johnnie3391 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 so my wife and i have been married for quite some time now. though we seem to have a terrific sex life recently i find myself fantasizing about a 3 way. My wife, myself and another guy. it may just be too many porno's but whenever i think about it the juices get going. my wife seems to just want to make me happy and said that she's not into it but if its something i really want she would do it. i'm worried i'm opening up a can of worms here and if we do go down this route it may affect our marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 so my wife and i have been married for quite some time now. though we seem to have a terrific sex life recently i find myself fantasizing about a 3 way. My wife, myself and another guy. it may just be too many porno's but whenever i think about it the juices get going. my wife seems to just want to make me happy and said that she's not into it but if its something i really want she would do it. i'm worried i'm opening up a can of worms here and if we do go down this route it may affect our marriage. I think it's a bad idea. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 If she's not wholeheartedly into it, it's likely to be a bad idea. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 If she's not wholeheartedly into it, it's likely to be a bad idea. Either way, it's a bad idea. It's like OP is saying "I have a wife that really loves me and it seems like this thing will last for a while. Now how can I sabotage it?" Seems like OP is dying to get cheated on and dumped. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 i'm worried i'm opening up a can of worms here and if we do go down this route it may affect our marriage. You have been blessed with a vision of your future. Heed this warning and stop watching porno. At least watch couples' porno together that helps both of you reignite your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Enjoy the fantasy. Buy some toys. If you try to make the fantasy a reality, it's more likely to turn into a nightmare then something positive. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Here's my advice on three-ways: Do them with two people you have no emotional ties to because yes, it always opens a can of worms. My old high school best friend talked me into one with her and her man and then she got pissy because he seemed to enjoy me more than her, which was only because it was a novelty for him. Then that all backfired onto me, even though it wasn't my idea, years later when she felt free to sleep with a guy I was in love with, which terminated my friendship with her and romance with him, though I worked with him for years afterwards, which also had many repercussions. Oh, my dear, the ripples will be felt for centuries. Don't do it. Either stop watching porn and thinking about it or just do fantasy. And trust me, the reality is more awkward than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 preraph's expierence squares with what I always thought the reality would be. A long ago EX mentioned the idea to me once. I said I'd think about it. After giving it some thought I said no because I assumed I'd be too jealous to share my man. I admitted that under other circumstances I may have been able to do it if I was the outsider who got to walk away after but I just didn't see how it wouldn't ruin our relationship. He respected that & never brought it up again. While the fantasy remains, it will never be a reality for a lot of very good reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leeway Harris Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I think you're playing with fire here. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 My last boyfriend was dumped over a foursome. He organised it without telling me, I walked in on him with another woman. I left with the other man. Don't go there!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
firmness Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 It doesn't need to be repeated, but I will anyway - DO NOT do this. Once you break a person's fidelity it will never come back. I had these fantasies when I was married too. And I mentioned them to wifey. She said no. But ultimately she cheated on me. I cannot blame this, but if you value your relationship, you will drop this and never bring it up again. Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Someone has to go against the majority... I say do it. You only live once... Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 That old saying. "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it" Ever hear of it? Said this a thousand times so now it's a thousand and one, keep your fantasies in your head where they belong. A can of worms is putting it mildly but it's you life, your wife and your marriage not mine. Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Someone has to go against the majority... I say do it. You only live once... #yolo (10 characters) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 In a committed relationship, it is 99% going to cause some issue. Unless both parties are 100% into it.. and even then there's a likely chance of someone getting their knickers in a knot over it. I think the only time 3somes can work is when all three people don't really know each other, or will never see each other again.. like people you meet traveling. I had a FFM 3some with my best friend many years ago.. we picked a guy up from a bar together. It was fun, we were both young and the whole thing was pretty funny really. The guy got performance anxiety and spent most of the time get angry at himself for not being able to enjoy this unexpected Fantasy encounter! It was never an issue between my friend and I. We never really mention it. Young fun and