People who can't get a date with "anyone"?

[somedude81]

That's ONE person. I can get to know 100 average looking guys, and maybe grow attracted to 3.

 

And I'm not talking about giving a woman a chance. I'm talking about giving YOURSELF a chance by getting to know a heck of a lot more people on a friendly level without any intention of getting a date. Be far, far more social, and you will experience so many things you've never experienced before.

 

You're losing me. How is that relevant to dating?

 

BTW, if you can get to know 100 average looking guys, and only grow attracted to 3 of them, then that tells me that you are extremely picky.

 

I could get to know 100 average looking girls, and maybe grow attracted to 80 of them.

[xxoo]

You're losing me. How is that relevant to dating?

 

BTW, if you can get to know 100 average looking guys, and only grow attracted to 3 of them, then that tells me that you are extremely picky.

 

I could get to know 100 average looking girls, and maybe grow attracted to 80 of them.

 

It is relevant to dating for a million reasons. The relevant reason here is that, if you are like the vast majority of people, you will find yourself attracted to unexpected people after getting to know them a bit. It's chemistry, or connection, or whatever. It's unpredictable, and it's how most of us probably find our partners naturally.

 

It doesn't matter how many you or anyone else is attracted to. It matters that attraction can change as we get to know personality (for better and for worse), and what happens with ONE person doesn't predict how it will happen with all.

[hasaquestion]

You're losing me. How is that relevant to dating?

 

BTW, if you can get to know 100 average looking guys, and only grow attracted to 3 of them, then that tells me that you are extremely picky.

 

I could get to know 100 average looking girls, and maybe grow attracted to 80 of them.

 

I guess I need to be less picky then.

 

I'd say its def easier for women to get sex than a real relationship.

 

From what I've experienced I'd say women look at men like this:

1. Would bang him and date him

2. Wouldn't bang him or date him

 

Conversely, men look at women like this:

1. Would bang her and date her

2. Would bang her but wouldn't date her

3. Would neither bang her nor date her

 

Guys have that middle category and girls don't.

 

So single girls have a lot more access to sex - they can go after guys who are in their Group 1, but to whom they are only in group 2. Whereas guys can't find a girl who isn't that attracted to them but will have sex with them for the time being, nearly as easily.

 

But both genders are comparably picky (relative to what they offer, at least) about who they put in group 1.

[PJKino]

I think somedude getting friends and a social network is a must but i dont think it means hell fall for a girl hes not physically attracted to..

 

Ive met alot of cool girls but i couldnt stomach them physically so they are just friends nothing more

[somedude81]

It is relevant to dating for a million reasons. The relevant reason here is that, if you are like the vast majority of people, you will find yourself attracted to unexpected people after getting to know them a bit. It's chemistry, or connection, or whatever. It's unpredictable, and it's how most of us probably find our partners naturally.

 

It doesn't matter how many you or anyone else is attracted to. It matters that attraction can change as we get to know personality (for better and for worse), and what happens with ONE person doesn't predict how it will happen with all.

 

If that's the case, how come you are only attracted to 3 out of 100 men?

 

Frankly xxoo, you're coming across as very hypocritical to me.

 

My standards for dating are far below yours.

[PJKino]

If that's the case, how come you are only attracted to 3 out of 100 men?

 

Frankly xxoo, you're coming across as very hypocritical to me.

 

My standards for dating are far below yours.

 

Yeah her always saying about herself and women its not about looks and they arent as visual and shallow as men stuff never seemed that authentic to me

[Keenly]

I never understood the discarding attraction or " lowering standards "

 

Attraction is biological. That's your brain saying " well HELLOOO there, your genes would mix great with my genes ! "

 

That's the biological purpose of physical attraction. If we want to label that as shallow, then okay, biology is shallow, but it can not and should not be discarded.

 

 

If you get with some one you are not attracted to , its going to be pretty hard to be passionate about them. Hell, you have to FORCE yourself to.

[xxoo]

If that's the case, how come you are only attracted to 3 out of 100 men?

 

Frankly xxoo, you're coming across as very hypocritical to me.

 

My standards for dating are far below yours.

 

How am I hypocritical? I dated men about equally as attractive to me.

 

But I rejected some other guys equally or more attractive, because looks aren't everything.

[xxoo]

I never understood the discarding attraction or " lowering standards "

 

Attraction is biological. That's your brain saying " well HELLOOO there, your genes would mix great with my genes ! "

 

That's the biological purpose of physical attraction. If we want to label that as shallow, then okay, biology is shallow, but it can not and should not be discarded.

 

 

If you get with some one you are not attracted to , its going to be pretty hard to be passionate about them. Hell, you have to FORCE yourself to.

 

It can't be forced. If it happens, it happens. And it does happen sometimes, unpredictably, but only if given a chance. It certainly won't happen if a guy spends his time only talking to women he's initially attracted to, and otherwise lonely at home.

