iiiii Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Sort of a pointless post, but I'm interested. Seems to me, when people on this forum (mostly men, but the occasional girl) tell us they just can't get a single date with ANYONE, they actually mean they can't get a date with anyone who fits their desired physical criteria. Mostly I hear about guys who won't date girls over a certain weight, no matter how nice the girl is. And about girls who won't date guys under a certain height, no matter how nice the guy is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with refusing to date people you find physically unattractive - but it's just not the same thing as not being able to get a single date. It reminds me of when I look in my cupboard and say "there's NOTHING to wear". Heck, that's not true. There's just nothing I want to wear. I'm still not going to be leaving the house naked today. So I'm interested. Are there really people on this forum who cannot get a date with any person? People who would honestly date any (sane and reasonably nice person) of any age/any weight/any looks/any race but who genuinely keep getting rejected by absolutely everyone? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Oh god... do you realize what you've just done? You've given all the sad self-loathers a platform to debate who's the saddest. But anywho... I think the problem lies in people refusing to see themselves for what they really are. In their mind, they're skinnier, smarter, funnier, etc than all the girls/guys they meet that are similar to them. SO, they go after people that really ARE skinnier, smarter and funnier than them, and get rejected. Once they realize where they stand, and start asking people out who are in the same dating strata, they will start getting dates. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 When it comes to women who do this (whine about not meeting good guys they like), I see a lot of "it's not you, it's them!" where as the guys are told "it's you" LOL. I always wonder why that is. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Unfortunately. Nice does not get my penis hard. Nor do I assume it gets women wet. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Unfortunately. Nice does not get my penis hard. Nor do I assume it gets women wet. Nice on it's own, no not necessarily. Lots of people are nice. The mailman at my apartment is nice. Just nice isn't enough, why would it be? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Sort of a pointless post, but I'm interested. Seems to me, when people on this forum (mostly men, but the occasional girl) tell us they just can't get a single date with ANYONE, they actually mean they can't get a date with anyone who fits their desired physical criteria. And what's wrong with that? Tell me iiiiiii, would you want to be in a relationship with a man who was not only not turned on by you, he wasn't attracted to you at all? So I'm interested. Are there really people on this forum who cannot get a date with any person? People who would honestly date any (sane and reasonably nice person) of any age/any weight/any looks/any race but who genuinely keep getting rejected by absolutely everyone? I don't think anybody is crazy enough to try. Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN iiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When it comes to women who do this (whine about not meeting good guys they like), I see a lot of "it's not you, it's them!" where as the guys are told "it's you" LOL. I always wonder why that is. Men are competitive. If you didn't make it onto varsity, it's because you sucked. And dating IS a competition for men. Whereas women seem to have this unspoken comradery, forged in the awkwardness of puberty. Nice on it's own, no not necessarily. Lots of people are nice. The mailman at my apartment is nice. Just nice isn't enough, why would it be? Please and thank you is all you need to get into my pants -.- Edit: You know... this thread was conveniently timed... The California college student whose family believes is the Santa Barbara gunman described himself as the "ultimate gentleman," but was baffled - and angry - why the "many beautiful girls here... are so repulsed by me." http://abcnews.go.com/US/santa-barbara-shooting-suspect-calls-loneliness-darkest-hell/story?id=23855994 Edited May 25, 2014 by Potz4prez 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) When it comes to women who do this (whine about not meeting good guys they like), I see a lot of "it's not you, it's them!" where as the guys are told "it's you" LOL. I always wonder why that is. There's some truth to this. Although I tell *everyone* it's them. I've told women to be more proactive (*cough* poster who calls herself "hopeful" *cough*) and check their people-pickers and consider how their own erratic behavior is making things harder. Truth be told though the male whiners outnumber the women and tend to be more aggressive.... Edited May 25, 2014 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
InnocentMan Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Personally, my ego is way too fragile to risk rejection from a fat chick. Even if she says yes, all you've got is a date with a chubby. It's high risk for low reward. Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Men are entitled. They think it is their right for females to date and hump them regardless of any other factors. They whine about the girls who go after the bad boys and the druggies and compare themselves as better than them. Apparently, if you are a dull boy with less than average looks whose entire life revolves around finding a gf, you aren't interesting, it has nothing to do with being nice because plenty of nice, smart, cute, interesting guys get girls all the time. Women think they deserve less and men think they deserve more, therefore women settle for idiots and bad boys and men want the top of the pack, the most beautiful and sexy with the biggest hooters so they can be admired by their friends. It is whack. No one is entitled to anything. If you aren't getting laid or a date, it is because you are lacking in some way so work on it. Gym, education, job, makeovers, hobbies, friendships, loyalty, confidence, knowing who you are as a person and what you believe,etc. makes you more interesting to others because it ups your ante. Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Men are entitled. They think it is their right for females to date and hump them regardless of any other factors. They whine about the girls who go after the bad boys and the druggies and compare themselves as better than them. Apparently, if you are a dull boy with less than average looks whose entire life revolves around finding a gf, you aren't interesting, it has nothing to do with being nice because plenty of nice, smart, cute, interesting guys get girls all the time. Women think they deserve less and men think they deserve more, therefore women settle for idiots and bad boys and men want the top of the pack, the most beautiful and sexy with the biggest hooters so they can be admired by their friends. It is whack. No one is entitled to anything. If you aren't getting laid or a date, it is because you are lacking in some way so work on it. Gym, education, job, makeovers, hobbies, friendships, loyalty, confidence, knowing who you are as a person and what you believe,etc. makes you more interesting to others because it ups your ante. As I said before, to get girls in the US, you have to conform to the ideals of society. I always tell guys...yes, it's ridiculous to have to change yourself like that, but either do it or don't. But know that if you don't, you will not be successful with women in the US. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 LOL..yeah, I hear a lot of women complaining about "There's no men to date in my area!" Apparently, the geographic desirability of men where she lives is slim to none, one was even considering moving for that very reason. She never did though. Also, this one woman on POF, mid 30's, single, never married, no children.....reminded me of the same situation. Very attractive woman, but had to resort to online dating as pretty much the only means to meet men. She even explained in her profile she hadn't dated in FIVE years, was seeking a Godly man as she's an active member of her church and even volunteered to work at the school nursery. Apparently, not a single man in her congregation was good enough for her. She was quite socially active in many venues as well, did volunteer work, gym, etc. Never she's dated men who had asked her out. So she said, "My friends told me about POF, and I heard great things" Man, she's in for a RUDE awakening! LOL Sort of a pointless post, but I'm interested. Seems to me, when people on this forum (mostly men, but the occasional girl) tell us they just can't get a single date with ANYONE, they actually mean they can't get a date with anyone who fits their desired physical criteria. Mostly I hear about guys who won't date girls over a certain weight, no matter how nice the girl is. And about girls who won't date guys under a certain height, no matter how nice the guy is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with refusing to date people you find physically unattractive - but it's just not the same thing as not being able to get a single date. It reminds me of when I look in my cupboard and say "there's NOTHING to wear". Heck, that's not true. There's just nothing I want to wear. I'm still not going to be leaving the house naked today. So I'm interested. Are there really people on this forum who cannot get a date with any person? People who would honestly date any (sane and reasonably nice person) of any age/any weight/any looks/any race but who genuinely keep getting rejected by absolutely everyone? Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 As I said before, to get girls in the US, you have to conform to the ideals of society. I always tell guys...yes, it's ridiculous to have to change yourself like that, but either do it or don't. But know that if you don't, you will not be successful with women in the US. Well, good thing this is only in the US. lol I guess I better start making moves on those cute Filipina's that are on HI-B work VISA's at the local hospitals. lol Link to post Share on other sites
TAV Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I'm not really familiar with this whole dating culture but from what I observe here and in real life the problem lies for a large part in the fact that it is approached as part of the consumer society. People in the Western world have the funds to be picky about what or where they want to eat, what they want to drive, what kind of house they want to live in etc. etc. I think a lot of people want someone who checks all their boxes instead of taking the time to get to know someone. Apart from the lucky ones who get the whole 'love at first sight' experience (imo that is mostly 'lust at first sight') love takes time to grow. You need to take your time to get to know someone, if possible in a surrounding that does not put any pressure on you, a place where you can just start out as friends. Now I do understand that it is not so simple for a lot of people who weren't lucky enough to meet someone at school, uni or doing a hobby. If you have to do the whole dating thing,try to decide for yourself what the few things are that you really cannot live with and try to give anybody who does not fall into this category, but who you feel a connection with, a chance. A real chance I mean. Do not cross someone off the list just because one of his teeth is chipped or anything else silly. The beauty of love, for me, is that you get to know someone and that they become (more) beautiful/gorgeous in your eyes because of who they are on the inside. We all have flaws, whether that is re our appearance or our character; nobody is perfect. In the end you also want to be accepted for who you are and not the perfect version of yourself. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Sort of a pointless post, but I'm interested. Seems to me, when people on this forum (mostly men, but the occasional girl) tell us they just can't get a single date with ANYONE, they actually mean they can't get a date with anyone who fits their desired physical criteria. Of course, this is true. I don't think anyone would deny that. It does get kind of annoying to hear the "I can't get ANY woman, not one single one!!" statements when it isn't really the truth, but I suppose it's fairly common in conversation to omit logical qualifiers. I mean, when I think about it, on a bad day I'll grumble, "Damn, nothing's going right today", but obviously something is going right, otherwise I wouldn't still be alive. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Men are entitled. They think it is their right for females to date and hump them regardless of any other factors. They whine about the girls who go after the bad boys and the druggies and compare themselves as better than them. Apparently, if you are a dull boy with less than average looks whose entire life revolves around finding a gf, you aren't interesting, it has nothing to do with being nice because plenty of nice, smart, cute, interesting guys get girls all the time. Women think they deserve less and men think they deserve more, therefore women settle for idiots and bad boys and men want the top of the pack, the most beautiful and sexy with the biggest hooters so they can be admired by their friends. It is whack. No one is entitled to anything. If you aren't getting laid or a date, it is because you are lacking in some way so work on it. Gym, education, job, makeovers, hobbies, friendships, loyalty, confidence, knowing who you are as a person and what you believe,etc. makes you more interesting to others because it ups your ante. The man hate is strong in this one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 The man hate is strong in this one. Why? For stating the obvious? Most men are happily dating away except for the ones here who feel entitled. Don't you think that is odd? Most guys here who seem like they aren't entitled have break up issues or dating problems, not getting a gf at all problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Why? For stating the obvious? Most men are happily dating away except for the ones here who feel entitled. Don't you think that is odd? Most guys here who seem like they aren't entitled have break up issues or dating problems, not getting a gf at all problems. OH, right. Totally agree. Carry on haha. It's all that porn and media they're watching maaann.... Unrealistic expectations. And the longer they go without being with a real woman, the worse it gets. They just need to jump the gun on the first thing that shows interest and bring themselves back to the real world. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I think generally speaking, if you are a guy who is actively trying to get dates - approaching women, asking them out, doing OLD and Tinder with good photos and a decently written profile, doing Meetup, etc. - and you are seeing a 100% rejection rate, odds are that you are aiming too high and should adjust your focus. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I think generally speaking, if you are a guy who is actively trying to get dates - approaching women, asking them out, doing OLD and Tinder with good photos and a decently written profile, doing Meetup, etc. - and you are seeing a 100% rejection rate, odds are that you are aiming too high and should adjust your focus. So how do you know how low to go? Most men don't want to pursue obese women, regardless if they are obese or not. You've seen the pictures of my and I. Could you imagine me with a woman who was 50 lbs heavier than I am? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I think generally speaking, if you are a guy who is actively trying to get dates - approaching women, asking them out, doing OLD and Tinder with good photos and a decently written profile, doing Meetup, etc. - and you are seeing a 100% rejection rate, odds are that you are aiming too high and should adjust your focus. I agree. And I don't understand when people are not adequately attracted to people like them. If you're not getting much sexual attention, and he comes a warm, soft woman who wants to give you sexual attention, how is she not enough? Why is it enough for the millions of men, but others end up single and lonely because they can't get aroused with a woman who isn't hot? Maybe it's an arousal problem. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 You've seen the pictures of my and I. Could you imagine me with a woman who was 50 lbs heavier than I am? I see it every day. Not everyone can get a hottie! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 But they tell me there is no such thing as "leagues"... However, you are correct. Its not getting a girlfriend that's the problem. It's getting a girlfriend who you actually like and are sexually attracted to, which cannot be ignored because without sexual attraction, a romantic relationship is not possible. And of course it's necessary to actually like the person. I feel like because of my lack of height and average looks I won't be able to get a girlfriend that I am actually attracted to both physically and as a person. This is the cause of my self-loathing. No, I don't think I have standards that are too high, but I do need to actually be attracted to the girl. Otherwise, what's the point? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I see it every day. Not everyone can get a hottie! Just because a woman is not obese does not mean that she is hot. Or is that how low standards of beauty have fallen? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Just because a woman is not obese does not mean that she is hot. Or is that how low standards of beauty have fallen? I didn't say that at all 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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