"Catfish" the TV Show

[Just_Me_Again]

I have been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin lately. Well... for a while actually. I had been on a few social sites like FB, posted my own photos, and was being my genuine self for several years. Recently, I began to realize that I had changed so dramatically and relatively quickly over the last few years, that my photos hadn't kept up with the changes. I'm not a photo hound, I never have been, so a couple now and then is all I posted.

 

After watching that TV show, Catfish... it dawned me, that I FELT like a catfish. I wasn't leading anyone on, or trying to get involved with anyone, but I felt like I was lying to my online friends, because I had physically changed so much. Even when I posted more current pics.. of course they were the best angles taken in the shadows lol. I think we all put our best face forward per say.

 

Well.. I got a little down on myself. I realized I was looking at someone I didn't know in the mirror, and someone I didn't particularly like either. Like some stranger had invaded my life.. but it was still me, standing there staring back.

 

I've kind of pulled away from FB and other places. I just needed to figure myself out and whether or not I can accept this new version of me, or find my old self. Withdrawing from these social places has left me even more isolated and feeling even more lonely. I guess I haven't accepted or adjusted enough to this alien me to get totally real and honest with full pics yet. I'm not ready to show myself to my social world, even though I have spoken very openly and honestly about the things I have been going through. Talking about it is far easier than standing in front of someone, afraid of being judged, even in a photo. I don't want to be thought of as one of those catfish hiding behind a screen. But I guess a lot of are in some way without even meaning to be.

 

How I wish the world didn't put so much stock in the outside. But it is what it is.

 

Do any of you ever feel fake, even when you're not trying to be?

[lollipopspot]

Do any of you ever feel fake, even when you're not trying to be?

 

Yes. in person I look a bit younger than I actually am, so I'm often treated as though I am younger, and I often don't correct it, because I find it so awkward. People who are my age - and even younger - have treated me as though I'm significantly younger. My neighbor keeps saying I could be her daughter - but we're not that far apart in age. Embarrassing and makes me feel like a fraud.

[Disillusioned]

Yes, that's why I don't do it.

 

Unfortunately, most people want me to act a little bit stupid... or at least fake it. Smart =/= sexy.

[Potz4prez]

I have been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin lately. Well... for a while actually. I had been on a few social sites like FB, posted my own photos, and was being my genuine self for several years. Recently, I began to realize that I had changed so dramatically and relatively quickly over the last few years, that my photos hadn't kept up with the changes. I'm not a photo hound, I never have been, so a couple now and then is all I posted.

 

After watching that TV show, Catfish... it dawned me, that I FELT like a catfish. I wasn't leading anyone on, or trying to get involved with anyone, but I felt like I was lying to my online friends, because I had physically changed so much. Even when I posted more current pics.. of course they were the best angles taken in the shadows lol. I think we all put our best face forward per say.

 

Well.. I got a little down on myself. I realized I was looking at someone I didn't know in the mirror, and someone I didn't particularly like either. Like some stranger had invaded my life.. but it was still me, standing there staring back.

 

I've kind of pulled away from FB and other places. I just needed to figure myself out and whether or not I can accept this new version of me, or find my old self. Withdrawing from these social places has left me even more isolated and feeling even more lonely. I guess I haven't accepted or adjusted enough to this alien me to get totally real and honest with full pics yet. I'm not ready to show myself to my social world, even though I have spoken very openly and honestly about the things I have been going through. Talking about it is far easier than standing in front of someone, afraid of being judged, even in a photo. I don't want to be thought of as one of those catfish hiding behind a screen. But I guess a lot of are in some way without even meaning to be.

 

How I wish the world didn't put so much stock in the outside. But it is what it is.

 

Do any of you ever feel fake, even when you're not trying to be?

 

If you're uncomfortable with your body, change it.

 

Yes, that's why I don't do it.

 

Unfortunately, most people want me to act a little bit stupid... or at least fake it. Smart =/= sexy.

 

Most people find it intimidating - because most people are dumb. Don't worry about "most people." Find a person that finds your brain sexy

[Just_Me_Again]

If you're uncomfortable with your body, change it.

 

That's a very simplistic answer and black and white way of looking at things. Unfortunately, some physical changes can't be undone. Learning to accept it and be happy and comfortable with it seems to be the only reasonable option, but that's proving extremely difficult to do.

 

Disillusioned, don't ever dumb yourself down for anyone. Oddly enough, people look at me or hear me speak and assume I'm dumb as a rock until they take time to know me and are pleasantly surprised, but those people are few and far between.

[preraph]

^ I agree. Sometimes your body is what it's destined to be. I know people look upon fat people as lazy, etc. but I wish a few of you would consider that some people get fat because of some injury or something that limits their ability to exercise. Lots of people have bad backs or nerve damage or bad feet, etc. I was able to control my weight while everything was working, but over the years injuries and wear mounted up to where I couldn't possible exercise enough to lose weight and keep losing weight. It takes both starvation and exercise for me to lose weight, with the exercising increasing over time. I have lost lots of weight over the years, but at some point, I begin to reverse and gain weight, even while maintaining diet and exercise. It's partly genetics, partly health stuff, and certainly I'm not willing to eat 1200 calories for the rest of my life. I can gain weight on that when I'm not also increasing exercise. On top of that, I work two jobs, neither of which are physical, so when am I supposed to find time to exercise.

 

That said, right or wrong, you aren't going to change what people think they're entitled to be attracted to when the media and fashion are foisting it at you 24/7. If we'd all grown up without tv, a lot more of us would look good to each other, no matter what the body type.

 

But we are what we are at this point in time, and wishing won't make it so. That said, no one should be on a dating site posting old photos. It's one thing to put your old photos on Facebook and date them but if that's all you're putting, you're being delusional that that will get you anywhere. I posted old photos of me on MySpace back before Facebook, but I dated them right on the photo. I found that even this wouldn't keep some men from losing touch with reality. I had a guy who really liked me and me him, but even though I told him my weight, etc., and that those photos were 30 years old, in his head, he fell in love with those photos. That's not a fair thing to do to someone. Of course, they should have better sense, but....both sides are culpable.

[Potz4prez]

because of some injury or something that limits their ability to exercise. Lots of people have bad backs or nerve damage

 

Got all of that and more, and I'm doing just fine. Maintaining a healthy weight is all about choices. Buuuut now this is totally off-topic.

 

 

If OP has body image issues, she always has the option to change what she can, and seek therapy for what she can't. Being comfortable in your body doesn't mean giving up on it.

[preraph]

Got ya, but it also doesn't mean making losing weight the center of your life, and quite frankly, that's what it takes to lose weight - and that's if you are healthy. I never would have been able to lose weight if I hadn't been single and in full control of my schedule and food or had to share food with or cook for someone else.