no idea what that costs so I don't know if it's worth it, but if you go down that route make sure the package you're buying includes having the right to publish the photo onto the dating site... in other words, have a chat with the photographer about what the intended use for the photos is going to be.

 

I am definitely not photogenic. I've looked through every picture I have on my FaceBook and they're all terrible. I look so much better in the mirror.

 

My hair doesn't have product in it in any picture I have online. The one with long hair in my album is a joke and not in my OLD.

 

I'm also trying to pose and fake a smile. I suck at doing that.

 

Posing is tricky if you don't like posing. Your best smile looks like the one with the Old Town Market sign, but it looks like you weren't comfortable with your arms. One thing to try is, instead of standing with your body totally square on to the camera, have one foot half a step in front of the other which naturally twists your body relative to the camera. You could even wave.

 

Sometimes a friend might capture something more relaxed/candid where you're smiling naturally rather than "for the camera", or perhaps a photographer will also know some good jokes. Another solution could be photos showing you in action doing something rather than posing for the camera... for example if you were actually playing that guitar (I notice it's not plugged in).

 

In general, photos outside during daylight are probably going to be better unless you're showing a specifically indoor activity (like playing the guitar).

 

 

This thread has had an unintended affect of showing me that perhaps I'm just wasting my time trying to date online. I'm just not attractive enough, in how I look and describe myself.

 

But... you're fixing that by following some of the advice, right?

[Iguanna]

Somedude I hate to be that brutally honest with you but you asked about our opinions. You look older than your age and I think you should consider willing to date older women than the ones you are aiming for. If I would see your photo without knowing your age I'd say you are near 40. The image of you dating a 24 years old college girl freaks me out a bit. Sorry to say.

[clia]

Go to any touristy area in your city -- there are tons of options.

 

Ask someone who looks like a tourist to take your picture. Tell them to take a few. Offer to take their picture in return. People traveling alone and couples are always open to this; for couples, it can be hard to get pictures together at touristy places.

 

Repeat until you get a good picture of yourself.

 

Pretend like you are a tourist if you are embarrassed.

[somedude81]

I have no idea what that costs so I don't know if it's worth it, but if you go down that route make sure the package you're buying includes having the right to publish the photo onto the dating site... in other words, have a chat with the photographer about what the intended use for the photos is going to be.

I would use a service that's catered to getting photos of OLD.

 

Posing is tricky if you don't like posing. Your best smile looks like the one with the Old Town Market sign, but it looks like you weren't comfortable with your arms. One thing to try is, instead of standing with your body totally square on to the camera, have one foot half a step in front of the other which naturally twists your body relative to the camera. You could even wave.

 

Sometimes a friend might capture something more relaxed/candid where you're smiling naturally rather than "for the camera", or perhaps a photographer will also know some good jokes. Another solution could be photos showing you in action doing something rather than posing for the camera... for example if you were actually playing that guitar (I notice it's not plugged in).

 

In general, photos outside during daylight are probably going to be better unless you're showing a specifically indoor activity (like playing the guitar).

 

Playing the guitar?

 

I don't have the guitar picture on my LS Album and I didn't post a link to my OLD profile or give the full name..........

 

Posing requires a decent job on my part and a photographer who knows what they are doing.

 

But... you're fixing that by following some of the advice, right?

Trying to, but it's kind of as I feared, my whole profile is crap and I should completely rewrite everything.

 

At least now I'm understanding why I've never had a woman reply to a message or send me one at all.

[somedude81]

Somedude I hate to be that brutally honest with you but you asked about our opinions. You look older than your age and I think you should consider willing to date older women than the ones you are aiming for. If I would see your photo without knowing your age I'd say you are near 40. The image of you dating a 24 years old college girl freaks me out a bit. Sorry to say.

 

ROFL! I look like I'm near 40?

 

Every single year I meet at least one or two girls in college who ask me how old I am. I tell them to guess.

 

Do you think they say 40? Nope. 30 something? Nope. The most common answer is 25.

 

That just means that my pictures truly are horrible.

