Smilingalot Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 So I met this guy back in January. We text for a couple months then decided mid march to hang out. We hung out once maybe every week but still text all day long. A couple weeks into it he started to pull away. When I asked why he said he was starting to develop feelings and wasn't ready for that. Respecting him I gave him his space. About 6 weeks ago he met my daughter. I was a little unsure of this because my 2 kids get very attached to men they like as their dad isn't in their life's at all. He assured me it was fine and even though I was hesitant I agreed and he met both of them. Knowing how I felt and how uneasy I was. Since he's met the kids. He's been around us every day. Texts more then usual and doesn't only text but he calls and tell me what he's doing and when. When people ask of were dating he says no that we are just friends. He even invited my kids and I to hang out with him and his family this weekend. I'm confused because we suppose to be friends and yes we've slept together but the things we do isn't just what friends do. I mean he spoils my kids. And I'm asking for advice cause I don't want them hurt or myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to involve kids until a relationship has become well-defined. As you say, kids get attached quickly and if things don't work out, are at risk of disappointment, at the very least. They can also develop separation anxiety, abandonment issues, and if repeatedly exposed, come to believe that relationships are temporary. I find it a bit unsettling that a guy would put so much effort toward your children when he was admittedly reluctant to develop feelings for you. Sorry, but it's kinda creepy. My instincts could be wrong, but when it comes to the safety of children, I am overly cautious. Better safe than sorry. My advice is to take a big step back from the "family" meetings/get togethers and see how he responds to spending time with you alone. Speak up and let him know that you want him to stop spoiling your kids. If he pulls back or continues to push to spend more time with them, pay attention! You are their mother and it's up to you to demand what is best for them. I'll be honest with you. The fact that he won't admit to his friends to be dating you yet is paying so much attention to your kids, is a HUGE red flag. If it were me, he would be gone! Please trust your instincts...You know there's something "not quite right" or you wouldn't be here asking. Link to post Share on other sites
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