Is it "OK" to not date for a while after a breakup?

[Natsume21]

mountainbiker, the things expressed on loveshack and things exhibited on a first date are different things. Your imagination is running wild.

 

I don't generate much interest, and it is because I lack the physical appeal (mostly), and financial appeal, and practical appeal. And I'm not going to apologize for feeling bitter about that at times.

 

And I'm not going to be "confident" when I don't believe there is physical appeal to back that up. You know "that guy" who thinks he is awesome at ______ (fill in blank.. biking, golf, basketball) and then shows up at the competition and finishes last?

 

It is all an act if you having nothing to back it up.

 

 

 

Now, relating to my relationship, what I was able to offer (among other things) was emotional support, and attention. This was real, and I know it. I can't even put into words the amount of myself I gave to this person in a difficult time. That is the source of my bitterness about this, not other things I was referring to to give context to my feelings.

 

 

Yeah, that guy was my cousin. He was TERRIBLE at baseball but he was so confident and warm that people flocked to him.

 

The issue you got man is that you're so wrapped up in this shallow, immature person's view of the world that you failed to realize that those who share her view AREN'T WORTH YOUR TIME. You shouldn't have to conform to this certain world view if it doesn't make you happy.

 

I used to think like you. But that was because my ex's family were very stuck up. It took me asking people from her town and I got the same answer: most of them were very well-off stuck up people who didn't like poor people, period. That's what made me realize I dodged a HUGE bullet.

 

Get your head out of your ass and stop chasing shallow people.

 

If you got your ex, you can get another woman.

[KaliLove]

I believe Jennifer Lopez, Tori Spelling, and about 75 percent of Hollywood would have to disagree with you.

 

Oh did I forget KATIE HOLMES AND TOM CRUISE?

 

All failed marriages or people with a series of failed relationships, and these are beautiful people.

 

Beauty and riches doesn't make you more successful with relationships. It may give you more opportunity to have said relationships, but that itself doesn't equal success.

 

You wanna know what women like? Confidence. Many of them don't care about money. And stop with the me, me, me bullcrap. I got no money and I live in a redneck town. My practically ONLY dating options are online dating and it TANKS. But I'm doing decent with women cause I make them feel good.

 

Try doing that. It might get you somewhere.

 

Since when is Tori Spelling a perfect specimen??? Yikes...

[Elle1975]

So... as I told Kali.. I am going to a Meet Up tonight.. xmen.. and I'm not against meeting someone.

 

And Tori Spelling? Yeeks..

[Natsume21]

Since when is Tori Spelling a perfect specimen??? Yikes...

 

Well, she DID say that her husband was a changed man and would NEVER cheat on her even when he did WITH her...

 

Oh what a tangled web we weave.

[xboyfriend]

Wow.

 

@ xboyfriend. Dude, you're an *******.

 

If I were a woman, I wouldn't come within 100 yards of you. Your bitterness and anger shows so much that you even manage to piss off total strangers in a forum.

 

At least you're good at something, right?

 

How about 100 meters? You know, it wasn't me who compared a gender to an animal in this thread. Of course, it's OK if a woman says it, right?

 

How would you feel if your girlfriend told you that you weren't potty-trained correctly and that it would help you to learn like a four-year old, aiming for a cheerio in the center of the toilet? Would that make you angry?

 

You're absolutely right that I am angry about my relationship. I also miss it. As such, I'm not going to date for a while, most likely.

Edited May 27, 2014 by xboyfriend

[Natsume21]

How about 100 meters? You know, it wasn't me who compared a gender to an animal in this thread. Of course, it's OK if a woman says it, right?

 

How would you feel if your girlfriend told you that you weren't potty-trained correctly and that it would help you to learn like a four-year old, aiming for a cheerio in the center of the toilet? Would that make you angry?

 

You're absolutely right that I am angry about my relationship. I also miss it. As such, I'm not going to date for a while, most likely.

 

You had a girlfriend tell you that?

 

No wonder your self-esteem is in the toilet.

 

Just saying, she was a s h i t t y girlfriend.

[Greeneyegemini]

Personally, thinking about going out with other guys makes me want to pull a Linda Blair. But I guess that's because I just got dumped last Monday and I'm still in the beginning stages of this stuff. I wish I could fast forward a couple months and get rid of this constant sinking feeling that I have. Gahhhh

[Phoe]

I personally think it's more than OK, I'd recommend it.

 

I don't think people should date at all while recovering from a breakup. Rebound dating will only serve to hurt the other person. Getting over a breakup should be done while SINGLE.

 

 

I always am very alarmed by the people I know who monkey-bar from person to person with no single time. It's not healthy at all.

 

 

I have spent most of my life being single, and that is probably a good thing. Alternately, I see too often the pain caused to both parties when someone refuses to ever have a good extended period of singleness.

[KaliLove]

Well..did you pee all over her floor? If you did, I don't blame her for saying that you need to work on your aim...that's just gross.

 

For the last time, I didn't compare a gender to an animal. I used a very common expression that conveys neediness, which is an unattractive quality in a partner, male or female. Good heavens, get over it! Are you really that literal? Because that might have something to do with why you can't get dates. Women don't like men who don't understand simple and obvious expressions, and who are completely humorless.

 

Would you feel better if I said followed her around like a guy who follows people around instead of like a puppy? Would that make you feel better? It sounds pretty stupid but whatever floats your boat.

 

You really seem to have a lot of contempt for women. You might want to work on that before you start dating again. Or just date men. Either way.

Edited May 28, 2014 by KaliLove

[xboyfriend]

Well..did you pee all over her floor? If you did, I don't blame her for saying that you need to work on your aim...that's just gross.

 

For the last time, I didn't compare a gender to an animal. I used a very common expression that conveys neediness, which is an unattractive quality in a partner, male or female. Good heavens, get over it! Are you really that literal? Because that might have something to do with why you can't get dates. Women don't like men who don't understand simple and obvious expressions, and who are completely humorless.

 

Would you feel better if I said followed her around like a guy who follows people around instead of like a puppy? Would that make you feel better? It sounds pretty stupid but whatever floats your boat.

 

You really seem to have a lot of contempt for women. You might want to work on that before you start dating again. Or just date men. Either way.

 

No, I didn't "pee all over her floor."

 

You have made a bunch of assumptions, and are quite rude.

 

You compared men to puppies, and that is degrading, and isn't OK. That is inflammatory. Doesn't matter if "everyone says it."

[William]

Well, I see one previously banned member worked their magic in this thread, along with a number of other obvious problems. We'll clean this up in the morning. Night, night.