[sillyanswer]

Playing the guitar?

 

I don't have the guitar picture on my LS Album and I didn't post a link to my OLD profile or give the full name..........

 

The magic of google.

 

It's a good photo.

[suladas]

ROFL! I look like I'm near 40?

 

Every single year I meet at least one or two girls in college who ask me how old I am. I tell them to guess.

 

Do you think they say 40? Nope. 30 something? Nope. The most common answer is 25.

 

That just means that my pictures truly are horrible.

 

Who do you think is going to be more honest about age, people on the interest or a girl you seen in person?

 

There is nothing wrong with not looking young for you age, but denying it will cause problems. Either way it doesn't matter what age you look, dating girls 10 years younger then you at your age is creepy.

[somedude81]

Who do you think is going to be more honest about age, people on the interest or a girl you seen in person?

 

There is nothing wrong with not looking young for you age, but denying it will cause problems. Either way it doesn't matter what age you look, dating girls 10 years younger then you at your age is creepy.

 

Both. Neither of them have any reason to lie.

 

I don't give a sh*t if anybody thinks dating girls 10 years younger than me is creepy.

 

My ex is 11 years younger than me. Go ahead and imagine a 31 year old me having sex with a 20 year old her.

[clia]

ROFL! I look like I'm near 40?

 

Every single year I meet at least one or two girls in college who ask me how old I am. I tell them to guess.

 

Do you think they say 40? Nope. 30 something? Nope. The most common answer is 25.

 

That just means that my pictures truly are horrible.

 

People always aim low when asked to guess someone's age to avoid offending.

[suladas]

Both. Neither of them have any reason to lie.

 

I don't give a sh*t if anybody thinks dating girls 10 years younger than me is creepy.

 

My ex is 11 years younger than me. Go ahead and imagine a 31 year old me having sex with a 20 year old her.

 

Do you have a knife so I can cut my eyes out?

[Imajerk17]

Somedude, women evaluate men's photos slightly differently from how men evaluate women's photos.

 

We men are far more preoccupied with "looks". We care a lot more about hip-to-waist ratio, how her legs look, is she is shape, ect. Women care far more about the vibe you are giving off, do you seem like a cool guy. Do you look happy and confident? Do you look like you have friends who like you?

 

It's why looking through the other gender's photo collection can be so frustrating. Men post pictures of themselves in revealing clothing (e.g., shirtless to show off their abs or chest), while women will post a gazillion headshots of them with their friends--and no body shots. Men are giving women what the men themselves would want, and women are giving men what the women themselves would want.

 

So anyway, for your photos, NO on a professional shot unless maybe it is for your profile picture. Otherwise it would look like you are trying too hard. I think clia's idea of asking strangers to take a picture of you walking around in a city is a good one.

 

Meanwhile, I know it keeps coming back to this, but it would really help if you have a picture or two of you having fun in a group/with your friends. Dancing would be great. If you don't have any such pictures or if you look awkward/weird in all those photos, then that is something you'd benefit to work on. Not just for OLD but also for connecting with women in those groups.

[contact1]

I agree with the photos being the key thing. Because think about it, how many profiles these girls must go through, they are not going to read through every single word of your profile, when they got 100+ more to go through. They are going to see your picture first. If they like it, than they will look at your profile more, but if they don't like your pic, NEXT. A picture is truly worth a thousand words, especially in OLD.

 

I don't have a link to it, but there was a profile I had seen a while back on another forum I post, of a guy who uses tinder and he has 6000+ likes from women, because his photos were professionally done, showing him being a outdoors type person that does fun things. If you can get photos of you doing things, like your salsa dancing (think of a photo where you just dipped her, you posed with your back arched, one hand holding her while your other high in the air) that would give you a huge boost. In essence, it will make you stand out a lot more from the many other people that do "selfies" (god I hate that word).

[Iguanna]

ROFL! I look like I'm near 40?

 

Every single year I meet at least one or two girls in college who ask me how old I am. I tell them to guess.

 

Do you think they say 40? Nope. 30 something? Nope. The most common answer is 25.

