weallfalldown Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Hi all, not been on here for a while. Basically I've been seeing this woman for around four months. When we first met she was honest and told me she'd been an escort in her twenties which was over 10 years ago, and said she'd never done it since. It's caused row after row, mainly from me as I find it a bit much. She also has 3 kids and an ex husband in the background which I find irritating, I do have feelings for her, but her past always bugs me and I find myself talking to her in a disrespectful manner sometimes which obviously hurts her. Am I being petty?, should I cut my losses and do one?,or sort my head out and stick to it?,,, what would you do? Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Enormously petty. Who are you to question what someone use to do? I would be impressed if my girl used to be an escort I would expect her to be controlling which is just how I like my women, and I bet you are never caught up for conversation because she is use to conversation. These are your insecurities and it has nothing to do with her past, it either ranges from you feeling inadequate over other men that use to take her out or that you do not trust her. Even so if she has been through hell with an ex partner the last thing she needs is another idiot taking advantage. Learn to live and let go and when it is not even your past learn and grow up and treat someone like they deserve to be treated as we all make mistakes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leeway Harris Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 If you can't get over it, you should probably break up. You have to let her find someone who can accept her, and for yourself, you have to be free to find someone with an amount of baggage you can handle. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author weallfalldown Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 Easy for you to say dallers have you dated an ex whore?.. No I doubt it. You sound too self righteous for your own good 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 (edited) Easy for you to say dallers have you dated an ex whore?.. No I doubt it. You sound too self righteous for your own good If you have such a poor view of her, why are you with her? Just because you have such a negative reaction to her past, and just because you can't get past your own issues with it, it DOES NOT give you the right to disrespect and belittle her. You either accept and deal with it or you leave her and find someone that fits your moral pyramid. There is no in between. All the ridiculing and belittling WILL NOT change her past. It will not make her your ideal partner. You either shut up and shytt or get off the pot. Edited May 26, 2014 by Zahara 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author weallfalldown Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 Well she's a good **** why do you think?? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Well she's a good **** why do you think?? That's how you view her but you have "feelings" for her? So use her as a good **** and quit complaining. You have a sick perception of what "feelings" are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Easy for you to say dallers have you dated an ex whore?.. You are obviously looking down on her, let her go, she deserves someone capable of looking past that. I happen to know someone who married an ex escort. He never called her a whore, and anyone that would have dared to call her that would have had to leave town. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 If you cant let her past go, you need to let her go instead, I am not surprised you are finding it hard to deal with , most decent men would.What is not decent of you however , is to treat her in a way that is less than the way in which you would treat another woman.She was honest with you, she risked having you walk, to tell you what she did because she respects you.You need to respect her back.Hookers and ex hookers have enough disrespect thrown their way to last a couple of life times......spat on even......by supposed decent guys.......hooking isnt glamorous if you look beyond th eclothes and the money......it is actually quite stuffed up I speak from experience in saying i always tell prospective partners .....i would rather they walk away in the beginning than have them find out later on.Lying is pointless and wrong.I will do the right thing,I expect the same respect back...... and one thing that would make me walk away is if the guy began to treat less like a woman he respected and more like a hooker he walked passed in the street........if you can not handle her past to be a decent person you need to walk away only you know what you think and feel when you think of her past......if they are ugly thoughts...you need to walk ....because they will come out unintentionally and they seem to be doing just that now .........The other poster is right she has paid her dues in being disrespected and people change what they do and how the think and feel constantly...she is no different.......let her lead a different life with her honesty and respect in tact and find a guy who loves her in spite of her past and all that she is now, not what she was or did in a probable dark and lonely place in her life...trust me.......that place is often dark and lonely so leave it alone or walk it out and leave her to just be who she is now...........best wishes.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Well she's a good **** why do you think?? you now have entered sucksville....im out.......deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author weallfalldown Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 I try not to bring it up but it just rears itself occasionally Yea I have feelings for her, but nothing major. I do actually treat her very well it's just when things get heated it re appears, yea perhaps I should leave it for some other mug to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 I try not to bring it up but it just rears itself occasionally Yea I have feelings for her, but nothing major. I do actually treat her very well it's just when things get heated it re appears, yea perhaps I should leave it for some other mug to deal with. they arent mugs they are called johns and yes you are acting like one one.......the last thing she needs is another john ...you are no better than john........deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 She also has 3 kids and an ex husband in the background which I find irritating, I do have feelings for her, but her past always bugs me and I find myself talking to her in a disrespectful manner sometimes which obviously hurts her. Am I being petty?, should I cut my losses and do one?,or sort my head out and stick to it?,,, what would you do? Cheers You stated several negatives which bother you. None of this will go away. The worst part is you are taking your anger out on her for no reason. My advice, for both of your sanity, end the relationship. It's not gonna get any better for you, unless you experience amnesia. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Hi all, not been on here for a while. Basically I've been seeing this woman for around four months. When we first met she was honest and told me she'd been an escort in her twenties which was over 10 years ago, and said she'd never done it since. It's caused row after row, mainly from me as I find it a bit much. She also has 3 kids and an ex husband in the background which I find irritating, I do have feelings for her, but her past always bugs me and I find myself talking to her in a disrespectful manner sometimes which obviously hurts her. Am I being petty?, should I cut my losses and do one?,or sort my head out and stick to it?,,, what would you do? Cheers You have two reasonable choices: (1) Figure out how to work through it in a respectful way and stay, or (2) Realize that you won't be able to deal with it and leave. To "choose" to stay and then treat her badly is not just "petty." I would consider you much worse than "petty" for doing that. Well she's a good **** why do you think?? ...and there it is. My recommendation is that you leave - I don't think you have what it takes to stay in any kind of a respectful, adult relationship with this woman, and you are only destined to have a dysfunctional one. Do the best thing for both of you, and leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 I second many other posters' opinions. Leave this woman. You've no respect or feelings for her (by calling her a whore), and if you say otherwise, you are a liar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 I second many other posters' opinions. Leave this woman. You've no respect or feelings for her (by calling her a whore), and if you say otherwise, you are a liar. Well she use to be a whore. Why are all of you shaming him for how he feels? We all have things we don't like or bother us. I would have never took it further with her because of her past. Would any of you women date a man that was a male escort for men or women? History of homosexual activity? In a sense the past matters because it make us who we are in the present. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 You have a right to leave if you're not comfortable with it, just as everyone else has a right to their own preferences. You do NOT have the right to stay and continue to disrespect her. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
halfcrazed_i Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 This girl doesn't deserve to be with you. You're punishing her for something that she did in her past (and can't do anything about at this point in time)... and she came clean about it at the start of your relationship. It was YOUR choice to stay with her despite all that. And clearly, you couldn't deal with it. So let the poor girl go and let her find happiness. You will just constantly be eaten out by your insecurities -- and you're taking it all out on her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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