More than friendship

[idontknow98]

Me and this girl have been talking to each other pretty regularly since we met about 2 months ago from school. I went into it like she was going to be a new friend but she wanted more. I told her that I wasn't interested in a relationship with her or anything and she said that was okay. She still texts me all the time and wants to hang out ALL THE TIME but now after that happened I just don't feel like being associated with her anymore. I feel like the whole time she is still going to want to be more than friends and that will just get annoying. What should I do? I've never really been in this situation before.

[Tailor2000]

I'd say don't rush too quickly.

 

If you two obviously click and have fun, what a great friendship. Just don't let it cross the line. Stop over thinking.

[littleplanet]

The operative thing here is that you've never been in this kind of situation before.

 

Once you expressed to her (after it became apparent that she wanted more- than just friendship) she said that was okay.

It may very well still be okay with her.....or it may not.

This is what you need to clarify.

 

Based on her actions now......is she still just acting friendly? Or clingy?

Or something that tells you she still wants more?

 

Is the friendship of particular value to you?

If it is....then be respectful of her feelings.

If it isn't - still be respectful, but just bow out gracefully. (You have no skin in the game.)

 

If you have been genuinely friendly with someone - no need to dump on them for just being more attracted to you than you are to them.

But on the other hand, you have a responsibility to yourself to not let something like this get out of hand, and do any damage.

 

Remember: you're kind of in the driver's seat, here. You're the one remaining cool, detached - it's just a friendship.

 

And finally: if something about her has just turned you off....no interest....then don't drag it on. That decision ultimately helps the both of you.No resentments.

It sucks sometimes to repel a friendly advance. But sometimes, you have to.

 

If you've never been in this kind of situation before - it's just a learning curve.

Edited May 23, 2014 by littleplanet

[preraph]

She's being clingy and she's probably always going to want more. This happens to all of us sometime. Once you know they want more, you're not going to be comfortable. Once you tell them you are not interested but they keep trying, they are being disrespectful. It all ends up usually being a waste of time. Unless you have some ties (like mutual friends) that demand you be somewhat friendly, I say but the tie. I have someone like this for the past decades and it got very uncomfortable at the time and to this day he will sometimes meddle a bit even though he's married, etc. Because we had mutual friends, he was sort of part of the family and he does have many good points and has been a good friend, but I know him hanging on to me during that period was not healthy for either one of us. You'd probably be doing her a favor to just cut her loose so she can stop pretending you're her bf and move on.