Am I attractive or just damn ugly?

[yukioandhiro]

Hi there!

 

I know it's a stupid question, but I just don't understand how people find me attractive. I mean, it's not a bad thing at all, and that's why I'm asking it, b/c if I really am I want to embrace the opportunities that I may be wasting .

I won't post a picture because the point is: why I can't see myself as an attractive girl?

 

Well, when I was a kid, people would say that I was cute. But then, on my early teens, some boys have even told me like "you're really ugly!" So I went like "okay, I'll be an ugly girl with a big brain." And that's how I really feel.

 

But when I turned 15-16 guys started noticing me, some classmates have even asked me why I didn't talk to them and stuff. And it hasn't changed since then. Guys are generally *very* kind with me. They come out of nowhere to talk to me, and I love it b/c I'm quite chatty but too shy to start a conversation.

 

And I just can't understand it. How come I am interesting/attractive?

 

I am a tomboy who talks about music all the time. I'm very skinny (flat chested) and all my shoes are about Converse, meaning that I can't walk on high heels. I'm pathetic.

 

That's it. Hope I didn't annoy you guys, but if I did - sorry!

Edited May 26, 2014 by yukioandhiro

[mtnbiker3000]

Common... Middle school can be brutal, so I wouldn't listen to what a bunch of 12 or 13 year old boys are saying. Besides, everyone is 'ugly' at that age. I'm sure you're fine. Don't worry so much...

 

And, what you'll notice is boys will start to become more and more interested in you. It's biology. So embrace it and don't think too much about it =)

[littleplanet]

Hi there!

 

I know it's a stupid question, but I just don't understand how people find me attractive. I mean, it's not a bad thing at all, and that's why I'm asking it, b/c if I really am I want to embrace the opportunities that I may be wasting .

I won't post a picture because the point is: why I can't see myself as an attractive girl?

 

Well, when I was a kid, people would say that I was cute. But then, on my early teens, some boys have even told me like "you're really ugly!" So I went like "okay, I'll be an ugly girl with a big brain." And that's how I really feel.

 

But when I turned 15-16 guys started noticing me, some classmates have even asked me why I didn't talk to them and stuff. And it hasn't changed since then. Guys are generally *very* kind with me. They come out of nowhere to talk to me, and I love it b/c I'm quite chatty but too shy to start a conversation.

 

And I just can't understand it. How come I am interesting/attractive?

 

I am a tomboy who talks about music all the time. I'm very skinny (flat chested) and all my shoes are about Converse, meaning that I can't walk on high heels. I'm pathetic.

 

That's it. Hope I didn't annoy you guys, but if I did - sorry!

 

 

Okay.

How attractive are the guys who notice you?

(assuming you can reasonably 'rate' them...)

 

If they score high on your scale, chances are you do too - on theirs.

 

Lots of guys like tomboys. The ones that like topics of conversation that go beyond the girlie....

There's a million different flavors of attractiveness.

It doesn't just take chocolate fudge (mango is nice.... )

 

Stepping outside conventions of what YOU figure is attractive - will help you feel more confident about yourself in this way.

It isn't just chests and heels............

Ultimately - it has a lot to do with chemistry that is never ever consciously designed.

 

And it's not a stupid question at all.

The more you experience attraction to you, the more confident you'll get about that side of yourself.

 

I'd just relax and enjoy it.

So go ahead and embrace....

Taste, don't waste!

[pteromom]

I won't post a picture because the point is: why I can't see myself as an attractive girl?

 

Why do you have to? Just be you. Some people will find you attractive; some won't.

 

Well, when I was a kid, people would say that I was cute. But then, on my early teens, some boys have even told me like "you're really ugly!" So I went like "okay, I'll be an ugly girl with a big brain." And that's how I really feel.

 

Agree with mtnbiker... all 12/13 year old boys are mean to girls like that. They are confused about their new hormones and all the feelings they are getting about girls, and they take it out on the girls. There is a good chance that when a boy told you you were ugly, what he REALLY meant is "I am oddly attracted to you and I am uncomfortable with it!"

 

Guys are generally *very* kind with me. They come out of nowhere to talk to me, and I love it b/c I'm quite chatty but too shy to start a conversation.

 

You are lucky then!

 

And I just can't understand it. How come I am interesting/attractive?

 

Apparently you have a look that is widely attractive. Again, you are lucky!

 

I am a tomboy who talks about music all the time. I'm very skinny (flat chested) and all my shoes are about Converse, meaning that I can't walk on high heels. I'm pathetic.

 

Why is ANY of that pathetic? That's who you are, and it is OK to be who you are. You don't have to be a Playboy model to be beautiful. You don't have to have giant breasts for guys to notice you. And you don't have to wear high heels - although if you are getting all that attention in Converse, if you ever want to blow the minds of all the men around you, try a dress and heels.

 

You aren't pathetic. Would you call an Olympic athlete pathetic? They don't typically have big breasts or wear heels, but they are strong and powerful. Not pathetic.

 

Don't call yourself pathetic. And don't try to be anyone else. Just embrace who you are, talk to the guys who are attracted to you, and don't settle for ANYONE who doesn't accept who you are. Hold out for someone who treats you wonderfully.

 

That's it. Hope I didn't annoy you guys, but if I did - sorry!

 

Don't apologize for speaking up for yourself either. If someone is annoyed, they are welcome to hang out on a different thread.

[IDK123]

I'm kind of in the same situation as you.

In Middle school/high school I was a pretty awkward/weird/ugly looking guy... I had a big nose and big eyes and nothing else on my face had matured.

Then a year after High School my face suddenly started changing it and I noticed it, and then I noticed that the way girls were treating me was changing.

I used to get the occasional glance from a girl every once in a while.

Now, whenever I'm in public I get stares from almost every girl. I overhear girls saying things like "He's hot" when passing me and looking at me. Sometimes they'll do crazy s**t like make howling noises at me or just blatantly scream at me "You're hot!"

Girls will always be overly friendly/flirty with me, or they will get extremely tense/nervous if they're shy.

 

It feels weird because I'm a very self-conscious and shy guy myself. I still feel ugly inside because I was made fun of a lot for my big nose in High School.

Girls want to get to know me a lot more than they used to, and the only thing that has changed are my aesthetics, nothing else.

 

This can only lead me to believe that women (and people) ARE shallow and that the more attractive you are the more people want to get to know you. I think it's because people assume good-looking people are more sociable and somehow have a more interesting life than their 'average-looking' counterparts. I think it's also due in part to our society's obsession with physical beauty and how physical beauty = being higher on the 'social ladder'.

[Do_The_Herp]

Feel good about yourself and take advantage, girl!

 

I was the same way, myself. Always made to feel ugly, especially with girls, when I was really young. That sort of early-developmental experience has stuck with me even in my 20s now.

 

Unlike you, I don't think that I've really grown out of the ugly duck phase. I don't ever catch women checking me out, and I don't think I'm dirty or dress any worse than the next guy. So I'm just not much to look at.

 

You sound like the kind of girl that I'd always liked. Like my childhood girl friend, actually. I'm sure you're a pretty girl, words don't mean ****. Actions speak louder than words.

[Molly01]

I understand how you feel. I have gone through the same feelings. There was a time when I thought I was very ugly and not worth a second look. I even thought about surgery and even consulted a doctor. Actually it was this Doctor who made me realize that I am not ugly as I think myself to be and that I don't need any surgery, atleast for the time being.

I am sure you will get off this confusion as well, don't worry it's all a part of growing up.

Edited September 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed commercial URL

[jay1983]

Your worrying too much about it. Hey guys find you attractive, take it and run with it.