[PJKino]

How am I hypocritical? I dated men about equally as attractive to me.

 

But I rejected some other guys equally or more attractive, because looks aren't everything.

 

You always preached how unshallow you are and how other things aside from looks turn you on to men yet its not like your dating unattractive men your dating men your equal lol

 

This is what i mean by women saying looks dont matter becasue they arent daitng some male model and want to make it seem like they should be cannonized for dating men on their own level

[xxoo]

You always preached how unshallow you are and how other things aside from looks turn you on to men yet its not like your dating unattractive men your dating men your equal lol

 

This is what i mean by women saying looks dont matter becasue they arent daitng some male model and want to make it seem like they should be cannonized for dating men on their own level

 

You'll have to take my word that I didn't choose my partner based on looks. Out of a pool of guys about as physically attractive as him/me, it was other qualities that made him stand out as irresistible to me. All the guys were basically as attractive as me, but that doesn't mean they are all sexually attractive to me.

[somedude81]

How am I hypocritical? I dated men about equally as attractive to me.

 

But I rejected some other guys equally or more attractive, because looks aren't everything.

 

And yet here you are trying to convince me to date women who I consider to be far below my looks. Look at the pictures I have in my album. Am I equivalent in looks to an obese woman?

 

Also since, you'd only be attracted to 3 out of 100 men, it seems that you consider yourself to be extremely attractive.

 

I have no issues at all with you xxoo, but this whole thing of trying to get me to date obese women just isn't working. Especially when it's obvious that you won't date a man you consider to be far below your level of attractiveness.

[clia]

You always preached how unshallow you are and how other things aside from looks turn you on to men yet its not like your dating unattractive men your dating men your equal lol

 

This is what i mean by women saying looks dont matter becasue they arent daitng some male model and want to make it seem like they should be cannonized for dating men on their own level

 

I think the point is that some of these people who complain about not being able to get a date are not trying to date their equal.

[xxoo]

And yet here you are trying to convince me to date women who I consider to be far below my looks.

 

Also since, you'd only be attracted to 3 out of 100 men, it seems that you consider yourself to be extremely attractive.

 

I have no issues at all with you xxoo, but this whole thing of trying to get me to date obese women just isn't working. Especially when it's obvious that you won't date a man you consider to be far below your level of attractiveness.

 

I am NOT trying to get you to date anyone you aren't attracted to. I am trying to get you to get to know some women better who match you in attractiveness, and see if any sparks fly. Because that is what normal people do, and sparks often fly. You probably never had that experience because you aren't friendly with a lot of people.

 

Me being attracted to relatively few men doesn't mean I am very attractive. It just means I'm not personally attracted to ALL men as attractive as me. Most people aren't.

 

And yes, I think you could be equal in attractiveness to an obese individual. Not all "obese women" are equally attractive or unattractive.

[somedude81]

I am NOT trying to get you to date anyone you aren't attracted to. I am trying to get you to get to know some women better who match you in attractiveness, and see if any sparks fly. Because that is what normal people do, and sparks often fly. You probably never had that experience because you aren't friendly with a lot of people.

 

Me being attracted to relatively few men doesn't mean I am very attractive. It just means I'm not personally attracted to ALL men as attractive as me. Most people aren't.

 

And yes, I think you could be equal in attractiveness to an obese individual. Not all "obese women" are equally attractive or unattractive.

 

And I have no objection to getting to know women who match me in attractiveness. I'm not just talking to hot blonde girls with big boobs, if that's what you think I'm doing.

 

Yes I am friendly with lots of people. I talk to lots of girls each semester. The vast majority of them are about equal in attractiveness to me.

 

I disagree with you that an obese woman can be equal in looks to myself.

[suladas]

And I have no objection to getting to know women who match me in attractiveness. I'm not just talking to hot blonde girls with big boobs, if that's what you think I'm doing.

 

Yes I am friendly with lots of people. I talk to lots of girls each semester. The vast majority of them are about equal in attractiveness to me.

 

I disagree with you that an obese woman can be equal in looks to myself.

 

So do I, many are more attractive....

[PJKino]

While i think its good to be flexible on attraction theyres a line everyone has.

 

Im not trying to be mean but get physically ill at the thought of being intimate with obese women i know i couldnt be romantically involved with one

[suladas]

While i think its good to be flexible on attraction theyres a line everyone has.

 

Im not trying to be mean but get physically ill at the thought of being intimate with obese women i know i couldnt be romantically involved with one

 

If you're attracted to her, you'll think she is perfect and won't be able to keep your hands off her. Attraction is far more then just looks.

 

And why do people keep bringing up obese when anyone else suggests a woman who possibly has a few extra pounds? Could even be consider normal BMI, or just a hair above in the overweight range.

