yoh Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 According to the church you can't marry your fist cousin but it isn't illegal Link to post Share on other sites
JoL Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 I know people who have married their first cousin. Personally, i find it strange and well, unnatural. But it does happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WHATINTHE... Posted February 14, 2005 Author Share Posted February 14, 2005 Thanks for the input guys. Maybe I'm attracted to the type of guy he is and thats all. So now i know what to look for. Link to post Share on other sites
123456 Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 A little over a year ago I broke up with my first cousin because of what might happen in our families; she went on to find someone very much like me but still misses me I still haven't found anyone quite like her. Do what you feel is right as long as he feels the same don't let anyone including your family tell you different. Remember even Einstein married his cousin. Really check out this site. Link to post Share on other sites
cousinlover Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Originally posted by 123456 A little over a year ago I broke up with my first cousin because of what might happen in our families; she went on to find someone very much like me but still misses me I still haven't found anyone quite like her. Do what you feel is right as long as he feels the same don't let anyone including your family tell you different. Remember even Einstein married his cousin. Really check out this site. [color=red][/color] I love my couisn too and have we been lovers for 2 months. We are aged 39 and 40 so its not a crush. We have always had feelings for each other, both been married and had kids to other people BUT we cant fight what we have. I know its wrong and we have to keep it secret from the family....my question is - can anyone offer any practical help or advice? This is tearing us both apart. We have tried to deny it by seeing other people but we cant. As i write this, he has a date with someone, which is killing me but I have to let him go. Why does love, the real love you only get once in a lifetime, have to be so wrong?? Thanks to anyone who takes an interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Israfil Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Originally posted by cousinlover Why does love, the real love you only get once in a lifetime, have to be so wrong?? Its only wrong if you allow socially constructed ideals to rule your mind. However, I suggest you start a new thread on this topic. (Don't hijack this thread with a buried question.) You will get better responses that way. Link to post Share on other sites
bluebear66 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 I've found this thread by coincidence whilst doing research in this topic out of interest. According to my research, it's ok to marry your cosuing in *some* US states (and countries for that matter) and in others it is not. So it might be worth checking on your local legislation. But in any case it shows how equivocal the topic is. I also found a reference to the Journal of Genetic Counseling, which recently published a study indicating that children of cousin couples face only a slightly higher risk of major genetic disorders than average (sorry, no complete reference at hand). In my opinion it is perfectly ok to go out with a first cousin and, if you are genuinely in love, to marry each other. The problem might be to get out of each other's way if you should ever decide to break up Hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 I'm going to bet that some people on here are going to guess that some of those who responded are from KY (or West Virginia) Ok bad joke. Well, I personally would feel a little bit disgusted at the thought of a first cousin, but to each his own. I really don't see the real harm in it until the family gets involved. What if you break up? Now THAT would be some drama. OR what if you hook up then feel weird afterward...you are more than likely going to still have to see that person from time to time. Also, what in the WORLD are your parents going to think?! I mean, I guess that shouldn't matter but I think most families would die of embarassment if some family members got together. I think it could be more harm than good. Sure, its a socially constructed ideal...but nevertheless I think you might want to think about the rest of your family and how they would feel about it. It could put a LOT of shame and embarassment on your parents and family members. Be it right or wrong, it doesn't matter. I think it really has to do with how much you want to put your family through. Because let's face it. You don't live in a country that deems that acceptable and you live in THIS culture. I would be thinking about the rest of the family too and how that would make them feel. Ask yourself if it would really be worth it. Just my two cents! Link to post Share on other sites
cousinlover Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Thanks to you who have replied - I didnt think about what would happen if we split up as we have been sole mates for 30 years. It would kill me never to c him again. I think we need to be really sure of what each other wants. I am finding it really hard to start that conversation going with him as we are trying to get on with each others lifes, ie..going out with other people. Its very hard as we have lived together for the last 5 weeks (as cousins) as I have always told him my home is his home and i dont want to loose him as a friend or cousin if it all went wrong. Its really hard going to bed alone on a night and leaving him on the sofa. The only time we sleep together is when the kids are not here (hardly ever) and we have had a drink to be more relaxed. We both know its wrong and try really hard to deny it. I am totally in love with him and i know he feels the same. Even living with him as cousins and mates only is great - we never argue, are there for each other no matter what, he helps with the house and kids. I wish i was brave enough to just tell him how i really feel and say that no one else matters but it would hurt so many people, his girlfriend, my boyfriend and the family. Taking all everyone said into consideration and everything else, I am going to take things slow and one step at a time - i would rarther keep him forever as my best mate than loose him. Thanks xx Link to post Share on other sites
p1f2s Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Hi, I'm new here as well and I also have a really big problem...with the cousin thing. See, I've been adopted since birth and well I have always had this strange relationship with one of my first cousins. I've always known that there was an attraction, but I thought that it had died down because we hadn't seen each other in more than 3 years. Yet I recently went to visit my uncle and my cousins(this particular one included) and he told me that he repeatedly told me that he loved me and we kissed more than a handfull of times. It was really hard because we had to pretend that nothing was happening between us, when it clearly was. When I left on the plane I started crying because I didn't want to leave him and now that I'm not with him I'm constantly thinking about him. Oh and I forgot to add that I have a boyfriend(who I'm going to break up with because I can't keep lying)...what do I do about my cousin?! Please help me ASAP Link to post Share on other sites
Israfil Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 For the love of Allah, people, PLEASE start another thread!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ashley83 Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 lol um this is hilarious Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Maybe there is a forum somewhere on the net for people attracted to their cousins... Yeah, I think the last person with the cousin problem should just start another thread..this one is VERY old... Link to post Share on other sites
JanieQP Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Wow. In Europe, it's legal for first cousins to marry. I know a few families in which this has happened repeatedly over centuries, and it's just not a good thing. These are "gentry", and they look inbred. The rate of birth defects and other health problems in their children seems abnormally high to me - even among those who marry completely outside the family. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 The sexual attraction to cousins is perfectly natural, but it's just not a very good idea to act upon those impulses. There are both social and scientific arguments against it. Socially, not everyone is going to accept your relationship - particularly future partners outside the family. I mean, how do you explain that your ex is your cousin? Biologically, nature demands genetic variation. The closer you are to your family, the more likely it is that your offspring will suffer from birth defects. Link to post Share on other sites
friend182 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I think that since you added "WHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW" at the end of your thread you already have your answer. It would probably bother you to go any farther. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts