Will guilt catch up to me?

[WasOtherWoman]

First off, be careful believing what you read on internet forums. New poster with a magical affair marriage story just dropping on your thread out of no where seems suspicious. Why would a person so happy in their affair marriage be reading the OW/OM board on an infidelity board "for years" without posting, but drop such a "best case scenario" where everyone gets over it and skips merrily down the yellow brick road on your thread? Sounds like OW wishful thinking trying to give you encouragement to me.

 

I'm not saying I know it's not true, just suggesting you exercise discretion when reading on forums and letting potentially fake stories move you emotionally. In the real world, affair relationships that become affair marriages are highly unlikely and those that make it are tenuous at best. In the real world, families are destroyed and do often disown the affair partners but they rarely reconcile. In REAL LIFE I've never seen a happy affair based marriage. I know there are supposedly a couple here on loveshack that also stick around supposedly to "encourage others" and that many claim to have met some in real life themselves but it's tough to tell unless you spend time with them in real life talking about their relationship. Mostly I'm of the opinion they fake it. Fantasy affair becomes fantasy marriage but not in a good way. After the cost of destroying families it's impossible to act like the choices weren't worth it…so often times they continue the charade numbly for appearances sake. Granted, I mostly deal with marriages that are in trouble, but I've never been able to help an affair based marriage repair and overcome any trouble they have come to me with. In general, either one or both partners seem incapable of true intimacy, working on themselves or their relationships and of being or becoming even remotely decent marital partners.

 

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You will probably be surprised by this, but I actually agree with you. You will never hear me encourage someone to begin or stay in an affair. For the vast majority, they end badly for everyone involved.

 

I will also say that I believe there are two reasons that my affair ended differently than some of the others: 1) the marriage was over, on both the part of my husband and his then wife, long before I came along and 2) my husband knew that if he wanted a future with me he needed to make it happen.

 

Otherwise, I'd not have touched that situation with a ten foot pole.

[Bluegrass]

I'm not faking it, my story is absolutely true. Its a really short watered down version though. First off, why would I be on here? I haven't for the last couple of years, just thought about it when i referred a friend to this site, then started reading the last few days. It was definitely not fairytale with everyone skipping down yellow brick road. As I said our kids are now in our lives, not all of our family members. Some have not forgave us. But our kids are most important and I'm positive they have never forgave, they just wanted to move on. I agree probably sounds like BS but it's not. Just offering my two cents and the real guilt I still feel after all these years. It can happen people can end up happy, not perfect but happy. Is not fantasy you don't know me so don't assume everyone's full of it.

[Darth Vader]

Do you WANT to feel guilt?

 

Do you WANT the situation to change, to fix your marriage?

 

Or do you WANT the situation to remain exactly as it it is right now?

 

If I had to guess...you want to continue on with the affair, and you've either given no thought to the damage you're doing to your marriage/your husband.....or you have thought about it and you simply don't care enough to feel guilty about it.

 

If you WANT to feel guilty about it...start spending some real time considering what this is going to do to your husband when it all comes out. What it'll do to his wife...how the kids are going to feel.

 

If you don't want to change...just keep avoiding the concept until it happens on its own.

 

 

If you want to feel guilt, TELL your husband the TRUTH about you Riding your OM! You'll get one Hell of a shock of guilt when you see the hurt you caused your husband and family by cheating on them!

 

What a piece of work!