OLD people who overdo it with kids in pictures

[irc333]

There are some things I'm discovering that are a turn off to me when it comes to dating profiles and ALSO would be not recommended.

 

A few profiles on OK Cupid I've seen, but one that sticks out is a single mid 30's mother with one young child.

 

Seems every single selfie picture of her is with her and her child snuggling up, him kissing her on the cheek, or some selfie entailing that.

 

Of course she follows it up with, "My child is my world" and under things she couldn't live with out are "kisses from her boy".

 

Just a bit off putting. Makes me think the "umbilical cord" is still there.

 

Sorry to come off this way, but I know some single mothers that think it's unrecommended as well to have pictures of your child up on the site.

 

Agree? Disagree? Do you keep the pictures strictly to yourself?

[iiiii]

I think nothing wrong with a mother (or father) having a picture or two of their child in their OLD profile. That might be a turn off to some people, but likely only the ones who would lose interest once they found out the person had kids anyway. If you're OK with dating a parent, you shouldn't mind a picture of their kid on their OLD profile.

 

But the child in every picture? I'd call that a little obsessed. It would turn me off. It would make me wonder if the person had any interests other than the child, and also make me wonder if they would have any time at all for a partner.

[irc333]

I think nothing wrong with a mother (or father) having a picture or two of their child in their OLD profile. That might be a turn off to some people, but likely only the ones who would lose interest once they found out the person had kids anyway. If you're OK with dating a parent, you shouldn't mind a picture of their kid on their OLD profile.

 

But the child in every picture? I'd call that a little obsessed. It would turn me off. It would make me wonder if the person had any interests other than the child, and also make me wonder if they would have any time at all for a partner.

 

 

Yes, the latter is what I'm referring to, though I know of single parents take objection to putting any photos of their children on an online dating site. They see it as a faux pas, just something that is not recommended. Some feel it even unsafe to do so.

[sillyanswer]

Generally I think that if too many pics of her kids turns of the viewer then that's not who she's trying to attract anyway... but...

 

and also make me wonder if they would have any time at all for a partner.

 

... this is one of my concerns with profiles that are a little bit too child-heavy.

 

 

Maybe they're hoping to meet a partner who also has similar-aged children so that they can do child-centric dates.

[irc333]

Generally I think that if too many pics of her kids turns of the viewer then that's not who she's trying to attract anyway... but...

 

 

 

... this is one of my concerns with profiles that are a little bit too child-heavy.

 

 

Maybe they're hoping to meet a partner who also has similar-aged children so that they can do child-centric dates.

 

Don't get me wrong, I value family very much. But yeah, agreed....there is such thing as overdoing it.

[preraph]

Hey, there's a reason there's an optional Facebook app that will blank out all photos of kids. It's because that's the number one gripe of people on Facebook, the plethora of kid photos no one wants to look at. No one cares about photos of your kids except the parents and grandparents, period. Everyone else is just faking it. It's a very narcissistic thing to think everyone cares, and this is something new because it wasn't like that growing up. Everyone had kids and no one was expected to fuss over someone else's kids. This isn't attention for the kids; it's a bid for attention from the mother. The kids get nothing out of it except more chance of being abducted for a stranger.

 

In OLD, consider it fair warning. These single mothers are looking for another father and financial relief for them and their kids. No, I don't blame them, but it does seem epidemic that so many women have kids without any thought how they're ever going to afford them. And very few people can afford to keep them to a standard that was pretty easy to do when I grew up as long as one person worked. So there's desperation there because of finances. And equally, they desperately need a partner so they can babysit so the mother has a chance to do something without the kids, like work or go shopping without them in tow.

 

I'm not limiting it to mothers here. There's a whole lot of dads with joint custody who want to find a babysitter -- I mean, new woman to date asap after divorce because they don't want to be the one to do the daily chores for their kids, which is often why they got divorced to begin with.

 

It's great when two people who have kids who can get behind this arrangement because it's mutually beneficial. But if you've never had kids, don't go into it thinking mothers are just like every other woman and you'll be the center of her universe. Once women have kids, the kids always come first -- and frankly, they should most of the time, though I think a smart woman who isn't subsisting solely on creating a self-image for herself as a total selfless martyr will carve out some time for herself and her love life some way, if only so she can present a more substantial model for her offspring. But you can't do that often with kids. They're a full-time job.

 

If these statements of dedication attached to kid photos creep you out, don't even go there. That's only the tip of the iceberg.

[TheBladeRunner]

Agreed iirc, I am just as proud of a parent as the next person, but I will not include photos of my child on the internet, especially online dating. Although i don't do it, when I see it it really doesn't put me off, but I will say one thing that does. "I'm a single mother of XX and my kids always come first".

 

Why do people (men do it too) have to announce how important their kids are? I KNOW mine is important, but I see no reason to point that out; it's a "given".