 

I guarantee you if you searched the internet you could find plenty of woman considered overweight, even obese on the BMI who you find attractive.

[pteromom]

What you have to take account is the age demographics. Even if 100% of women over 40 are overweight, it doesn't affect me at all.

 

Well... it does if you want a LTR. Because eventually she will be 40. Unless you plan on being a billionaire or famous, you aren't going to be able to keep trading her in for a younger model.

 

And I promise you - even if she takes very good care of her body, time always wins. Skin wrinkles and sags; breasts fall; stretch marks and varicose veins and age spots happen.

 

You absolutely don't have to date someone you don't find attractive. But the more you can open your mind so that someone's physical attributes aren't the number one priority, the happier you are going to be in the future.

[suladas]

Here's an example. Are you going to tell me you think she's too fat? Because if you do, you're crazy. That is to me, an example of a sexy women with a nice body. I can't say for sure, but i'd say chances are she's considered overweight on the BMI.

 

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/db/3c/78/db3c7808ddddf31c941a82f2a12657db.jpg

[PJKino]

Here's an example. Are you going to tell me you think she's too fat? Because if you do, you're crazy. That is to me, an example of a sexy women with a nice body. I can't say for sure, but i'd say chances are she's considered overweight on the BMI.

 

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/db/3c/78/db3c7808ddddf31c941a82f2a12657db.jpg

 

Shes not obese but shes also shapely which isnt always the case with large women

[xxoo]

Shes not obese but shes also shapely which isnt always the case with large women

 

Which is exactly why I'm saying every individual is different. To dismiss all women over a certain weight as unattractive is silly. Many are super hot! Way hotter than average.

[KathyM]

I don't know if 65% of women are overweight.

That's what the statistics show.

What you have to take account is the age demographics. Even if 100% of women over 40 are overweight, it doesn't affect me at all.

The 65% includes women who are 20 and up. If you want to consider only the women in the 20 to 32 age range, the percentage of overweight women will be slightly lower, but not by much. I found the percentage of men who are overweight in the 20 to 32 range as 58%. I imagine the percentage for women in that same age group is slightly lower, but not by much. In fact, I read that the 20 to 32 age range for women has the fastest growing rate of obesity than any other age range.

I'm assuming that the number of women under 30 who are overweight is around 25%. And I'm talking about very overweight. I don't care if a girl has a bit of a belly.

I couldn't find the exact statistic for this age range of women, but if you consider the percentage for men in that range is 58% overweight, likely the women will be not much lower than that. The rate of actual obesity in that age range is probably 25%. Overweight in general in that age range is more like 52%.

Though yes, there is a lot of competition for non overweight women in general.

 

So what is a guy who doesn't like bigger women supposed to do? Find a big girl who has a cute face, and put her on a diet and exercise plan? Even if that were to actually work, who's to say that she would stay with the guy when she does lose the weight and become hot?

Dating a woman with the intent to change her is not a good plan, and usually doesn't work. And there are certainly plenty of stories out there of women who have lost a lot of weight and went on to leave their boyfriend or husband after the weight loss. No, if you are not in that 20% to 30% of desired men yourself, then you need to adjust your standards to women you can attract, or be alone, or have some amazing quality that you develop that can compensate. Or move to a country where women are leaner. Otherwise, you will be competing with 100% of the men for those upper 35% of young women who are not overweight or have some other feature which men deem undesirable.

[ASG]

And yet here you are trying to convince me to date women who I consider to be far below my looks. Look at the pictures I have in my album. Am I equivalent in looks to an obese woman?

 

Also since, you'd only be attracted to 3 out of 100 men, it seems that you consider yourself to be extremely attractive.

 

I have no issues at all with you xxoo, but this whole thing of trying to get me to date obese women just isn't working. Especially when it's obvious that you won't date a man you consider to be far below your level of attractiveness.

 

 

I know you've never seen a picture of me, but I am fairly attractive. My ex was OBESE. I wasn't attracted to him at all at first. I mean... OBESE! But I got to know him, he had a very cute face and amazing eyes... and things happened.

 

So don't knock it off hand. Not saying you WILL find any obese women attractive. Maybe you won't. But maybe you will.

 

I remember when I was in high school, there was this guy in my class, a couple of years older, that I thought was really hot. Until the day he asked one of our colleagues to ask me if I'd sleep with him. I found him absolutely repulsive from then on. And I'd have slept with him, if he'd come to me and made a move! But since he decided to ask someone to ask ME, it shattered the illusion, and he went from being about an 8 to being a 2...

[KathyM]

And I'll also add that chasing women who are in their early 20s also puts you at a disadvantage, because women that age are more apt to be unrealistic about their own standards, and are expecting a man in that upper 20%. Women who are older, late 20s to early 30s, have become more realistic in who they can attract, and are normally more willing to consider a wider range of guys than when they were younger.