25+ yr old virgins assemble here

[BarackObama]

Tell us your stories. How did it happen?

[Targetlock]

well I'm a 28 virgin and I guess it hasn't happened because the opportunity has never arisen i guess but then again i would rather wait for the right person anyway, getting tired of waiting though.

[snowflakepua]

I am no longer a virgin, but I was a virgin when I was 26, so I feel your pain and I totally understand.

 

What happened with me, is I was raised in a very loving but religious family. I was taught that the best thing was to remain a virgin until marriage and for that reason, I passed up a few opportunities for sex when I was younger. Finally I realized, at around 22, that I was a freak. I realized that despite all the talk, no religious girls had ANY intention of saving themselves and I was making a complete fool out of myself. And even worse, news of my sexual inexperience spread throughout the other young people in my church and my friends (I never talked about it, I don't know how they figured it out) but that was really the death knell. Now almost no women were attracted to me. It was almost like the story of garlic and Dracula. My inexperince repelled them. And for years, I spoke to female relatives and female friends and tried to understand what I was doing wrong. They told me all kinds of nice things that were in the end absolutely useless. I tried everything, I went to mixers, I got more involved in church activities, I worked on becoming more confident. I tried a million and one things. Looking back at it, the biggest problem I had, is negative social proof. My horrible reputation was working against me. I was a clean, hard working, smart guy, working in a good job in the computer industry. I was sexually inexperienced. Exactly the kind of guy most women DID NOT want. This is especially true, being a young black man, who has no interest in the thug culture at all.

 

Finally, years later I met a girl who was outside of my circle of friends. I lied to her about my sexual history (if you are male virgin, you MUST do this, don't ask me why, just do it). I told her I had slept with tons of girls, made up past relationship details, etc. The relationship progressed to the physical level and I just pretended I knew everything already, just did what I saw in videos and read about in books. Everything went pretty smoothly, she didn't suspect a thing. I never told her the truth and I am very happy I didn't. In fact, what is super funny about the whole situation is I was so good, she actually said that my number was higher than the high number I made up.

 

So, my story has a happy ending.

 

Tell us your stories. How did it happen?

[somedude81]

While I didn't lose my virginity after 25, I did get my first girlfriend at 31. She was the first woman I ever had sex with that I actually cared about. In my heart I lost my virginity to her. Before her I had primarily had sex with swingers and most of them were in their 40's. I was desperate to get laid.

 

My biggest issue is that I never really figured out how to attract women and make that connection that causes them want to be more than friends with me. With my ex I got extremely lucky. I basically one the lottery. But it was for only six months, so essentially somebody took my winnings away.

 

Now here I am again, still trying to figure out how to make women like me so I can have a girlfriend again.

[alwayshere]

oops wrong thread

[carhill]

How it happened IME was two-fold:

 

One, at the time and place, post-teen, most everyone was already married, hence very few potential partners presented themselves until the first marriages started ending, which happened generally in my early 30's.

 

Two, the overall philosophy of virgin to committed relationship or marriage was antithetical to the sexual revolution of the era, which caused women to express their perspective that lack of sexual assertiveness = lack of general romantic interest. No meeting of the minds.