What does he mean by saying this?

[summergeisha]

Hello everyone.

 

He is my college lab p_r_o_f_e_s_s_o_r .We flirted the whole semester. Anyway, long story short. I am just going to point out some incidences.

 

Once he got mad at me because I asked him if he can accept my aged-old late work and he smiled and said he couldn't. Then I acted a little "bitchy" by saying I came to him for help because my lecture instructor didn't have a office; I don't know what his assignment is and asked him to find the pages in his book for me. etc . I tried to see how far I can push him. He got mad eventually and a little cold. Then he ignored me in our next meeting in the lab even though I tried to talk to him. This is what I thought was funny: He ignored me on purpose and talked with my group members in a very excited, abnormal tone. Well, he always talked to me and gave me attentions the most when he came to our group. I don't even remember he talked with my group members before.

 

Couple days later I went to his office with smile face:D and some questions. We smiled at each other and flirted again. He stopped acting "weird" to me after that. He continued to give me attentions.

 

There were couple times in the lab when he walked around. He tried to ask me if I have a boyfriend by asking what do I do in Valentine's day and once after I showed a picture of me and a male celebrity he said you should say that's your boyfriend and then he walked away.

 

 

NOW...

 

 

The day before final I walked to his office and asked some questions I honestly don't know because I didn't go to my lecture class because I had to take care of family business at a certain time everyday when my mom went aboard.

 

I was... nervous. So I wasn't really listening when he tried to explain things and I said I still don't get it.

He was like, "Okay tell me which part you don't get it, how about that?" I became a chicken after he saying that. ( so mean!)

 

He kinda acted the same way as last time I went to his office. I said I feel miserable about this class he just said I will get it over it. He was really cold IMO.

 

That's when he popped up this..."I feel like you are testing me."

I was like,"No, why would I want to do that."

He looked down on the paper and said:" I don't know.."

 

During this visit, I feel disconnected with him and awkward. Even though he did smiled within all the mixed signals..

 

 

 

On the final, he avoided eye contact with me even the whole area where I sat Until he said," I hope to see you around." and he looked at me. Then he asked who will be taking the subject he teaches again...

 

 

I don't know if I am misreading any information or its him. Every time I brought anything that related to grade he became cold. Maybe he thought I went to him just for grade or I am just a bad student who doesn't know how to appreciate his help. Honestly, I do have feelings for him. But this is my stragedy of dealing with him. I am not a eye stared student or one of his admirer. Hell, I don't even see him as an authoritative figure. I know he liked me being a little saucy though.

 

 

Do you guys think he liked me in the same way? Why did he ask me if I was testing him? I appreciated all help!

[MidwestUSA]

The poor guy probably would like to keep his job. Stop flirting and focus on passing the class by going to lecture.

 

The disconnect and awkward is of your own making; this has nothing but trouble written all over it.

[d0nnivain]

You misinterpreted his interest in you as a student for something romantic. If he picked up on a vibe that you liked him, he probably freaked that he was going to end up on the wrong end of a sexual misconduct charge.

 

 

Stay away from him until after you graduate. At that point, you can do whatever you want.

[summergeisha]

The poor guy probably would like to keep his job. Stop flirting and focus on passing the class by going to lecture.

 

The disconnect and awkward is of your own making; this has nothing but trouble written all over it.

 

Thanks for the reply. But I really think he is attracted to me at some point. I don't mean to date him or ruin his job I just want to know if he ever liked me. Thanks again.

[summergeisha]

You misinterpreted his interest in you as a student for something romantic. If he picked up on a vibe that you liked him, he probably freaked that he was going to end up on the wrong end of a sexual misconduct charge.

 

 

Stay away from him until after you graduate. At that point, you can do whatever you want.

 

Thank you. I understand professors cared about their job more. But I just want to be friend with him and keep contact with him. Even this is not leading to something romantic, but it's still beneficial to me in terms of academic related stuff.

[pteromom]

Thank you. I understand professors cared about their job more. But I just want to be friend with him and keep contact with him. Even this is not leading to something romantic, but it's still beneficial to me in terms of academic related stuff.

