People who can't get a date with "anyone"?

[hasaquestion]

Alright, I gotta disagree with this one. At least at my school, it's always the men going after the girls- not the other way around. This says to me that guys struggle to find a sex partner, while the girls do not. I don't know of a single female that's had trouble finding a guy to have sex with. The male/female ratio at my school is about 50/50, too.

 

But aren't we talking about dating here? Sex is different.

 

You see, we men have a concept called "f***able" that is distinctly different from dating. Just because we'd f*** someone doesn't mean we'd enter a serious, committed dating relationship with them.

 

Women who a guy would "fall head over heels for" and want to actually date seriously are a small minority of the ones we'd have a ONS with. I can't speak for others but I'm pretty sure that's how most are wired.

 

Its Friday night, your single, you slept 2 hours preparing for a test last night, she's telling you how drunk she is, and the whole world isn't going to find out.... that girl "found a sex partner", but she isn't getting any more progress towards a dating type relationship (the subject of the thread) than guys who are sitting around at home.

[Potz4prez]

Honestly, I think some of these guys who are only attracted to media women types may have testosterone deficits. Ramp up your testosterone and you may find real women attractive, not just women molded to the image media and porn gives you, which is mostly done with digital enhancement, in case you didn't know.

.

 

Did you read through the entire thread? haha Some of these turn into little novellas

 

And the above quote is totally true. Start lifting heavy weights, stop jerking it every day, and stop watching porn, and you'll see how quickly your libido increases.

[Keenly]

If a persons end result goal is to be in a well rounded and exciting relationship with some one they connect with, does it really matter the specific words they use when describing it?

 

 

If Steve goes on 1 date in the span of two years, and KT doesn't work out, and Mary goes on 4 dates a month for a year, and none of them work out, it would seem to me the end result is the same. They are both equally alone.

 

 

This only applies if a person isn't dating to boost their ego or get some sex, and is actually looking for a relationship .

[KathyM]

If 65% of women are overweight, and another 10% to 15% of women are not attractive enough for other reasons, that leaves 20% to 25% of women who are being pursued by 100% of the men. That's a lot of competition among men for those 20% of women. Those percentages are not going to be in anyone's favor except the 20% of women. Most men realize they had better consider that other 80% of women, or they are going to be spending a lot of days and nights alone. The same can be said if the genders were reversed. 100% of women desire that top 20% of men. If they are not willing to adjust their standards to include the other 80%, then they will be spending a lot of time alone. Most people prefer to adjust their standards, rather than be alone, and learn to appreciate people for qualities other than looks alone.

[Cafe au lait]

But aren't we talking about dating here? Sex is different.

 

You see, we men have a concept called "f***able" that is distinctly different from dating. Just because we'd f*** someone doesn't mean we'd enter a serious, committed dating relationship with them.

 

Women who a guy would "fall head over heels for" and want to actually date seriously are a small minority of the ones we'd have a ONS with. I can't speak for others but I'm pretty sure that's how most are wired.

 

Its Friday night, your single, you slept 2 hours preparing for a test last night, she's telling you how drunk she is, and the whole world isn't going to find out.... that girl "found a sex partner", but she isn't getting any more progress towards a dating type relationship (the subject of the thread) than guys who are sitting around at home.

 

Yes you're right, there's a distinction between casual sex and dating. Perhaps men have it harder in the dating department simply because they are less likely about wanting to commit! Of course, I am speaking as a college student here, thus why casual sex came to mind before relationships/dating.

[clia]

That wasnt my intention or point i was just pointing out the disparity in what genders consider equal,i see women here all the time say they work out so they want a man who fits their "lifestyle" so why cant a in shape short guy want the same thing? but it appears while women are judged on build men are judged on build AND height..

 

You can "want" whatever you want. Whether or not you will get that is another story entirely. If the women you are attracted to aren't attracted to you, then you find yourself alone. At that point you have to decide whether you are going to keep pursuing women who aren't interested in you, or whether you can find a way to adjust your standards (and no, I'm not necessarily saying you have to go for an obese woman) to find a woman who also wants you.

[somedude81]

If 65% of women are overweight, and another 10% to 15% of women are not attractive enough for other reasons, that leaves 20% to 25% of women who are being pursued by 100% of the men. That's a lot of competition among men for those 20% of women. Those percentages are not going to be in anyone's favor except the 20% of women. Most men realize they had better consider that other 80% of women, or they are going to be spending a lot of days and nights alone. The same can be said if the genders were reversed. 100% of women desire that top 20% of men. If they are not willing to adjust their standards to include the other 80%, then they will be spending a lot of time alone. Most people prefer to adjust their standards, rather than be alone, and learn to appreciate people for qualities other than looks alone.

I don't know if 65% of women are overweight.

 

What you have to take account is the age demographics. Even if 100% of women over 40 are overweight, it doesn't affect me at all.

 

I'm assuming that the number of women under 30 who are overweight is around 25%. And I'm talking about very overweight. I don't care if a girl has a bit of a belly.

 

Though yes, there is a lot of competition for non overweight women in general.

