Got a job in sales...

[endlessabyss]

After I got out of my LTR, one aspect of my life I noticed I had to change is my introversion. I decided to take a job in sales to climb this mountain, and am finding it somewhat difficult.

 

I've never had that great of communication skills, average at best. I find it hard to be ebullient, and when I try to fake it, I feel awkward. I'm naturally a very calm, laid back, not intense individual. I also have a mild social anxiety, so I believe that the mild adrenaline wears on me a little too.

 

I notice a lot of my co-workers are very high energy, as well as very aggressive. My natural being is the antithesis of these attributes.

 

At the end of today, at work, I just got tired of talking. It wasn't out of annoyance, I just felt burnt out. I hope it didn't come off as I was disinterested to my co-workers.

 

Can one be successful in sales with a calm demeanor? Can one change their personality from reserved to outgoing?

[Strength in Healing]

Can one change their personality from reserved to outgoing?

 

I achieved this. Used to be incredibly shy. Then I learned to force myself to talk to people and get used to rejection if it happens. I don't take rejection personally anymore, as there is a million reasons why you could be rejected, and a lot of times it doesn't have much to do with you.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I was a shy kid, even teenager. If I was in a car I'd rather look out the window than talk to someone, I got lost in my own thoughts and dreams, enjoyed the peace and quiet, socializing with my good friends only, then was I really open/funny and relaxed but it took a lot for me to get there, I just didn't like socializing and interacting with strangers in general. Never really made a point to talk to people and just wasn't necessarily very good at being social, people thought I was a bit awkward or odd if they didn't know me because I didn't do well in social situations.

 

Then I started working, had to talk to people...did customer service oriented jobs where I had to interact and communicate with people constantly, then worked in sales as someone who had never sold a thing in my life.

 

It was very challenging at first and it was terrifying having to make a "sale" because it felt like a lot of pressure and I didn't want to just be another cheesy or douchey salesperson, and wanted to succeed of course...but I was a bit "odd" and clearly uncomfortable, I was out of my element. I got shy very easily because I wasn't the social butterfly, felt anxious, nervous, wasn't sure if I could do it at times...I wasn't good at eye-contact or appearing very confident or with much authority because this felt completely out of my area of expertise.

 

I was really hard on myself when I failed or messed up, I felt bad and I had high expectations but wasn't comfortable or sure how to be that type of person. But I pushed myself, I forced myself to deal with those uncomfortable situations time and time again and kept trying...luckily I'm an extremely determined person when I put my mind to succeeding at something and even when I get very demoralized I'll still hang on tight even when it feels like all is lost, as long as I actually want to do it and I did...I wanted to know how to be successful at something I wasn't a natural or felt very comfortable with, I didn't want to just walk away and fail.

 

Eventually I worked out my own niche, I knew I wasn't the cheesy and over-friendly/interested sales guy, but I was genuine and knew more how to build a relationship with people than I thought I did...I never became "that guy", the people who I saw that were the most successful at it, but I had my own unique way of doing things and after not long I became the top sales guy, I was nearly selling every single job...people were puzzled and wondering what was so special that I was doing, they had also underestimated me.

 

But I had to do it my own way, I had to figure it out for myself and use my own strengths to my advantage instead of trying to become like someone who I was not and I think that showed...because I wasn't fake or superficial about it, I was doing things in a way I was comfortable with and getting positive results from it...but it didn't happen overnight, there was a lot of stress, anxiety, fear and self-doubt along the way.

 

You can't change/improve who you are, you just have to be willing to challenge yourself. A lot of people like to say "Well I'm not that type of person, or I don't want to become someone I'm not"...just because you don't know something about yourself doesn't mean you don't have the ability or capability, even if you don't become the best you'd be surprised what you can accomplish if you simply push yourself. Life isn't about staying the same and living in your comfort zone, it's about challenging who you are, your own identity because that's how your grow, instead of becoming lost or trapped in fear of the unknown.

 

It's not easy, there are other things in my life that I have not accomplished out of fear, but I recognize them...but I know that If I try I will likely succeed if I'm determined but do I really want it?....and "success" shouldn't be determined by just what you accomplish in tangible terms, but what you learn about yourself in the process, you always gain knowledge and experience from everything...in may not translate into an immediate success but it help you somewhere else along the road.

 

Now if I told the people that didn't know me back then that I was shy, quiet kid, not social, didn't communicate much, wasn't bold or outspoken, wasn't very confident in myself or who I was with my identity...they wouldn't believe it, I've told people that before and they think...no, not Ninja, you're the kind of person that doesn't even care what other people think and are always yourself, you're too personable and are social...you couldn't have went from that to this.

 

I always had that side of me in me, I just wasn't comfortable in my skin at the time really, I didn't know how to be confident in who I was completely...It wasn't that I changed who I was.

[SpiralOut]

If you are naturally introverted, which it sounds like you are, I don't think you can really change that. But you can learn how to act more outgoing, improve your conversation skills, increase your level of tolerance to other people. You can make changes, but don't change so much that you never give yourself time to recharge. Introverts get their energy from being alone and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

I don't know what you do in this job exactly, but whenever I meet an overly perky sales person I get very annoyed. I prefer someone who is laid back.

[Ruby Slippers]

Congratulations on your new job! I think it's great that you've challenged yourself in a new way, and now you're obviously seeking what you need to help you scale that mountain. Always inspiring

 

I relate to Ninja's story. I was the quiet, shy, bookish kid, and NEVER imagined myself as a salesperson. But I've had to learn as much as I can about the subject to get my small start-up business off the ground. Sales is one of my main functions, and when I started out, I felt like I knew nothing about it. I learned what I could from a few masters, then found my own way.

 

I think good salesmanship is an art form, one that takes a very long time to master. You can find a lot of great books and guides about sales. A classic one that I love is How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

 

My first sales-y job was a part-time job in college, when I was calling alumni to request donations to the university. With some practice and effort, I eventually became the #1 closer. My approach was to toss the script and have real conversations with the alumni, asking them plenty of questions about themselves. Almost all of them were curious about what was happening on campus since they'd graduated, and enjoyed telling me about the path they had taken after graduation.

 

I think one of the most important sales principles that an introverted type should keep in mind is that everybody's favorite subject is himself. So if you can learn to ask the right questions and get them talking about their frustrations, hopes, dreams, that makes your work much easier. Then you can sit back and listen (introverts are the best listeners) and all you have to do is round out the conversation with the pitch, addressing all their points precisely. I consider a sales meeting successful when the prospect does 80% of the talking or more. People feel more bonded to you when they reveal themselves to you, when you listen to them, than when you tell them all about yourself.

 

Confidence is an important aspect. You have to believe in whatever you're selling. Find the aspects of the product or service that you can be genuinely excited to share, and then do it. I had to learn what is truly unique and better about my service than anyone else's, then sincerely drive that message.

 

Good luck! Let us know how it develops.