alyss Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Every year my BF's friend has a camp fire type thing. I didn't go the last two years because I was out of town. People wondered why I wasn't there. It's this weekend and my BF doesn't want me to go. There aren't that many people going, maybe 10. He won't really say why he doesn't want me to go. When I ask he says he doesn't know. At first he wanted me to, now he doesn't. There are going to be a few girls there and it's bothering me because he's hooked up with at least one of them. If I were there I could care less, but him wanting me to stay home makes me worry even though I probably have no reason to. They are all staying the night because they'll be drunk. They are supposed to be camping outside, he doesn't know where he'll be sleeping yet. We don't own a tent so he'll be staying with someone else in theres. And I know the girls will ask him to stay in their tent because they keep saying they have extra room. It's really bothering me that he doesn't want me to go at all. It's not a guys thing, girls are going and I'm invited. He just doesn't want me there. Am I overreacting? Is this odd? Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Every year my BF's friend has a camp fire type thing. I didn't go the last two years because I was out of town. People wondered why I wasn't there. It's this weekend and my BF doesn't want me to go. There aren't that many people going, maybe 10. He won't really say why he doesn't want me to go. When I ask he says he doesn't know. At first he wanted me to, now he doesn't. There are going to be a few girls there and it's bothering me because he's hooked up with at least one of them. If I were there I could care less, but him wanting me to stay home makes me worry even though I probably have no reason to. They are all staying the night because they'll be drunk. They are supposed to be camping outside, he doesn't know where he'll be sleeping yet. We don't own a tent so he'll be staying with someone else in theres. And I know the girls will ask him to stay in their tent because they keep saying they have extra room. It's really bothering me that he doesn't want me to go at all. It's not a guys thing, girls are going and I'm invited. He just doesn't want me there. Am I overreacting? Is this odd? Oh you have many reasons to be worried. MANY. There is only one reason why a guy wouldn't want his girlfriend to be at an overnight, lets hang and drink till we're wasted, get together in our tents, kind of party. He plans on hooking up with one of his ex-bang partners. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Oh you have many reasons to be worried. MANY. There is only one reason why a guy wouldn't want his girlfriend to be at an overnight, lets hang and drink till we're wasted, get together in our tents, kind of party. He plans on hooking up with one of his ex-bang partners. Yep ..........l 1 Link to post Share on other sites
halfcrazed_i Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Yeah... ditto. I'd be suspicious too. Only because he didn't have a 'valid' reason to give you as to why he doesn't want you to go. If he doesn't want you to go, he should give you a reason... (like there would be too many drunk guys there and that he doesn't want to subject you to that; or that he just wants some time for himself with his friends... anything!) Link to post Share on other sites
Haydaman712 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I disagree with you girls. This is a man's way of payback for you testing him on countless things that don't really matter. Now he's testing how psycho you are. I've done it before. Either let him go, and leave him alone. Or leave him. But reacting and getting upset will only make him despise you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 so you would be fine with it if your girlfriend was doing the same as the op's boyfriend? I disagree with you girls. This is a man's way of payback for you testing him on countless things that don't really matter. Now he's testing how psycho you are. I've done it before. Either let him go, and leave him alone. Or leave him. But reacting and getting upset will only make him despise you. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 GEEZ. What is there to be UNSURE about?! He doesn't want his own girlfriend to come to HIS party, yet he wants OTHER GIRSL to come? He wants to invite other girls he has previously hooked up with and he yet he doesn't want to invite his own girlfriend?! Wth is wrong with your boyfriend? And why are you even unsure about this?! It is VERY obvious to people reading this that it is just odd that your own boyfriend doesn't want his own girlfriend to attend a party which is plans on inviting other girls to? Plus he even admitted to not having his own tent?! How suspect is that?! GIRLS are going. Girls he has hooked up with. He has freely admitted to you that he is going to crash in someone else's tent... I would have dumped him immediately and gone no contact so he didn't have a way he could weasel his way back to me. Get some self respect and stop putting up with guys who don't invite you to their own parties where they are more than happy to invite OTHER GIRLS to. He basically spelled it out to you, that he has no tent.. and will crash in someone elses tent... likely a girl he has previously banged. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alyss Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 GEEZ. What is there to be UNSURE about?! He doesn't want his own girlfriend to come to HIS party, yet he wants OTHER GIRSL to come? He wants to invite other girls he has previously hooked up with and he yet he doesn't want to invite his own girlfriend?! Wth is wrong with your boyfriend? And why are you even unsure about this?! It is VERY obvious to people reading this that it is just odd that your own boyfriend doesn't want his own girlfriend to attend a party which is plans on inviting other girls to? Plus he even admitted to not having his own tent?! How suspect is that?! GIRLS are going. Girls he has hooked up with. He has freely admitted to you that he is going to crash in someone else's tent... I would have dumped him immediately and gone no contact so he didn't have a way he could weasel his way back to me. Get some self respect and stop putting up with guys who don't invite you to their own parties where they are more than happy to invite OTHER GIRLS to. He basically spelled it out to you, that he has no tent.. and will crash in someone elses tent... likely a girl he has previously banged. It's not his party, it's his friends party. His friend invited the other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