 

So what is a guy who doesn't like bigger women supposed to do? Find a big girl who has a cute face, and put her on a diet and exercise plan? Even if that were to actually work, who's to say that she would stay with the guy when she does lose the weight and become hot?

[Teraskas]

Yes you're right, there's a distinction between casual sex and dating. Perhaps men have it harder in the dating department simply because they are less likely about wanting to commit! Of course, I am speaking as a college student here, thus why casual sex came to mind before relationships/dating.

 

The bolded part is hogwash imo.

There are an equal amount of women who can be placed in the same category for lacking the desire to commit.

I know because I've met plenty of those types. Conversely, there ARE guys out there who WANT to commit yet are never given a chance by women.

(And probably this is also the same for women.)

 

Not EVERY guy in college is the same, and only wants sex.

Those who (like myself) who are emotionally mature, have been through considerable hardships, know what they want from life, and those who are looking for something serious are both in short supply, and either eclipsed by the amount of douchebags women have to wade through or constantly friendzoned, despite having confidence.

As a result I often laugh when a woman utters the "Woe is me" or "Where have all the good men gone ?" lines, as she more often than not tends to generalise all men.

Another explanation would be that women are naturally more cautious when it comes to getting sex due to the increased risk of stds and unwanted pregnancies. /shrug.

[AD1980]

You can "want" whatever you want. Whether or not you will get that is another story entirely. If the women you are attracted to aren't attracted to you, then you find yourself alone. At that point you have to decide whether you are going to keep pursuing women who aren't interested in you, or whether you can find a way to adjust your standards (and no, I'm not necessarily saying you have to go for an obese woman) to find a woman who also wants you.

 

 

Im aware of the situation and id rather be alone then with a women i have zero physical attraction too

 

Thats why theyres thing called friends its people you get along with but arent atracted to

[hasaquestion]

Im aware of the situation and id rather be alone then with a women i have zero physical attraction too

 

Thats why theyres thing called friends its people you get along with but arent atracted to

 

Then why would you complain about someone else feeling the same way?

[xxoo]

So what is a guy who doesn't like bigger women supposed to do? Find a big girl who has a cute face, and put her on a diet and exercise plan? Even if that were to actually work, who's to say that she would stay with the guy when she does lose the weight and become hot?

 

THe first thing would be to stop categorizing women by their size and get to know a lot of women. No one expects you to be attracted to "bigger women", but I suspect you could be attracted to an individual woman who is big if you gave yourself the chance by actually making friends with a wide range of women and men. You may start fantasizing about that really cool "bigger" chick who is always busting on you and making raunchy jokes, and, like most of us have experienced, you'll just find yourselves making out in a car heatedly one day and true love will develop from there

[AD1980]

Then why would you complain about someone else feeling the same way?

 

Im not i was just arguing physical equivalents of course people are allowed to choose who theyre attracted to

[Keenly]

THe first thing would be to stop categorizing women by their size and get to know a lot of women. No one expects you to be attracted to "bigger women", but I suspect you could be attracted to an individual woman who is big if you gave yourself the chance by actually making friends with a wide range of women and men. You may start fantasizing about that really cool "bigger" chick who is always busting on you and making raunchy jokes, and, like most of us have experienced, you'll just find yourselves making out in a car heatedly one day and true love will develop from there

 

Yeah, I don't know. That all sounds nice and PC rainbowish but that's not reality.

[AD1980]

THe first thing would be to stop categorizing women by their size and get to know a lot of women. No one expects you to be attracted to "bigger women", but I suspect you could be attracted to an individual woman who is big if you gave yourself the chance by actually making friends with a wide range of women and men. You may start fantasizing about that really cool "bigger" chick who is always busting on you and making raunchy jokes, and, like most of us have experienced, you'll just find yourselves making out in a car heatedly one day and true love will develop from there

 

Or maybe hell find a women hes actualy physically attracted to and do the same.

[xxoo]

That wasnt my intention or point i was just pointing out the disparity in what genders consider equal,i see women here all the time say they work out so they want a man who fits their "lifestyle" so why cant a in shape short guy want the same thing? but it appears while women are judged on build men are judged on build AND height..

 

An in shape short guy can want whatever he wants. Some in shape short guys can get a completely knock-out hottie. Some can't get an even average looking women. It depends on SO many factors other than height and body shape.

 

Your limits are your limits, and only you can adjust them (by working to make yourself more attractive to the women you want). You have no control over what women want, nor should you. We all should be striving to improve ourselves and meet higher standards, not whining to have the standards lowered for us.

[xxoo]

Or maybe hell find a women hes actualy physically attracted to and do the same.

 

In the end, they are the same thing. Why limit oneself?

 

And what the heck excuse is there for NOT making friends with men and women of all sorts? That alone will make you more attractive (being a friendly, caring person).

[xxoo]

Yeah, I don't know. That all sounds nice and PC rainbowish but that's not reality.

 

I see it all the time. All the men I know in love with sort of chunky, homely women...do you think they set out to find a chunky woman? No, they fell for the cleavage, the sparkle in her eye, and her bar room humor, had a drunken make out session, etc, and the rest is history.

