Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 It's mostly just tough **** for you if you have a bad attitude because it's repelling women. And also for anyone who actually does agree to go on a date with you. But lucky for them, they only have to deal with your bad attitude for the length of time it takes them to slurp down their drinks and have the valet pull their car around. This is just rude. Dude..it's not easy for ANYONE to meet someone.. This is not true. For example, a female in the top 10% of looks can have most anyone she wants. Thing is, she knows this and is very picky. However, it is not hard for this type of individual to meet someone. It's only hard if she makes it hard on herself. For other people, it is very hard. Anyway, I originally responded to a poster saying something was "BS" when I was explaining that I only find "special" potential partners every 2-3 years. Oh well, it is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Suppose you start dating a nice girl and she starts having deep feelings for you and you still have your past relationship hanging over your head and still haven't shaken it. Two things happen. First the nice girl you meet gets the shaft because your not fully into the new relationship and she gets the short end of it. Second. Your hurting yourself and won't be a happy guy until you get rid of the excess baggage. My advice. If your still hung up on your old girlfriend, then wait until you get it out of your mind and heart. Once your free and clear of the old feelings, then go out and find another girl. It's not a big deal to be single and no girlfriend. After my first wife and I got divorced I waited for almost two years until I got the bitterness and anger out of my system. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 This is just rude. This is not true. For example, a female in the top 10% of looks can have most anyone she wants. Thing is, she knows this and is very picky. However, it is not hard for this type of individual to meet someone. It's only hard if she makes it hard on herself. For other people, it is very hard. Anyway, I originally responded to a poster saying something was "BS" when I was explaining that I only find "special" potential partners every 2-3 years. Oh well, it is what it is. No, a female in the top 10% of looks can SLEEP WITH almost anyone she wants. It's completely different to connect with someone and to want to be in a relationship with them. It's hard for EVERYBODY to meet someone and fall in love with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Anyway, I originally responded to a poster saying something was "BS" when I was explaining that I only find "special" potential partners every 2-3 years. Oh well, it is what it is. What I said was, the the whole 'alpha male' thing was BS. And it is!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Ok people, let's not pretend that the more-perfect human specimens don't have an easier time, and/or have more "wiggle-room" in relationships. Fact is, the more appealing you are, the greater percentage of the opposite-sex population you have access to. And yes, for relationships, as well as casual encounters. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Have you ever been a woman in the top 10% of looks? No? Then you don't know how easy or hard it is for them to meet and connect with someone. Actually, men tend to find women that beautiful more intimidating then they do appealing. Or they act like little puppy dogs and the women get bored with them quickly. Or the men get so cocky because they know they can pick up a gorgeous woman that they cheat on her. There are a multitude of things than can go wrong with any relationship. Let's not pretend that beautiful people aren't people too. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I'm assuming you're quite young. Early to mid twenties?? Look, everybody has their moment in the sun. A person who might be hot in high school, could slide big time in their twenties (I know several). Someone who is hot in their twenties might get fat in their thirties (my ex, LOL!!). Point is beauty fades. And lucky for us dudes, many women don't really put too much stock in physical appearance or status. Surely, your ex did. She's a loser. Look deeper. In yourself and others. You might be surprised... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Or they act like little puppy dogs and the women get bored with them quickly. Now see, this is just condescending to men. What would be better than a "puppy dog"??? A grizzly bear? A T-rex? A preying mantis? (oh wait, female preying mantii eat the men for supper after acts of coitus). Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 I'm assuming you're quite young. Early to mid twenties?? Look, everybody has their moment in the sun. A person who might be hot in high school, could slide big time in their twenties (I know several). Someone who is hot in their twenties might get fat in their thirties (my ex, LOL!!). Point is beauty fades. And lucky for us dudes, many women don't really put too much stock in physical appearance or status. Surely, your ex did. She's a loser. Look deeper. In yourself and others. You might be surprised... First off, I'm late-twenties. Regarding bolded text: actually, you should browse match.com's female profiles... there is a space where you specify desired height in a mate... just browse... there is a correlation with attractiveness of females and the taller the minimum-height male. And you know what? Fine, I'm not gonna fight it. It is what it is. This is part of the reason that I only find "special" matches every few years. As for my ex, she didn't care about that, and that was nice. That had nothing to do with the breakup. Yeah, you can convince me otherwise.. but no, it didn't, and I would know... She might be a loser (she even says so herself), but I liked her in spite of her shortcomings. I was able to see deeper. But regarding the "status": women DO put stock in that. At least some/most women I know. