Minnie09 Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Umm... What? Obviously people don't need to avoid bars altogether just because they don't have a friend with them. It's stupid, short-sighted, and just plain naive to think watching your drink is some wild and crazy paranoia. Are you one of those people who takes offense for being told to avoid the more dangerous parts of town? You can scream equal rights as much as you want. Taking a leisurely stroll down Kensington, alone, and in the dark is unsafe. Everybody, absolutely everybody I've ever known had no problem watching their own drinks. You're also supposed to refuse drinks from strangers and only accept a drink if it came directly from the bartender. If anybody here has a normal attitude, it certainly isn't you, unless you're twelve. KaliLove has the right idea and these simple acts aren't even a passing thought, fear, or concern for just about anyone. Lol ok.....are we talking Kensington, London, uk or Philadelphia? I wouldn't go on a leisurely stroll on Kensington, Philly but I wouldn't go to a bar in that area, either. I've traveled quite a bit in my life, and to areas that aren't considered touristy or safe, and Kensington is probably a preschool playground compared to those countries. We're talking weird places in the Middle East and some countries in Africa......I've always been and felt safe. And I never wore my wallet around my neck hidden under my t-shirt, bahaha. I guess it's just an attitude thing. Bad people can be here and there. I just prefer to explore rather than assume that people want to harm me. And as far as watching my drink.....i don't take it with me to the bathroom, ever, but most of the time I'm just sitting there with my drink anyways, safely. So if you go to a bar, in a group, of course, do you byob, or do you trust the bartender? They might put some barbiturates in your drink, ya know...... Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Well, if OP is female, it makes sense that she would be advised to go to a gay bar. (safer?) But as to weirdness in itself - it depends on the point of view. I'm a musician. I play in clubs all the time. Sometimes with a band, sometimes alone. A bar is, of course, a very different kind of place - from a stage. (which is often where the real comfort zone is.) But I used to go to joints alone all the time when very young (teenage) because the music was what attracted me. Along with that - came the social side of it. If there is any potential danger (or thought of it) then it's not a bad idea at all to go with friends. At least to check a place out - get the lay of the land. It can also depend on the bar. There are enormous differences between venues. Knowing the difference can help considerably (but one must still go through that learning curve somehow, in some way.) - and if I got my gender flipped here.........do all the same rules apply? Some of them. The 'woman alone in a bar' thing has got to be one of life's constant dramas. I don't think it should be - but too often it is. Through all that drama, I've met some astounding women. Their confidence inspires no end of admiration. (In short, they can handle themselves quite well - and the shenanigans of others sublimely.) And some of them have even been quite young. They didn't strike me as weird at all. On the contrary - natural as the rain. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Come on..this Victorian mentality is silly. Girls get raped in school bathrooms more often than they do in public at a bar..should they be accompanied there too? Yes, I agree that you shouldn't leave your drink unattended if you're alone at a bar but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go to a bar alone. I do it and I'm fine. I've even made some friends that way. Instead of terrifying your daughter and making her completely dependent on other people, why not teach her how to defend herself, and how to be smart (i.e. wearing her purse across her chest, and not leaving a drink alone)? At least get your facts straight please. Almost half of rapes involve alcohol. I highly doubt the remainder occur in a school bathroom. And if it's okay with you I'd rather not raise a bar fly of a daughter. Go there to meet friends? No problem. Go there to make new friends? Gross. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 I have never done this before. I've always been worried about looking weird, drinking alone. Is it considered normal for someone to do that? How would I even occupy myself while remaining approachable? Do I just stare into space? People watch? Bring a book with me? I go to bars by myself sometimes. I'm a man, if that's important. It seems normal to me, and I see other people by themselves (both male and female). Sometimes I watch tv, if there is one, or read a newspaper, or play with my phone, or drink my beer and stare out of the window, or look to see if there are any attractive women in the bar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 i wouldn't go alone to be honest, only to meet friends. if i went alone i would just sit there and feel awkward, like now what? must be a confidence issue. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Bahahaha! I'm sorry but this is kind of a funny thread. Thanks for posting! No it's not weird to go to a bar alone at all. I'm a female & I've done it plenty. Oh, btw, I'm also an alcoholic. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snappytomcat Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 im a very classy woman,and I go to bars alone a lot,sometimes my hubby will meet up with me,and sometimes after a long hard day at work,i need a drink. I don't live my life in fear,but I also pay attention to my surroundings 6 Link to post Share on other sites