[AD1980]

In the end, they are the same thing. Why limit oneself?

 

And what the heck excuse is there for NOT making friends with men and women of all sorts? That alone will make you more attractive (being a friendly, caring person).

 

I agree about the friendship part even though not everyone is a social butterfly..im not an overly social person but i have a few close friends which helps alot

[R3d]

I read online that just fapping (especially to porn) will increase your testosterone levels and can do wonders in terms of "lowering standards", but more importantly, make you more, let's say "motivated" and give you "will power", which can potentially make you more attractive to women.

 

I haven't tried it yet, but I'll give it a run and see.

 

More details on nofap:

[Keenly]

I see it all the time. All the men I know in love with sort of chunky, homely women...do you think they set out to find a chunky woman? No, they fell for the cleavage, the sparkle in her eye, and her bar room humor, had a drunken make out session, etc, and the rest is history.

 

Are all the men you know in their 40s?

[Cafe au lait]

The bolded part is hogwash imo.

There are an equal amount of women who can be placed in the same category for lacking the desire to commit.

I know because I've met plenty of those types. Conversely, there ARE guys out there who WANT to commit yet are never given a chance by women.

(And probably this is also the same for women.)

 

Not EVERY guy in college is the same, and only wants sex.

Those who (like myself) who are emotionally mature, have been through considerable hardships, know what they want from life, and those who are looking for something serious are both in short supply, and either eclipsed by the amount of douchebags women have to wade through or constantly friendzoned, despite having confidence.

As a result I often laugh when a woman utters the "Woe is me" or "Where have all the good men gone ?" lines, as she more often than not tends to generalise all men.

Another explanation would be that women are naturally more cautious when it comes to getting sex due to the increased risk of stds and unwanted pregnancies. /shrug.

 

It's interesting you say that because I recently made a thread about being a female virgin in college, and the idea of me finding a serious relationship was laughed at, for the reason that "I go to a top school where people are here to study and only have time to hook up. It's what I signed up for." I got a response something along those lines, anyway. A lot of guys at my college that want to commit only do so because they want a regular source of sex.

 

My personal dilemma is that I want a serious relationship before having sex, which would mean the guy might have to wait 6 months or a year before I feel ready. Would you be willing to do that? I don't know of even ONE guy at my college that would be.

[xxoo]

Are all the men you know in their 40s?

 

All ages. Just this weekend, I met a couple like this in their 20s who are newlyweds, and so in love!

 

Don't ya'll know any "unattractive" couples well enough to see how they feel about each other?

Edited May 27, 2014 by xxoo

[somedude81]

THe first thing would be to stop categorizing women by their size and get to know a lot of women. No one expects you to be attracted to "bigger women", but I suspect you could be attracted to an individual woman who is big if you gave yourself the chance by actually making friends with a wide range of women and men.

 

You're assuming I've never done that. One of the women I've talked to the most the last semester was about 5'2 ~200 lbs. She was friendly, outgoing, and I know she liked me. I could have easily dated or at least slept with her, but I had zero physical attraction to her. I was just not into her.

 

It's not a matter of giving somebody a chance when I'm actively turned off by their body.

[xxoo]

You're assuming I've never done that. One of the women I've talked to the most the last semester was about 5'2 ~200 lbs. She was friendly, outgoing, and I know she liked me. I could have easily dated or at least slept with her, but I had zero physical attraction to her. I was just not into her.

 

It's not a matter of giving somebody a chance when I'm actively turned off by their body.

 

That's ONE person. I can get to know 100 average looking guys, and maybe grow attracted to 3.

 

And I'm not talking about giving a woman a chance. I'm talking about giving YOURSELF a chance by getting to know a heck of a lot more people on a friendly level without any intention of getting a date. Be far, far more social, and you will experience so many things you've never experienced before.

[somedude81]

Yes you're right, there's a distinction between casual sex and dating. Perhaps men have it harder in the dating department simply because they are less likely about wanting to commit! Of course, I am speaking as a college student here, thus why casual sex came to mind before relationships/dating.

I actually don't know what's easier for the average guy, to find somebody to be in a relationship with, or to find somebody to have casual sex with. I'd like to say that it's harder to find a woman to have casual sex with, but I'm really not sure.

 

Personally, I'm not interested in casual sex; I just want to be in a relationship with a girl and have lots and lots of sex with her.

 

 

A lot of guys at my college that want to commit only do so because they want a regular source of sex.

Do you believe that they only want to commit for a regular source of sex or that having a regular source of sex is a plus for a commitment.

 

Believe me, women want a regular source of sex just as much as men do.

 

 

 

My personal dilemma is that I want a serious relationship before having sex, which would mean the guy might have to wait 6 months or a year before I feel ready. Would you be willing to do that? I don't know of even ONE guy at my college that would be.

Why would you make a guy wait an arbitrary length of time before he can have sex with you?

 

Realistically speaking, it shouldn't take six months to figure out if you can trust a guy and that he's a great fit for you who wants a real relationship.