 

But it sounds like you guys aren't on the same page when it comes to communication. You don't "get" him and he doesn't get you. So it isn't really an avenue toward friendship.

 

Like him saying "Okay tell me which part you don't get it, how about that?"... I don't see that as mean at all. ??? He was trying to help you.

 

Anyway, as everyone else has pointed out, it's a bad idea to put energy into him. Maybe he's attracted to you; maybe not. But it is pointless anyway.

[d0nnivain]

Thank you. I understand professors cared about their job more. But I just want to be friend with him and keep contact with him. Even this is not leading to something romantic, but it's still beneficial to me in terms of academic related stuff.

 

 

You can continue to network with him . . . just do it publically or in a professional way that leaves a paper trail.

 

 

Example:

 

 

This e-mail would be OK: Dear Professor: I have an interview coming up with XYZ Co. If you have any insights to offer I'd love to hear them. Hope you're having a great semester.

 

 

This would not: I'm really hoping the sexiest professor at Our U can help me land a job. Let's grab a drink tomorrow to talk.

 

 

Understand?

[stateofgrace]

I think you are misreading his actions entirely. It sounds like he's just being a college professor...................no I do not think he is attracted to you, and even if he IS attracted to you, it doesn't mean he's willing to sacrifice his job for you. This just sounds like he was helping out a student, who ended up trying to come on to him. Now it's awkward. Let it go.

[summergeisha]

You can continue to network with him . . . just do it publically or in a professional way that leaves a paper trail.

 

 

Example:

 

 

This e-mail would be OK: Dear Professor: I have an interview coming up with XYZ Co. If you have any insights to offer I'd love to hear them. Hope you're having a great semester.

 

 

This would not: I'm really hoping the sexiest professor at Our U can help me land a job. Let's grab a drink tomorrow to talk.

 

 

Understand?

 

 

The thing is, the semester is over. I did not pass the class. I passed his lab with a B but got a D in the lecture. I will have to email him and explain why before I take his summer class again otherwise it will be too much for him to see me again without notifying him.

 

Should I email him an short essay to thank him first and explain what happened then ask him out to talk about my academic? Otherwise I might need some advice of how to condense my situation in a sincere way . thanks so much

[summergeisha]

I think you are misreading his actions entirely. It sounds like he's just being a college professor...................no I do not think he is attracted to you, and even if he IS attracted to you, it doesn't mean he's willing to sacrifice his job for you. This just sounds like he was helping out a student, who ended up trying to come on to him. Now it's awkward. Let it go.

 

 

Not trying to defense, but can you give me some insights what actions are he suppose to have IF he is attracted to me and being a professor at the same time?

[MidwestUSA]

The thing is, the semester is over. I did not pass the class. I passed his lab with a B but got a D in the lecture. I will have to email him and explain why before I take his summer class again otherwise it will be too much for him to see me again without notifying him.

 

Should I email him an short essay to thank him first and explain what happened then ask him out to talk about my academic? Otherwise I might need some advice of how to condense my situation in a sincere way . thanks so much

 

Do you have to take the lab over as well?

 

Are you required to 'explain what happened'? It sure seems like you should be communicating with the lecture professor instead of this guy.

 

Condense 'your situation'?

 

I think you're looking for reasons to see this man. Focus on passing the class and stop bothering him before he slaps you with a harassment charge!

 

Why would you even have to explain why you're taking the class over? I'm sure he knows you failed it.

[stateofgrace]

Not trying to defense, but can you give me some insights what actions are he suppose to have IF he is attracted to me and being a professor at the same time?

.. I've never been involved with a professor as it puts a career at risk. However, I suppose if he truly did like you, first of all, he wouldn't act cold towards you. Which you've said multiple times in your post that he does. He would be more flirtatious, nothing in your post indicated flirting to me at all. It would be like any other person who was interested in another person. They would show signs of interest, which isn't happening here, in my opinion.

 

I think you just need to let this go. Stop dwelling on something you never had to begin with and focus on your school work.

[MidwestUSA]

Not trying to defense, but can you give me some insights what actions are he suppose to have IF he is attracted to me and being a professor at the same time?