firmness Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Here Spiral. Please read this before you venture out to a bar alone: 7 tips to lower your chance of becoming a rape victim - ABC15 Arizona Thanks! I stopped watching and reading as soon as I saw the stat "1 in 4 women will be victims of sexual assault...." This number has been debunked many times. What I do not get is who gains by promoting this propaganda. Women don't really win with this - do they? As soon as I smell a hint of racism, or sexism, or ignorance, I usually stop reading the article or watching the video. What we need in this country is an open dialogue about these issues. That may happen one day, but so far it is getting less and less likely. Ignorance is what feeds just about all bad things in the world, and this is more of the same. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) At least get your facts straight please. Almost half of rapes involve alcohol. I highly doubt the remainder occur in a school bathroom. And if it's okay with you I'd rather not raise a bar fly of a daughter. Go there to meet friends? No problem. Go there to make new friends? Gross. That's incredibly rude and judgmental. What is the point of you being nasty to a perfect stranger? Your kids will go to bars whether you like it or not. It's up to you whether or not you teach them how to behave while they're there. If you don't..I hope you're prepared to raise a whole bunch of illegitimate grandkids. Edited May 30, 2014 by KaliLove Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 That's incredibly rude and judgmental. What is the point of you being nasty to a perfect stranger? Your kids will go to bars whether you like it or not. It's up to you whether or not you teach them how to behave while they're there. If you don't..I hope you're prepared to raise a whole bunch of illegitimate grandkids. What is the point of you being rude to a perfect stranger? Go to the bar by yourself if it makes you happy. Have fun too! Makes not one bit of difference to me. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I stopped watching and reading as soon as I saw the stat "1 in 4 women will be victims of sexual assault...." This number has been debunked many times. What I do not get is who gains by promoting this propaganda. Women don't really win with this - do they? As soon as I smell a hint of racism, or sexism, or ignorance, I usually stop reading the article or watching the video. What we need in this country is an open dialogue about these issues. That may happen one day, but so far it is getting less and less likely. Ignorance is what feeds just about all bad things in the world, and this is more of the same. You should have read just a little bit further and saw that the statistic came from the National Center for Victims of Crimes but whatever. Enjoy drinking by yourself in a bar too. Sounds like you'd fit in fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Bahahaha! I'm sorry but this is kind of a funny thread. Thanks for posting! No it's not weird to go to a bar alone at all. I'm a female & I've done it plenty. Oh, btw, I'm also an alcoholic. Lol I certainly have gotten looks... "That beeyotch is a drunk" Lolol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I'm not sure what kind of bar the OP is asking about. No I would not go to a nightclub alone, I would feel extremely weird. I don't leave my drink alone in those places even if I'm with friends. I do go to my local pub though. I know all the staff now so I will bring a book and have a pint or glass of wine on the patio by myself no problems. Not sure how that would not be classy? I would try to finish my drink before using the restroom but wouldn't be paranoid if I didn't, I guess because I doubt the staff would let some strange man drag me out of there. There is also a wine bar that I will go to myself sometimes as well for dinner. I don't know anyone here yet and I'm not going to sit at home and mope. You don't have to be paranoid, you just need common sense. You can sort of tell the sort of establishment that would be riskier. The super busy nightclubs are the worst. When I was tending bar there was a club a couple of blocks away that was just notorious for it but the pub I worked at had no problems. I don't think a female should ever over drink, and only one or two if alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 It's cool to go to a bar on your own, but only if you've got your wits about you and you're careful. I'm a grown man, and I go everywhere on my own but even I have to be careful! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Some places I consider the moto - One and done. Been to gay/fetish bars (mostly while traveling in Europe - was rather cool!) Been to nightclubs been to upscale strip clubs, and the lowest strip clubs All with the theory- Observe, listen and get out when its time. A lady can hold her own in most environments using the skills of composure. Actually had some drag queens chat with me one night, they were a hoot! I didnt feel threatened or awkward. If anything it was intriguing to hear what they do on on a regular work week. I had not one drop of alcohol, so my mind was clear to make safe decisions. I'd be the first to say Go if you can handle yourself, and Use the One and done moto. Its served me well when trying new environments. Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 As a hetero male, gay bars are really entertaining. Only been to one though... they had a drag show, and they were pretty convincing haha. It's all fun and games until a man starts trying to drag you to the dance floor without even asking you to dance. -.- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Lol I certainly have gotten looks... "That beeyotch is a drunk" Lolol hahaha this made me LOL for real! Greatness. Link to post Share on other sites
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