past. Also, on a side note......Just want to give kudos to the OP for wanting a MMF 3some and not being the usual predictable man who wants a FFM 3some with his partner but would never consider a MMF one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Your juices might be flowing thinking about it, but if you do it and her juices are flowing, you might find yourself in a situation where she regularly wants someone else's penis in her. You might not be so thrilled about it if that happens and you did not think it was so great Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 My wife and I have been involved in swinging for almost ten years and were quite highly active in it for about half a dozen years and have had a wide variety of experiences involving threesomes (both FMF and MFM) foursomes and moresomes. so my wife and i have been married for quite some time now. How long? What are your ages? any kids etc? though we seem to have a terrific sex life recently i find myself fantasizing about a 3 way. Even the pope fantasizes about 3 ways just as much as the next guy. He and everyone else just deny it. Fantasizing about it and actually wanting to do it are two different things. And Actually setting out to make it happen is something all together different. My wife, myself and another guy. it may just be too many porno's but whenever i think about it the juices get going. There is one way to tell if it is too much porn or if it's something you actually want to do. If you only want to do it when you are watching porn or in an aroused and stimulated state but don't really want to do it when you are not in an aroused or stimulated state, then you aren't ready. If you are filling up the car on your way home from work and are pumping gas and are thinking to yourself that it would be fun to have a 3way and you are hoping you can do it while you are pumping gas, then it is probably something that you need to have a serious sit-down conversation with your wife about this. my wife seems to just want to make me happy and said that she's not into it but if its something i really want she would do it. Lots to say about this. first off, wives are required by chick-code to say that. What she said is right out of the script. As a general rule, women do not walk around in an aroused state dreaming about what it would be like to engage in group sex, but rather they either are or are not responsive to the opportunity when the situation arises. The "situation" is almost initiated by the male half of the couple darn near 100% of the time. Now a couple things to keep in mind. first is, the fact that she did not say, "..not only no, but HELL no and puck you for asking...!!" means that she is pretty open-minded to it and will consider it under the right circumstances. It's just a matter of deciphering the code of what will be the right circumstances or not....and there are entire books written on how to do that. The odds are that if that was her reaction to you bringing it up - she is game. The catch is, if she actually is that passive and is doing it "just for you" it ain't gonna work. In order for it to work and in order for it to be even the slightest bit enjoyable for anyone, she is going to have to be on-board with the program and an active participant. i'm worried i'm opening up a can of worms here and if we do go down this route it may affect our marriage. Make no mistake, this WILL affect your marriage - no doubt about that whatsoever. The devil is in the details about whether it will be a good time had by all and something positive and exciting and bonding, or whether it will be a disaster that causes problems and issues. The other posters are being a little harsh and sticking to the standard naysayer company line that dictates that anything other than strict monogamy will guarantee marital disaster. Most of the people who shout the loudest to never do it, have never done it themselves. People who have tried it and screwed it up at every step of the way and it all blew up in their faces will also tell horror stories. People who have done it and had success with it and no problems from it, will state there are risks and potential pitfalls but no need for any kind of sky-is-falling mentality. That's all poppycock of course, people have successful 3somes and 4somes and such all the time and nothing bad ever comes from it. Are there risks and are there potential pitfalls and is it really really easy to screw it up and really bungle things? YES, ABSOLUTELY! but there's also potential for big payoff too. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. My responses to your specific points are in bold above. Obviously I don't believe in an automatic, knee-jerk, "3somes-are-bad" response any time the concept of a 3way is brought up. But the risks are high, it's very easy to screw up and the potential to blow up an otherwise sound marriage are there. Tell us a little more about what you two have discussed and what your objectives and concerns are and maybe we can discuss it a little more and see if it is something you can work with or not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Also, on a side note......Just want to give kudos to the OP for wanting a MMF 3some and not being the usual predictable man who wants a FFM 3some with his partner but would never consider a MMF one. Actually it is a very common fantasy with men. It's just not talked about as much and the people who actually want to do it are pretty quickly and easily able to pull it off without too much trouble or fanfare so you don't hear much about it. Men having FMF fantasies is universal but it is much much harder to pull off so it takes a lot more work and gets a lot more media coverage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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