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 First off, I'm late-twenties. Honestly, you don't act like it with your 'poor me' attitude. Get over it!! there is a correlation with attractiveness of females and the taller the minimum-height male. And you know what? Fine, I'm not gonna fight it. It is what it is. Total BS!! I've spent plenty of time on Match. I think you may have created some faux-facts that exist in your mind only. I've met and dated plenty of very attractive girls who don't give a shyte about height. And there are plenty of cute, very cute, shorter girls (4'11 - 5'4") who want a shorter guy for various reasons. One of the hottest girls I was ever with was only 5'1" and wanted nothing to do with taller guys (5'10"+). Maybe it's because I was confident and didn't act like I was hung up on not being 6'. When it bothers you so much, it will definitely bother women around you too. She might be a loser (she even says so herself), but I liked her in spite of her shortcomings. I was able to see deeper. Deeper, into what?? She admitted there wasn't much holding her to you. What were you looking deeper into? Again, something you created in your mind?? But regarding the "status": women DO put stock in that. At least some/most women I know. Again, these are the wrong type of women. But, as I mentioned, you seem hell bent on living this life you have created for yourself. Sucks for you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 mountainbiker, the things expressed on loveshack and things exhibited on a first date are different things. Your imagination is running wild. I don't generate much interest, and it is because I lack the physical appeal (mostly), and financial appeal, and practical appeal. And I'm not going to apologize for feeling bitter about that at times. And I'm not going to be "confident" when I don't believe there is physical appeal to back that up. You know "that guy" who thinks he is awesome at ______ (fill in blank.. biking, golf, basketball) and then shows up at the competition and finishes last? It is all an act if you having nothing to back it up. Now, relating to my relationship, what I was able to offer (among other things) was emotional support, and attention. This was real, and I know it. I can't even put into words the amount of myself I gave to this person in a difficult time. That is the source of my bitterness about this, not other things I was referring to to give context to my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) I don't generate much interest, and it is because I lack the physical appeal (mostly), and financial appeal, and practical appeal. And I'm not going to apologize for feeling bitter about that at times. And I'm not going to be "confident" when I don't believe there is physical appeal to back that up. You know "that guy" who thinks he is awesome at ______ (fill in blank.. biking, golf, basketball) and then shows up at the competition and finishes last? It is all an act if you having nothing to back it up. Man, you've got one f*cked-up outlook on life. I thought others were being rude when saying get used to being alone and sexless, but sounds like that's exactly where you are headed... Now, relating to my relationship, what I was able to offer (among other things) was emotional support, and attention. This was real, and I know it. I can't even put into words the amount of myself I gave to this person in a difficult time. FYI - This is not caring about someone. This is care-taking and a quick way to lose respect and ultimately your partner. Do you know the difference? This is what I mean when I suggest you take some time to learn about yourself and your behaviors. You might just start to enjoy life a bit... But, I'm guessing you're not really in a 'help yourself' state of mind at the moment! Edited May 27, 2014 by mtnbiker3000 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 FYI - This is not caring about someone. This is care-taking and a quick way to lose respect and ultimately your partner. Do you know the difference? Apparently not. Please educate me (b/c I honestly don't have any idea about this statement). Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Apparently not. Please educate me (b/c I honestly don't have any idea about this statement). Caretaking involves using 'covert contracts' to get your needs met. Also you give to get. You have expectations. And when your partner falls short of upholding their end of the contract (which they don't even know about and can't possibly do), they are punished by you. Mind you, this is all going on subconsciously on your part. It all stems from codependency and low self esteem. There is a lot more to this than I can explain but that is the basic idea Some reading for you: Caretaking: Codependency: Caretaking vs. Caregiving | Expressive Counseling Covert Contracts: The Covert Contracts That Exist In Relationships Dr Glover: No More Mr. Nice Guy | A Plan for Love, Sex, Dating & Career Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Caretaking involves using 'covert contracts' to get your needs met. Also you give to get. You have expectations. And when your partner falls short of upholding their end of the contract (which they don't even know about and can't possibly do), they are punished by you. Mind you, this is all going on subconsciously on your part. It all stems from codependency and low self esteem. There is a lot more to this than I can explain but that is the basic idea Some reading for you: Caretaking: Codependency: Caretaking vs. Caregiving | Expressive Counseling Covert Contracts: The Covert Contracts That Exist In Relationships Dr Glover: No More Mr. Nice Guy | A Plan for Love, Sex, Dating & Career So you're saying you shouldn't be supportive with a new girlfriend? You shouldn't answer all her texts about a terminally-ill family member? You shoulnd't go to the funeral. You shouldn't bring flowers? If you are positing that I was care-taking and not caring, then what the hell would be caring? Sorry dude... you are wrong... I made myself available in a supportive way, and exceeded any expectations, because I want to be supportive. My high school's motto was "men and women for others." I try to live that. I didn't do any of that because I wanted it in return. I did it becuase it is the only "good" and "right" and "christian" thing to do. And yeah, you treat others how you want to be treated. So don't remotely psychoanalyze what I was and wasn't doing and why. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Now see, this is just condescending to men. What would be better than a "puppy dog"??? A grizzly bear? A T-rex? A preying mantis? (oh wait, female preying mantii eat the men for supper after acts of coitus). Actually it's more condescending to puppy dogs. Women can be puppy dogs too. Nobody wants someone who obsesses over them, follows them around, slobbers all over them, and says yes to everything. Most people like partners who think for themselves. You are incredibly sensitive. Either that or you're just here looking to fight with people. Either way..get over it. It's lame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 You are incredibly sensitive. Either that or you're just here looking to fight with people. Either way..get over it. It's lame. You have 1166 posts telling people to get over their exes. Maybe you've said they deserve better. Funny thing is that two exes could post their side of the story here, and get affirmation that they are better than the ex and deserve better. It's just parroted advice. That's lame. Wait, were you the one who got a date from a delivery restaurant? Or was that someone else? I think anyone on this site hasn't "gotten over" anything, else they wouldn't be here. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 No psychoanalyzation needed. Go back and read this whole thread again. You've got some real codependency and self-esteem issues. It's pretty transparent. But whatever. I've tried to help you. Offer you advice. Help you see some value in yourself. A complete stranger. Now I'm done... Good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Yeah, you directed me to dot-com sites which prey on people like myself just as much as "get you ex back" guides. And no dude, you have no idea what or why I did anything. I actually read your links, and the first one sure as hell doesn't apply to my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 You've read all of my posts? You have a lot of time on your hands and quite the obsession with me. I haven't even read all of my posts... Yup, that was me. He is a co-owner of my favorite Italian restaurant but he's a weirdo and I'm not seeing him anymore. And your point is? I've been dating quite a bit (now that I'm over my ex and ready for it). In case you haven't noticed, this site is not just for break ups. Plus I've talked to a lot of people I quite like here (and a few I don't..obviously..), and it's something to do when I'm bored. I clearly meant get over the intense and off-putting sensitivity. Not everything everyone says to you is an insult. I'm well aware that it takes more than a few days and a few well chosen words to get over an ex. You're obviously here just to pick fights with people and take your anger out on total strangers. I'm sorry you don't feel good about yourself and I'm sorry for making you cry. Good luck with your Napoleon complex. Have a nice life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xboyfriend Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 You're obviously here just to pick fights with people and take your anger out on total strangers. I'm sorry you don't feel good about yourself and I'm sorry for making you cry. Good luck with your Napoleon complex. Have a nice life. Are you serious? Who are you, like existentially? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Are you serious? Who are you, like existentially? I am someone who's laughing at you for asking that question. I'm out. Have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Breadimus Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 You are obviously hurt, and I empathise with that. Stay away from The Red Pill mysoginy rants and focus on improving yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) The Red Pill mysoginy rants ??? I don't get it... **Update** K. figured it out. LOL!!! Edited May 27, 2014 by mtnbiker3000 Link to post Share on other sites
Natsume21 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Ok people, let's not pretend that the more-perfect human specimens don't have an easier time, and/or have more "wiggle-room" in relationships. Fact is, the more appealing you are, the greater percentage of the opposite-sex population you have access to. And yes, for relationships, as well as casual encounters. I believe Jennifer Lopez, Tori Spelling, and about 75 percent of Hollywood would have to disagree with you. Oh did I forget KATIE HOLMES AND TOM CRUISE? All failed marriages or people with a series of failed relationships, and these are beautiful people. Beauty and riches doesn't make you more successful with relationships. It may give you more opportunity to have said relationships, but that itself doesn't equal success. You wanna know what women like? Confidence. Many of them don't care about money. And stop with the me, me, me bullcrap. I got no money and I live in a redneck town. My practically ONLY dating options are online dating and it TANKS. But I'm doing decent with women cause I make them feel good. Try doing that. It might get you somewhere. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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