 

That just means that my pictures truly are horrible.

 

When I was 24 I had no idea how to guess a person's age. There were only 2 ages, young and old. Everything above 30 for me was an unknown territory of old. Now, if someone who looks X years old asks me directly how old I think they are, I always say 4-5 years less than my original thought so that I don't offend them.

 

My ex was almost 10 years younger than me. Does this mean I will always find guys who are younger? No. I was just lucky to attract such a young guy. You have a serious issue about what you DON'T want in a woman. Someone should not have a high IQ to come to the conclusion that it's no wonder you are still single...

[organizedchaos]

Go to any touristy area in your city -- there are tons of options.

 

Ask someone who looks like a tourist to take your picture. Tell them to take a few. Offer to take their picture in return. People traveling alone and couples are always open to this; for couples, it can be hard to get pictures together at touristy places.

 

Repeat until you get a good picture of yourself.

 

Pretend like you are a tourist if you are embarrassed.

 

Do this!

 

Do NOT hire a professional photographer.

 

You need pictures of you in real locations doing real things/activities. Pictures with friends helps too (going back to why having friends is important).

 

Have a grill? Photo of you cooking on the grill, smiling. Hiking? Pic of you on a hike. Theme parks? Pic of you on a roller coaster, or whatever. Indoor skydiving? Pic of you doing that. Don't do anything interesting or fun? Then what are you doing to do with a gf?

 

Get my point? Pics of you doing interesting/fun things that a woman could imagine doing with you as well! And all of these can be shot with a smartphone by a friend (remember, have friends!)

[MidwestUSA]

Agree, work on getting better pics. The one in front of the tapestry? Your head is smack in the middle of the circle! The Giants game would have been good if the lights were on you instead of behind; you're washed out. Go to something like that and try again.

 

The covered wagon? I told you here that you're slouched; it adds to your age. Stand up straight! This is the stuff women look at.

[hasaquestion]

Both. Neither of them have any reason to lie.

 

I don't give a sh*t if anybody thinks dating girls 10 years younger than me is creepy.

 

My ex is 11 years younger than me. Go ahead and imagine a 31 year old me having sex with a 20 year old her.

 

You also want a girlfriend. So whether you care or not isn't relevant - what people think has an impact on you.

 

I'd recommend you avoid "I am" statements. People are show-not-tell creatures. For example, "I am a great listener", "I am fun and easy going". Those aren't visuals. People want visceral and specific, they don't want words, they want images.

 

For example, when you put a picture of you at the beach, its worth a thousand words. its a proposition. Its not just "here is a picture of me" - its "here is a picture of me and this is what we can do". And of course, if they are interested, in their mind girls will fill in the blanks -leave early for memorial day weekend, rent some jet skis, collect sea glass, kill one of those cheap bottles of Sutter Home wine, roll around in the sand....

 

I also agree with other posters that you definitely look older for your age. You also look like you have a good head of hair which is a definite positive. Based on the pics you've shared, I think you could definitely present yourself better.

 

For ex. in the two pictures you have on your profile you are wearing a T-shirt. I don't know how you normally dress but you should absolutely ditch the T-shirt. You look way too old to be wearing T-shirts. Button down shirts would look infinitely better on you. Try brighter colors in general, Easter egg-y or pastel tones in particular would complement your skin tone. You have dark eyes and there's not a lot of the white visible, that combined with your skin tone and hair color makes wearing black or crimson "dark on dark" and not a good look on you. Also avoid horizontal patterns, stick to vertical ones.

[regine_phalange]

My self-summary

 

People say I'm a fun guy and very easy going.

 

I wouldn't care what others say. Choose something more representative of yourself that makes you unique.

 

What I’m doing with my life

 

I'm currently taking time off work so I can go back to school and finish up my degree in business administration information systems. I'll be done this year and then I'll reenter the corporate world.

That's fine as it is.

 

I’m really good at

 

Salsa dancing as well as other types of ballroom dancing. It's just so much fun to do a structured couples dance. It's a lot easier to dance than you think it is, and don’t worry, I can teach you!