 

He is not supposed to HAVE ANY! That seems to be the point you're missing here.

 

 

If you want to try to hook up, graduate first. Failing this class might just be an indication that you're a bit too distracted.

[summergeisha]

Do you have to take the lab over as well?

 

Are you required to 'explain what happened'? It sure seems like you should be communicating with the lecture professor instead of this guy.

 

Condense 'your situation'?

 

I think you're looking for reasons to see this man. Focus on passing the class and stop bothering him before he slaps you with a harassment charge!

 

Why would you even have to explain why you're taking the class over? I'm sure he knows you failed it.

 

 

He will teach both lab and lecture in the summer. Yes I have to take lab again along with the lecture with him. You failed lecture=failed the class. I do want to see him but thats not the reason I failed the class. It's not like I failed all other classes. I failed this class because I didn't go to lecture due to the time conflict between the lecture and my family business. I devoted a lot time on my family stuff so I gave up on this class.

 

I need to tell him so he will not think I was being a bad student. How am I harassing him now? You think I value him more than my grade and failed on purpose?

[MidwestUSA]

 

I need to tell him so he will not think I was being a bad student. How am I harassing him now? You think I value him more than my grade and failed on purpose?

 

There's no need for you to explain why you're back. Surely he communicates with the prof who taught the lecture you just failed. Just go pass it this time.

 

People fail and retake classes all the time. It's nothing he hasn't seen before.

[summergeisha]

.. I've never been involved with a professor as it puts a career at risk. However, I suppose if he truly did like you, first of all, he wouldn't act cold towards you. Which you've said multiple times in your post that he does. He would be more flirtatious, nothing in your post indicated flirting to me at all. It would be like any other person who was interested in another person. They would show signs of interest, which isn't happening here, in my opinion.

 

I think you just need to let this go. Stop dwelling on something you never had to begin with and focus on your school work.

 

There were mixed signals in that situation. I take whatever I described above as negative signs. Maybe people have different views toward other's behaviors. Honestly I am not sure about him that's why I am here. If he is not my teacher due to professional limited I wouldn't dwell on it too much.

 

I just want to know if he ever liked me. I will not date him because I don't see myself be with him in the long run. I just want to keep him as a contact and friend him.

[stateofgrace]

There were mixed signals in that situation. I take whatever I described above as negative signs. Maybe people have different views toward other's behaviors. Honestly I am not sure about him that's why I am here. If he is not my teacher due to professional limited I wouldn't dwell on it too much.

 

I just want to know if he ever liked me. I will not date him because I don't see myself be with him in the long run. I just want to keep him as a contact and friend him.

If you're asking our opinions on if he likes you, my answer is probably not. I'm sorry. But you asked. Do I know for sure? Obviously not, but from what you've shared, it seems he was just a college professor helping a student in need. If you don't want to date him though, then why do you even care whether he likes you or not? It shouldn't matter if you have no interest in dating him. If that's the case, then like I said before, let it go.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, I don't think he was attracted to you. I honestly see nothing in your post that indicates that. I think you like him and want to extrapolate a deeper meaning where there isn't any.

 

As for him being cold - it is frustrating when a lackadaisical student does not apply themselves and then moans about the class and resulting grade. He very likely was doing his job, which is trying to encourage you to put more of an effort into your studies. Speaking as a teacher of adults myself, I also have little patience for grown people who complain about lessons but don't do much to improve their own academic performance. Simple as that.

[summergeisha]

There's no need for you to explain why you're back. Surely he communicates with the prof who taught the lecture you just failed. Just go pass it this time.

 

People fail and retake classes all the time. It's nothing he hasn't seen before.

 

If I have to take that professor's class again for the SAME class. For me, of course it's necessary to know how to communicate with professors and explained why I have to take it again. Whether it's him or other professors.

 

Again, this is not the matter we are discussing here.

[d0nnivain]

The thing is, the semester is over. I did not pass the class. I passed his lab with a B but got a D in the lecture. I will have to email him and explain why before I take his summer class again otherwise it will be too much for him to see me again without notifying him.

