*Creepy Alert*: Making Love Films in Head?

[DeluxeYou]

Quite embarrassing habit and talking about it for the first time:

 

Since my childhood, every single time I fall in love, I start to make movies in my head. In my movies, I’m generally with the person I’m in love with. We’re married and we’re in own beautiful home. We’re doing well financially, we have great jobs and luxurious cars. Most of the time, we’re with friends/family who like/admire our relationship, and we show our love for each other. These people generally flatter us/ envy us for our relationship.

 

I make the movies in the form of different situations in which there are dialogues between those who are there, but it all boils down to…whatever I do/say or whatever my “husband” does/say points towards our smartness and happiness, even when there are problems.

 

I started doing this at a very early age (around 10 years), the 1rst time I “really” fell in love.

 

Since then this fantasizing has made breakups more painful coz they continue even after it's obvious there will be no relationship. In this case, the scenarios change and portray me as the good one, which the loser will realize in the future…lol

 

I’m not even sure why I’m talking about all this. May be I should see a psychiatrist. This is the first time I’m talking about it. Putting words on it is giving me another perspective of the whole thing.

 

A lil bit of background on me: I was raised by a single parent and the age gap between my siblings and me is so big that I used to play all alone. I also talk alone a lot. Like real dialogs. I play roles ALL THE TIME and in ALL SITUATIONS. I do it in my head when there are other people around.

 

I must say that 90% of the time my love feelings are one way and undeclared. Sometimes this makes me build big expectations even before getting close to the person himself.

 

Does this happen to someone else? To what extent? And what impact does it have on your relationships? Is there a cure for it?

 

Currently I’m falling in love with someone and this strange habit has already taken me (again) to the futureland full of bliss….ugh I don't want to build extravagant expectations and be disappointed later. I don't even want to do this anymore...

 

Needless to say...throughout my life I've tried several things to leave this habit, like thinking about other things...etc but to no avail.

[Potz4prez]

I do the same thing... A side effect of creativity I suppose. Sometimes it plays out like in 500 Days of Summer:

 

 

It really is a bother in relationships, because I always dream up expectations that no real girl will ever meet.

 

However it can also be good... like when I imagine something hilarious and it cheers me up. Be thankful for it... not everyone is able to create so easily.

 

When it comes to relationships, just do your best to separate your creative expectations from real life. Acknowledge them, then store them away somewhere where they won't get in the way of you being happy in real life.

[DeluxeYou]

Thanks for sharing! The video is so funny but realistic....

And I'm happy to know someone else does this

[Targetlock]

you're not the only one, i always get carried away imagining what might happen and who with getting lost in silly daydreams, problem with an overactive imagination who is a hopeless romantic.

[todreaminblue]

The lead singer in u2 wrote lyrics of a love he had ...poets write poetry of unrequited love.........i am a poet....and the way i can turn feelings and get them out of my head when they are not really feasible is to write them...how do you think writers write?????........they write what they daydream, imagine or know about......love stories are actually big business.......i want to know what is in steven spielbergs head, or oliver stone.....how they see what they see.....

 

 

 

happy endings...the world needs more happy endings....... artists often arent known until they die because they hide their stories and instead produce art that has the stories embedded but obscured and then able to be open to interpretation...start writing........dont be ashamed of what you write you dont have to show anyone.........if people could read half of what i write i would most likely want to die....or i would definitely disappear........what i write are extremely intimate thoughts and feelings i never express or could express in person ...i am much too shy and guarded...writing is my outlet.one of them.....online another........dont be ashamed of what you dream or write or put into art...because it is that ....it is your soul in words dialogue and clips...all the angst confusion and hopes all rolled into one......let it be free........write on artisan.....deb......

[TigerLilly78]

Your not alone I've done this many times my entre life scenes playing in your head of how things would be with some one you care about. As others say I think its a by product of a creative imagination. But unlike you I enjoy these day dreams always have only bad side is can be hard for reality to live up to them some times but sometimes not..So your fine you don't need any "help" for this unless you truly feel its becoming a upsetting issue for you but if your only worry is that its not normal then no worries your good..