you_can_not_see_me Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 well maybe he thinks you are a party pooper or maybe his friends prefer if its only him hanging. I know there have been cases where I preferred some of my friends not to bring their GF cause it kinda ruined the vib. Link to post Share on other sites
you_can_not_see_me Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 GEEZ. What is there to be UNSURE about?! He doesn't want his own girlfriend to come to HIS party, yet he wants OTHER GIRSL to come? He wants to invite other girls he has previously hooked up with and he yet he doesn't want to invite his own girlfriend?! Wth is wrong with your boyfriend? And why are you even unsure about this?! It is VERY obvious to people reading this that it is just odd that your own boyfriend doesn't want his own girlfriend to attend a party which is plans on inviting other girls to? Plus he even admitted to not having his own tent?! How suspect is that?! GIRLS are going. Girls he has hooked up with. He has freely admitted to you that he is going to crash in someone else's tent... I would have dumped him immediately and gone no contact so he didn't have a way he could weasel his way back to me. Get some self respect and stop putting up with guys who don't invite you to their own parties where they are more than happy to invite OTHER GIRLS to. He basically spelled it out to you, that he has no tent.. and will crash in someone elses tent... likely a girl he has previously banged. girl you are reading into this **** way to much. Like I said maybe he just wants to hang with his friends without his GF every once in a while. You have to trust people a little. Sometimes GFs can be a pain in the ass when you are hanging with the bros. Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 girl you are reading into this **** way to much. Like I said maybe he just wants to hang with his friends without his GF every once in a while. You have to trust people a little. Sometimes GFs can be a pain in the ass when you are hanging with the bros. except he's not hanging with the bros.....he's hanging with the bros and other women 3 Link to post Share on other sites
you_can_not_see_me Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 except he's not hanging with the bros.....he's hanging with the bros and other women So? just cause there are other girls there doesn't mean he plans to have sex with them. If OP is one of those nagging girlfriends who makes a scene when they are out with other people, then I can totally relate to the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseMadder Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 girl you are reading into this **** way to much. Like I said maybe he just wants to hang with his friends without his GF every once in a while. You have to trust people a little. Sometimes GFs can be a pain in the ass when you are hanging with the bros. If he was just going camping with his "bros" then I doubt it would be a problem, the fact that other girls have been invited suggests it's not a "bros" exclusive event. OP points out that others have wondered why she hasn't been there in the past which would imply that it's the norm for girlfriends to come along. Why, if he isn't planning on misbehaving, does he have a problem with his GF coming to a party? Someone suggested he was testing her, why would he do that crap when she hasn't been the previous two years and was clearly fine with him going without her then. Plus that sort of bull$hit is for kids who shouldn't be in serious RS anyway. He's definitely up to something, if he refuses to let you go (I'd go anyway but that's just me) then you have to decide whether you can take not knowing what he's up to and also resign yourself to the fact that your feelings don't mean much to him. Another thing, if you're not sure if he's been hooking up at these camping parties for the last two years you might want to get yourself tested just in case. Just out of curiosity, are you friends with the others that are going? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 girl you are reading into this **** way to much. Like I said maybe he just wants to hang with his friends without his GF every once in a while. You have to trust people a little. Sometimes GFs can be a pain in the ass when you are hanging with the bros. Did you not read the original post? It's not just "the bros." It's the guys, plus girls, girls he's already hooked up with in the past. Any guy with even an ounce of brain cells would invite his girlfriend along if he valued her and didn't want her to think anything sketchy was going on. Instead he basically rubbed it in her face that he's going to party, will be sleeping in someone elses tent, that there will be other girls there, girls he hooked up with, they will be drinking and sleeping over, oh, and he doesn't want his girlfriend there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 So? just cause there are other girls there doesn't mean he plans to have sex with them. If OP is one of those nagging girlfriends who makes a scene when they are out with other people, then I can totally relate to the guy. You clearly didn't read the OP. He's ALREADY HAD SEX with at least one of these women. Let's not sit around pretending we don't know what's going on here. Lets be real, OK? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
you_can_not_see_me Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 You clearly didn't read the OP. He's ALREADY HAD SEX with at least one of these women. Let's not sit around pretending we don't know what's going on here. Lets be real, OK? he had sex with the girl before the op and him meet or while they were dating? I don't know OP's boyfriend he might be a cheating son of a bitch, but I m just saying there isn't enough evidence to prove that he wants to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
