enigma.xoxo Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 My boyfriend and I have been seriously envolved now for almost 6 months. He moved into my home three months ago and while we have many issues to work through, as MOST new relationships do, there is one in particular that bothers me the most... My boyfriend has many female friends and "ex-lovers-turned-friends" that he still remains in contact with. Although these are women who eventually broke up with "him," Johnny still seems unable to put closure on them. There's still the occasional "email" and telephone exchanges...and in the beginning, there was one female friend in particular who he had slipped off to meet for lunch...AFTER our agreement NOT to see other people. While he was in the process of moving into my home, I discovered a folder full of letters from some of these women dating back as far as his college years as well as many photographs. Although he tells me that he loves me, and claims that he wouldn't be moving in with me unless he did, I still wonder if there is a reason for concern. I don't like dealing with ex-girlfriend "baggage" and feeling as if I'm competing with ghosts from his past. Not all of these women have been "kind" to him in the past, yet as soon as they drop him a "bone"...via email, letter, telephone or otherwise...he seems to JUMP on it as if grateful they paid him any attention at all! We have discussed this issue more than once, and he continues to proclaim his love and devotion to me while making me feel guilty about "not trusting him." Should I question his sincerity; or am I just being paranoid?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 I do agree with your feelings here. You know why? Because a lot of people have problems letting go of the past . You see it all the time in real life, and here in the Loveshack. You see people starting relationships with other people, then break it because they have a chance to get back with their 'ex'.You see people still blaming their current love interest for something an ex did to them. You here stories of people in relationships but still secretly longing for the one that got away. You have a past too , don't you? Does your boyfriend have to deal with it? Does he see you receive e-mail from ex-lovers or have lunch with ex-boyfriends? If you don't beat him over the head with your past, why should you deal with his? I can only give my personal opinion here.Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to be in regular contact with a former lover while in a relationship. If I wanted to be "friends" with someone, I can go be friends with my guy buddies or girls I never dated. I don't need to be "friends" with former lovers. Link to post Share on other sites
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