 

I do computer repair and other technology support.

 

I'm also a great listener.

Salsa is fun. Computer repair skills is sexy. Leave out the fact that you are a good listener though. You can show it to the women who are interested by your messages, or in your date.

 

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

 

My favorite show is Game of Thrones. Brooklyn Nine Nine is great and I like Archer as well. I watch a lot of anime. If you don't know what that is, that's fine. If you do, tell me some of your favorite shows.

 

For music I like alternative rock, Offspring, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Fall out boy etc. I also really enjoy ambient beats when I just want to chill.

 

I'm a gamer, enjoy Dark Souls and Elder Scrolls and everything in between. Of course I know when to put down the controller and give you the attention you deserve. Of course you're welcome to play along.

That's good.

 

I’m looking for

 

Straight girls only

Ages 22-34

Near me

Who are single

For long-term dating, short-term dating

 

You should message me if

 

You're a down to Earth woman who likes to dance, have fun or just play a game or two.

 

Good, but "play a game or two" could be misunderstood as an indirect sexual innuendo. At least I'd misunderstand it.

 

Good luck with OLD somedude.

[somedude81]

Do you have a knife so I can cut my eyes out?

 

I think you need to stab your brain to get that image out.

[somedude81]

I get it my profile is beyond saving.

 

My text is horrible and my pictures are worse.

 

Thanks for trying to help guys. It looks like I'll have to start from zero.

 

I'm going to ask for this thread to be locked.

[lollipopspot]

I am definitely not photogenic. I've looked through every picture I have on my FaceBook and they're all terrible. I look so much better in the mirror...

 

This thread has had an unintended affect of showing me that perhaps I'm just wasting my time trying to date online. I'm just not attractive enough, in how I look and describe myself.

 

If you're not photogenic, then like me you just have to try harder to get a good picture.

 

Don't be discouraged! You're fine - you just need to work on your presentation.

 

OLD is hard for anyone though. Some people - me included - probably come off better in person than on-line. I don't know if that's you too.

 

I would use a service that's catered to getting photos of OLD.

 

Playing the guitar?...

 

Trying to, but it's kind of as I feared, my whole profile is crap and I should completely rewrite everything.

 

At least now I'm understanding why I've never had a woman reply to a message or send me one at all.

 

I don't remember if you mentioned playing the guitar in your profile, but that's much more interesting than your gaming!

 

Your whole profile is not crap. I've seen much worse ones. You just want to tweak it and above all get better pictures. Everyone here is just giving their personal opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

 

I don't know if there is a service that takes pictures just for profiles. Maybe. You really just need someone to go around with you and snap some natural looking yet appealing pictures for a bit - can be strangers, can be friends or acquaintances.

 

ROFL! I look like I'm near 40?

 

Every single year I meet at least one or two girls in college who ask me how old I am. I tell them to guess.

 

Do you think they say 40? Nope. 30 something? Nope. The most common answer is 25.

 

That just means that my pictures truly are horrible.

 

I think they are bad photos.

 

It may also be that you appear and act younger in person so you give off something different than you do in a still photo. The planes of your face may not react well to the camera. I can photograph very harsh, but in real life my features are much softer. I have seen people who look beautiful on camera, and just o.k. in person. You just have to try harder to get a true to life shot.

[sillyanswer]

I get it my profile is beyond saving.

 

My text is horrible and my pictures are worse.

 

Thanks for trying to help guys. It looks like I'll have to start from zero.

 

I'm going to ask for this thread to be locked.

 

You've been given some good suggestions on how to improve it! Don't give up just yet.

[hasaquestion]

I get it my profile is beyond saving.

 

My text is horrible and my pictures are worse.

 

Thanks for trying to help guys. It looks like I'll have to start from zero.

 

I'm going to ask for this thread to be locked.

 

No one said that. Your profile does not need to be "saved", just adjusted. No one suggested getting a face transplant, winning the lottery, or holding up a bank.

 

Things like new settings for pics, dressing differently, smiling, new username etc. are not extreme life-altering events.