Why should I try when he's not

[Notsure_9]

I am just at a point to where I don't know what else I can possibly do to "fix" things. I have really been trying but maybe it's too little too late. We have become more like roommates than a couple. I've tried to spice things up and did try a book that was mentioned to me in another thread but that didn't last long. And we are back to square one no initiating from him. It just makes me wonder whats wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I feel like he has become very judgmental of everything I do which isn't much (the occasional dinner/drinks with friends) I guess this is more venting than anything else. I just don't see why I should put in the effort if it's just going to be one-sided. Just frustrated!

[jwi71]

I am just at a point to where I don't know what else I can possibly do to "fix" things. I have really been trying but maybe it's too little too late. We have become more like roommates than a couple. I've tried to spice things up and did try a book that was mentioned to me in another thread but that didn't last long. And we are back to square one no initiating from him. It just makes me wonder whats wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I feel like he has become very judgmental of everything I do which isn't much (the occasional dinner/drinks with friends) I guess this is more venting than anything else. I just don't see why I should put in the effort if it's just going to be one-sided. Just frustrated!

 

Well, if you have communicated the issue, made attempts to make "it" better and he reasonably understands this - refuses to "try" still - then I believe he is telling you all you need to know is he not?

[Eivuwan]

That is sad. I have been in similar situations and it's just so hurtful when you seem to care more than someone who is suppose to be your partner in life. Your last shot might be couples counseling, but I don't know if you still want to do it at this point.

[Notsure_9]

I think I'm just at a lose. I'm not trying to put everything off on him. We did have some problems and I took responsibility for my part I'm that and have really been putting forth a big effort to make things better. I do say things to him and he tries and things get better for maybe a week the right back to square one. I've suggested counseling but he doesn't want to go. I just wish I knew if or what I'm doing wrong

[chelsea2011]

Be completely honest with yourself. Maybe you don't want it to work and are looking for excuses to end it.

[d0nnivain]

First, does he think the relationship is broken & in need of fixing? Have you asked him for suggestions on how he thinks it could be improved? He may not be putting in effort if he doesn't realize something is wrong.

 

 

If you are making & effort but he's not, have you pointed that out to him? If yes, & he still doesn't change, that may be your answer.

[Notsure_9]

First, does he think the relationship is broken & in need of fixing? Have you asked him for suggestions on how he thinks it could be improved? He may not be putting in effort if he doesn't realize something is wrong.

 

 

If you are making & effort but he's not, have you pointed that out to him? If yes, & he still doesn't change, that may be your answer.

 

Yes he's aware. We can talk about it and things will get better for maybe a week then just goes right back to the way it was before. And if I mention something again he usually gets irritated. I've expressed to him how I feel but I feel like sometimes I'm talking at him not to him because he's not really listening.