 

Should I email him an short essay to thank him first and explain what happened then ask him out to talk about my academic? Otherwise I might need some advice of how to condense my situation in a sincere way . thanks so much

 

 

Absolutely not. You contacting him under these circumstances makes it look like you are trying to trade on your "relationship" with him in exchange for a grade. I put relationship in quotes because to date nobody has done anything wrong; you are just projecting or transfer your feelings to an authority figure. Since it hasn't been a reality it's not a big thing yet.

 

 

It won't be "too much" for him to see you again. The administration will assign you the class. Not him. If you need extra tutoring, after the summer semester starts, you can ask him in public at the podium after class to recommend a good tutor you can hire.

[summergeisha]

No, I don't think he was attracted to you. I honestly see nothing in your post that indicates that. I think you like him and want to extrapolate a deeper meaning where there isn't any.

 

As for him being cold - it is frustrating when a lackadaisical student does not apply themselves and then moans about the class and resulting grade. He very likely was doing his job, which is trying to encourage you to put more of an effort into your studies. Speaking as a teacher of adults myself, I also have little patience for grown people who complain about lessons but don't do much to improve their own academic performance. Simple as that.

 

 

I understand exactly what you meant on the performance part. But I have my reasons.

 

May I know what are the indications of interest as a teacher? Eye contact? Initiate conversation by asking personal questions? Body language? I have them all and there were too much. I just didn't feel like typing all of those details that doesn't question me.

 

Or you meant asking phone number? Being direct? or by touching? That's your take as being interested? If not, please tell me.

 

And if you ever attracted to a student, what will you do? If you never...then ignore this question.

[MidwestUSA]

If I have to take that professor's class again for the SAME class. For me, of course it's necessary to know how to communicate with professors and explained why I have to take it again. Whether it's him or other professors.

 

Again, this is not the matter we are discussing here.

 

 

Okay, so you really just want to know if he likes you? Ask him. Is that what you're looking for?

 

But, all indications are that he was frustrated with 1) you asking him to accept a late assignment for the lecture portion of the class. 2) you putting on your 'little bitchy' act (your description, not mine). 3) you not seeing him as an authoritative figure (for what reason? He deserves the respect he's earned).

 

How are your communicating with other professors then? Don't treat him any differently and you'll be fine.

[summergeisha]

Absolutely not. You contacting him under these circumstances makes it look like you are trying to trade on your "relationship" with him in exchange for a grade. I put relationship in quotes because to date nobody has done anything wrong; you are just projecting or transfer your feelings to an authority figure. Since it hasn't been a reality it's not a big thing yet.

 

 

It won't be "too much" for him to see you again. The administration will assign you the class. Not him. If you need extra tutoring, after the summer semester starts, you can ask him in public at the podium after class to recommend a good tutor you can hire.

 

 

 

In college, we sign up classes ourselves. I am the one inset myself into his class again, not the administration. Plus the reviews of other professors are bad compared to him on rate my professors . I just love being in his presence and enjoyed his class. Simple as that. Yeah I am very aware of his take in terms of my email. That's why I don't know how to write ... But I really have to meet with him first before he see me show up in the summer class. I have to explain.

[preraph]

I don't think he showed any signs of liking you -- and let you know more than once he wasn't amused by you. As a professor, he is obligated to try to be polite to you, which is why once you got a smile. But you put him in an awkward position, and he let you know pretty directly he didn't appreciate it.

[summergeisha]

Okay, so you really just want to know if he likes you? Ask him. Is that what you're looking for?

 

But, all indications are that he was frustrated with 1) you asking him to accept a late assignment for the lecture portion of the class. 2) you putting on your 'little bitchy' act (your description, not mine). 3) you not seeing him as an authoritative figure (for what reason? He deserves the respect he's earned).

 

How are your communicating with other professors then? Don't treat him any differently and you'll be fine.

 

I don't know. He is different. You have no idea he would joke with me by saying f you in my language. Did I mention this in my post? He is not as mature as he seems to be. He is playful. I am playful. Maybe sometimes I go over the board and he surely aware of that that's why he got mad. lol

 

He is a guy just happened to be in an authoritative figure. Otherwise he is just a man to me.