my ex said horrible things to me and now apologizes....forgive or not?

[momto3boys]

I posted here last night how my soon to be ex husband has been saying really horrible things to me. It made me feel so low that i have decided to go to therapy. Well today he randomly texts me and apologizes. I didnt even say anything back. I am being too harsh? He was harsh. I just want to continue NC. I am done. I dont even want his apology, part of me feels like its probably because he feels bad and doesnt want to look like the bad guy. After all - he blames everything on me! He can never be the bad guy. Im always apologizing for stuff hes even done to me! This time i didnt. I just went NC. should i forgive? Or continue NC?

[Survivor12]

Choosing to forgive him does not require any form of contact. As is often repeated, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It's about choosing to let go of the anger & negative emotions but has nothing to do with absolution of wrongs committed.

 

If you can find it in your heart to forgive, great! It's up to him to forgive himself.

[Zahara]

I posted here last night how my soon to be ex husband has been saying really horrible things to me. It made me feel so low that i have decided to go to therapy. Well today he randomly texts me and apologizes. I didnt even say anything back. I am being too harsh? He was harsh. I just want to continue NC. I am done. I dont even want his apology, part of me feels like its probably because he feels bad and doesnt want to look like the bad guy. After all - he blames everything on me! He can never be the bad guy. Im always apologizing for stuff hes even done to me! This time i didnt. I just went NC. should i forgive? Or continue NC?

 

You're not being harsh. If you aren't ready to acknowledge or accept his apology, then you do not have to do anything but prioritize your own feelings and your need for no contact.

 

You forgive when you are ready to forgive. Forgiveness is for you. It should never be extended to save his feelings or to give into his needs.

 

Please continue NC. The most important thing that you should be doing is focusing on your emotional health and your path to heal from all of this. What he wants, desires, requires is secondary. He has to deal and live with his own decisions and choices.