[ThaWholigan]

Dude, I've been doing this since I was 5

[Raena]

I'm finding that it's not as uncommon as you think to have dialogues with yourself, pretending to be each person in the conversation or to daydream about the perfect relationship/life. It is definitely a byproduct of being creative and certainly has to do with basically being an only child.

 

As long as you don't get caught talking to yourself, then no one need know

 

But... it does make it difficult to have real relationships because they never quite stand up to the romance novel in your head do they... I get it, I do the same thing.

[ayala]

I think everyone does this every now at then.

 

We like to focus on what could-be and fantasize a perfect life with the other person.

 

There's a difference between fantasizing a future and actively trying to make it happen. Fantasizing, it's all within your mental control. Actively trying to make it happen is trying to alter reality. You just can't do it. You can't control the other person, just yourself.

 

But it's nice to dream.

[DeluxeYou]

Thanks y'all! I'm so incredibly relieved! How about the talking alone?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Heh I used to do that. I also play movies of other totally crazy scenarios in my head, like what would be my acceptance speech if I won a nobel prize

[amaysngrace]

I had an imaginary friend when I was little.

 

But now I'm my own best friend. I don't really see that as a problem since I spend 100% of my time with this person.

 

I try not to talk to myself in public too often though but sometimes i just can't stop thinking and finally have alone time so I will say a word or two out loud. If I get busted I smile at the person and sometimes I get a frightened look and other times they will smile back.

 

Okay...TMI about me now :laugh:

[Potz4prez]

Thanks y'all! I'm so incredibly relieved! How about the talking alone?

 

And sometimes in public haha. Somethings just have to be let out

[Targetlock]

Yep do that too, sometimes its easier to get through the thinking process by talking it through out loud, the odd thing is usually with two voices and one talks to me in third person, yep i know weird.

[todreaminblue]

Yep do that too, sometimes its easier to get through the thinking process by talking it through out loud, the odd thing is usually with two voices and one talks to me in third person, yep i know weird.

 

no its not weird its perfectly understandable....tome......every little bit of me understands the third person ....multiple personalities get bored in silence shoved in a back room of your psyche they need to speak.....smilin......kidding.....not really kidding.....it could be possible......deb

[ASG]

Hmmm... I thought EVERYONE did that, so it never phased me that sometimes I lay awake in bed making up stories in my head about how happy I'm gonna be with the person I like, or whatever!

 

I also do the opposite, which is make up movies in my mind of the worst case scenario situations, also with the person I like.

[littleplanet]

What's normal, exactly?

(often enough - whatever is working for ya!)

 

Fantasizing and daydreaming in your head can create a sort of traffic jam between you and reality, I suppose....

but nothing requires you to be absolutely scientifically precise and correct (whatever that is.)

 

There's the creative side (a healthy imagination) - anticipation, looking forward to something good.

There's also the shooting yourself in the foot thing by having expectations that are impossible to attain.

 

Talking to oneself can cause one to blunder into a fascinating conversationalist......both inside the same head. Lotsa fun.

 

After all, it is nothing more than 'social conventions' that create the endless rules around what we're 'supposed' to be doing.

 

I did none of this with my first love affair...........none of it at all - until we became engaged. Then the roof blew off (understandably, I was pretty young and pretty excited.)

But that was just a learning curve. A few years later it calmed down into something that didn't get in the way of where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to achieve.

 

I think our own healthy intuitions teach as lot about what to do with this stuff.

 

Inner movies can be fun!

Inner soundtracks? (don't get me started.) I've been a musician for 4 decades......and ever since I was 3, I've had a constant stream playing in the background. Every waking second of every day. And I know I dream tunes, too.

Ability to (non-musically) focus?

It never affected that. Why?

Probably figured out at 3 and a half that it was a good idea to keep it in perspective.....I dunno......too far back to remember.

 

If it puts a smile on your face, it's worth something!

Edited May 28, 2014 by littleplanet