daisydook Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Every year my BF's friend has a camp fire type thing. I didn't go the last two years because I was out of town. People wondered why I wasn't there. It's this weekend and my BF doesn't want me to go. There aren't that many people going, maybe 10. He won't really say why he doesn't want me to go. When I ask he says he doesn't know. At first he wanted me to, now he doesn't. There are going to be a few girls there and it's bothering me because he's hooked up with at least one of them. If I were there I could care less, but him wanting me to stay home makes me worry even though I probably have no reason to. They are all staying the night because they'll be drunk. They are supposed to be camping outside, he doesn't know where he'll be sleeping yet. We don't own a tent so he'll be staying with someone else in theres. And I know the girls will ask him to stay in their tent because they keep saying they have extra room. It's really bothering me that he doesn't want me to go at all. It's not a guys thing, girls are going and I'm invited. He just doesn't want me there. Am I overreacting? Is this odd? I would feel weird about this. If it were an all guy thing, I would understand. It isn't. There are females going, who he has hooked up with previously, and also offering up their spare tent space to him. OP - I would also be uncomfortable with this. You are not overreacting and it is odd. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseMadder Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 So? just cause there are other girls there doesn't mean he plans to have sex with them. If OP is one of those nagging girlfriends who makes a scene when they are out with other people, then I can totally relate to the guy. Where did you get the idea that she was some sort of nagging shrew? She was HAPPY for him to go without her when she COULDN'T make it. This time she's NOT working, has been invited by others and HE doesn't want her to go. Do you not see how that might upset her? Turn the tables, would you be happy if your GF went out camping with dudes she'd hooked up with in the past and told you you weren't allowed to go? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
you_can_not_see_me Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Where did you get the idea that she was some sort of nagging shrew? She was HAPPY for him to go without her when she COULDN'T make it. This time she's NOT working, has been invited by others and HE doesn't want her to go. Do you not see how that might upset her? Turn the tables, would you be happy if your GF went out camping with dudes she'd hooked up with in the past and told you you weren't allowed to go? I didn't assume I said "if". OP might be the coolest GF in the world for all I know. Also if he really wanted to cheat, why tell his GF he was going anyway? He'd be a sick **** if he was intentionally trying to make her jealous/paranoid. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseMadder Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I didn't assume I said "if". OP might be the coolest GF in the world for all I know. You're not answering my question though, would you be happy with your GF going camping with guys she'd hooked up with and telling you you weren't allowed to go? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseMadder Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I didn't assume I said "if". OP might be the coolest GF in the world for all I know. Also if he really wanted to cheat, why tell his GF he was going anyway? He'd be a sick **** if he was intentionally trying to make her jealous/paranoid. Given that it's a yearly thing it's hardly surprising she knew about it, also she was invited by other people, I guess that would give the game away. My experience of cheaters is they get off on the danger, don't get more dangerous than cheating on your GF knowing you could get caught at any second. Link to post Share on other sites
you_can_not_see_me Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) You're not answering my question though, would you be happy with your GF going camping with guys she'd hooked up with and telling you you weren't allowed to go? I could probably tell by her manner if she was going to cheat or not. If I felt like she wasn't going to I would say "I trust you girl", to guilt trip her a little lol. If I felt like she might cheat, I would have straight up told her I feel that way and allow her an explanation. If OP feels worried, tell him your concern, don't be passive aggressive and hate him for something you have no evidence for. girl who said she would leave the guy in such a situation, is a perfect example of how not to react in such a situation. Edited May 22, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 OP.... Can I ask how your relationship in general has been lately? Have you had any fights recently? Have you both been really happy? Have you been just kinda trudging along? I'm not going to assume he is planning on cheating, as that is quite extreme, but there is definitely a reason he doesn't want you there. It's either that you guys are not solid at the moment, and he just needs some time out, or he is evaluating the relationship and wants the opportunity to be "around" other girls to help him get a clearer idea of whether or not he wants to stay in the R with you. I don't understand why he couldn't give you a straight answer for why he doesn't want you to go unless revealing the reason would give his game away.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 we don't know his intentions but... I don't know a guy that wouldn't be uncomfortable if the op's boyfriend was their girlfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alyss Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 Our relationship has been fine as far as I can tell. The only thing that's been making me self conscious is that he wants sex and oral a lot more than I want to do lately. We've been together for 3 years it's not like we've only been together a short while. We're 26. I'm pregnant and I've been uncomfortable lately which has turned my sex drive down. Plus I feel more self-conscious than I ever have. But it's not something we fight about, and I try to do what I can for him. But there is probably a bit of sexual frustration there. Which doesn't help my worries. The baby was unplanned and my BF is honest that he isn't happy or excited about it. He will never talk to me about it, but I'm sure there is stress from that. But we rarely fight, our relationship has been great. Link to post Share on other sites
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